


Silver Rings

by Empressing



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-, Togainu no Chi
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crossover, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-08-06 04:22:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16381307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empressing/pseuds/Empressing
Summary: Rai is a lonely male cat with a mediocre life. Konoe is the head Sanga's son who has had misfortune come in the worst way possible. They have friends too, but they aren't the point of this story and they know it. Togainu no Chi/Lamento crossover. The world is a hybrid of the two universes. Everyone is a ribikia also.





	1. The Touga's Grave.

**Author's Note:**

> I killed my favorite and it was sad. :(

                   

 Rai’s girlfriend was storming out again, that bloody redhead, Mana. Shiki was a fucking idiot, why had he listened to him when choosing who to date? Mana was hot, but she wasn’t girlfriend material. Once the rough sex was over, she was out mentally for Rai. He would bitch that this a casual bar and they were being trashy, but it didn’t matter. He let her leave and turned to finish the rest of his drink. They were fighting about her flunking out of college and how there was no point of going into debt if she wasn’t going to try. Rai just ignored it for now. She was a good bang but not worth anything else. The title of girlfriend was merely to make her feel better, not because he meant it. Rai was looking around the dimly lit, musty, old wooden pub. He saw Akira creep in silently with Keisuke for whatever reason. Keisuke attempted to twine tails with Akira as they climbed into a booth but was shot down with a glare. Rai slammed back the rest of his drink and made eye contact with Akira. He then walked over to him,

“What the fuck are you creepin’ around this joint for?” Akira was unmoved,

“Why do you care?” He scoffed.

“Bored and buzzed, why is he with you?” Everyone knew of Keisuke’s homoerotic contention for Akira, well, expect for Akira.

“We’re friends, I know you aren’t familiar. Where’s asshole?” Rai shook his head, Shiki was gone on the other side of town,

“Not here, thank goddess.” The bell on the entrance rang again,

“He’s here.” Keisuke chirped, and Rai turned to see a surprise.

The head Sanga’s son.

 His white and brown fur, his silky blonde hair and sharp expression. He was dressed in his street clothes, turquoise shirt and black pants. Akira clicked his tongue and everyone else avoided eye contact with him. Rai moved out of the way so the coveted one could sit down across from Akira. He looked Rai up and down like he was piece of meat.

“Who are you?” A guarded voice came from the blond’s throat. Rai was still amazed to be seeing him this close. He’d heard of him and his lack of Touga, despite being the most wanted Sanga in the land. He’d had a Touga before, but that was years ago. Everyone wanted to know why he didn’t try again. Rai was great at keeping a stony expression for this, the Sanga was good looking.

“Rai.”

“Great, Rai, you’re in my way of getting to business with Akira.” He snapped,

“Rai can stay, Konoe. He’s trustworthy.” Keisuke nodded in agreement, Rai thought about it for a moment before opting to stay. Rai looked to Keisuke and Akira, who moved closer in the booth. Rai then sat next to Keisuke, who shrunk slightly. Konoe began to talk,

“Where is Nano?” Akira made a face.

“He’s away.” Rai didn’t know who this Nano was. He didn’t care, he was staring at Konoe. Coveted Sanga with a pretty face, he was into it for mere power it would bring alone. Konoe got a lilac drink, something horridly girlie. Especially in sharp contrast to the requested sweet rum that Akira and Keisuke asked for. “Why’d you get that?” Akira was the only one comfortable here it seemed.

“The fucking sewer water here needs all the flavoring in the world to be drinkable.” The plain-faced waitress was more than happy to get the drinks, she took her time though.

“Your girlie drink excuses are shit.” He commented and Konoe glared,

“Yeah? Enjoy your deer urine.” Konoe came right back in a way Rai was not expecting. Then again, what was he expecting? He’d never been invited to a setting where Konoe might have been. He’d only ever seen Prince Sanga Shui from afar in fact. The drinks came back, and the waitress winked vainly at Konoe. He was disinterested in everything, he thought Akira had picked the perfectly horribly time to introduce him to more assholes he knew. Tonight, was the eve before the anniversary of his Touga’s death. Asato had been dead for nearly 4 years and it was like the wound was still fresh. He wanted to go seek out Father Leaks, but honestly didn’t know what his parents were doing. They weren’t dealing well with the fact that Kaltz, Asato’s father, had thrown himself into the river 8 months ago. Akira knew Nano was gone for the same reason. He’d been friends with Asato and Akira’s love couldn’t help seal the hole he’d left when he died. He touched his pocket, he had a locket containing a picture of Asato and himself in it. After these drinks, they would go celebrate Asato’s life. By celebrating he meant throwing himself on the grave while Akira pretended like it didn’t ruin his life too.

 “What are you going to do, Konoe?” Akira spoke.

“The same thing we always do, what else am I supposed to?” Konoe took a sip off his drink, Akira sighed. Konoe’s grief seemed never-ending and the fact that he refused to even entertain other Tougas didn’t help. He looked to Rai, who was blissfully unaware of all this. He’d only been here for a year and half, the most he knew was: Konoe was the son of the Prince, he had a Touga years ago and he no longer does. Akira feared his friend of all these years would never be able to move on. It was not a matter of replacing Asato, Konoe didn’t understand that though. No Touga that approached Konoe was trying to be Asato, there would never be another Asato and everybody knew it. “Are you in?” Rai turned his eye to Konoe,

“In for what?”

“You seem like you’re apathetic, you wanna see the grave of my dead Touga?” Rai turned his ears forward,

“He’s dead?” He was surprised that Konoe was so blunt,

“He’s been dead for a while now. In or out?” Konoe was watching this white cat, who was being prideful. Akira flicked his tail and nudged Keisuke. Who spoke softly to Rai,

“Prince has a beautiful singing voice.” Keisuke smiled at Konoe, who turned a little pink. 

“I told you to not call me that, Keisuke.” Konoe made a face. Rai thought about his apartment that smelled like Mana and knew the answer.

“Sure, whatever.” Akira and Konoe spoke at the same time,

“Great.” Konoe finished his drink with a few powerful slurps and Akira slammed back his shot, Keisuke playing the mimic game. Konoe slid out first, throwing a silver coin to the bartender. They all followed him out into the chilly winter night. Rai pulled on his cloak and was the closest to Konoe. They headed down the paved road and deviated into the woods along a small dirt path. It was so cold that the animals seldom made sounds, Keisuke and Akira were grumbling about something. Rai was watching Konoe carefully. More specifically he was watching Konoe’s animated tail and ass bounce as he walked. Konoe was cute, cuter than Mana. Rai was too buzzed to care that he was a male cat.

 “Here we are.” Konoe’s voice strained in the cold night air in front of an ornate sword sticking out of the ground. Rai stood the side, so this was the grave of a Touga. The one eyed cat watch as Konoe fell to a kneel in front of the sword, almost like he was worshipping it. Konoe smelled the earth where Asato lay and rubbed his face against his royal sword. The sword he received they performed their Sanga-Touga ritual and their souls became twinned. Konoe began to tear up as he remembered that day. Asato had made love to him over and over again that night. It was the most magical day of his life, even his parents were overjoyed to the point of drunkenly making out and having to escorted to a different room. He remembered the way Asato had felt, his warm, strong form had wrapped around him. He quietly cried into the soil.

“Konoe, Konoe…” Akira put his hands on his crying friend’s shoulders. Rai was at a loss, what the hell was this? It was making Rai feel weird. Keisuke sat beside Konoe and Rai thought maybe he made the wrong decision.

“I’m so lost, Akira…” Konoe’s face was turning red with anguish, “Ever since he has been gone I have felt myself lost…” Akira offered his arms to Konoe and Rai watched as they held onto each other. This went on as the wind kicked up and Rai looked to the side to see a golden brown cat wearing a white shirt and brown pants standing beside him. The expressionless cat said nothing but was staring deeply at Akira.

“Who the fuck are you?” Akira looked over at the sound of Rai’s voice,

“Nano, he’s Nano. Come here with us, Nano.” Akira cooed to the cat and he sat beside them. Rai felt like he was standing on guard for some reason. This Touga, what was his name? Rai took a closer look at the sword, the handle read ‘Asato’. Asato, that’s who was here and that is who Konoe was morose for. The legends were true, one does not simply get over the death of a Sanga or Touga. The mourning on the ground lasted a bit as the night grew darker and quieter. It was Akira who pulled away, “Konoe, I have to go.” Konoe nodded, Nano and Keisuke followed Akira back on the dirt path. Rai watched as they faded into the darkness. Konoe had stopped crying, but the moon showed his puffy, red face. He sat on his knees, occasionally touching Asato’s sword. He had forgotten Rai was there, he turned his head up at the white cat.

“Why are you still here? You don’t have to pity me.” Konoe said dryly, his voice distorted from crying.

“I don’t pity anyone.” Rai shot right back,

“It must be pretty novel, right? I am the son of the head Sanga.” Rai gave an icy stare back and Konoe stood, a bitter laugh escaped him. He looked to the sword and then back to Rai, “Where’s your Sanga, anyway?” Konoe said, not wanting to talk about the dead Asato anymore.

“I don’t have one. How did you know I’m a Touga?”

“I can smell it from a mile away.” Konoe licked his lower lip and Rai wasn’t satisfied but wasn’t in the place to ask Konoe anymore. Konoe sighed, “I’m sure you’ll find one.” He said quietly, “Ask my dad if you want to meet Sangas.” Rai leaned back a bit,

“I can just go up to him?” Konoe chuckled,

“Of course, dad doesn’t bite. Just remember that the redhead is the nice one. Avoid the one with the blond braid, he’s a hard ass.” Rai was mildly surprised that he could go up and ask the head Sanga for things. He really didn’t know anything about the royal business. Konoe leaned down and pressed his head to the butt of the sword one last time before leaving.

* * *

 

 Rai was ignoring Mana’s attempts to get sex out of him. He was hoping Shiki would be home soon. He was gazing around at his black carpeted, junk riddled bedroom. The lipstick on the ground next to him seemed to be staring, _smear me on these silver sheets._ She needed to go to work soon, so she finally slithered out of bed and put on her work clothes. Rai watched as she applied makeup and brushed her hair. He guessed she might have been fucking either her boss or coworker, he couldn’t say he cared. She turned and huffed at him before throwing her coat to leave. He rolled over and thought about Konoe. He’d encountered the coveted Sanga and it was like there was nothing. Is this what the other Tougas felt when they were with Konoe? Like he was totally apart from the rest of the world? If so, what had made that Asato so special to warrant all this? Rai wanted to know.

 He rolled out of bed and hopped into the shower. Despite not having sex with Mana, he still felt like he had to wash the scent of her off him. The sheets were next, he’d have to go down and pay the woman her fare to do it. It was easier than trying to navigate the shabbily road the laundry mat was located on. Whatever the case, it’d have to wait until he got home. He dressed plainly, he had a class at 2 and then he had a 4 hour work study serving people the bitchiest coffee ever. He hated it, but he needed the money to throw at Shiki, so he would make himself busy with whatever bar skank he was fucking this week.

 Rai turned his ears as he heard the front door open and close. ‘Asshole’ as Akira had affectionally named him, was home. There was a clanking in the kitchen, Rai pretended he didn’t hear him. Shiki wasn’t always like this. He used to be a real prude about sex and one night stands. Akira’s bitter rejection had done this to him. Not only had Akira refused him during mating season to the point of stomping on his tail, but then he went and mated with Shiki’s mortal enemy: Nano. Now Shiki no longer held any of it up as being valuable, he merely was trying to feel. This story may have sounded sad from the outside. But Shiki was a dick who would have just pushed Akira around as a sex slave. Rai was glad someone had balls around here.

 “Will you fucking stop it?!” Rai opened his bedroom door and growled at Shiki’s noisy endeavors. Shiki came around the corner holding cup,

“Fucking make me, eye patch.” The kitchen needed to be cleaned but neither addressed it, they held a futile staring contest before Rai slammed the door to his bedroom. Shiki went right back to clanking, what was the time? Rai pulled on his boots and decided that, despite it being an hour until class, hanging out in the run down student center was better than this shit. He slung his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his coat and left.

* * *

 

 Konoe fell the ground, crushing his fist into the cold dirt of the area below him. His father Leaks was watching over him. He could almost read his father’s mind.

 “Enough, Enough.” He cried, Leaks stared down at his pitiful son. They were trying to see if Konoe was strong enough to perform necromancy yet. The answer was still a hard no. Leaks was becoming jaded, they had tried so many times and had failed in the same fashion again, again. Konoe would never be powerful enough magically to bring back his dead Touga. It was time Leaks told him this, the longing was suffering.

“It is not meant to be.” Leaks spoke, Konoe looked up and shook his head in deviance.

“No! I can do it!” Konoe stood up too fast and his body buckled, he clutched the pink crystal in his hand tightly. He waved it in Leaks face, “I can do it! I can do it! He would have done anything for me, I can do this much for him!” Konoe turned back to the burning herbs and held up the crystal, desperate crooks of broken spell words escaping him. Leaks had had enough of this. He grabbed the hand that held the crystal and wrestled it away from his son who protested loudly. “Ugh!” He lunged at Leaks who backed away so fast Konoe fell to the ground again. His chest was heaving, and his head was filled with the emotion of pure sadness. Leaks felt terribly bad for his son but had to stand on conviction.

“No more, Konoe. Please, stop this.” Konoe rolled onto his back and looked up at Leaks,

“Why, why can’t I…?” Konoe begged to Leaks as he watched his father crush the crystal with his hands using magic strength.

“This is the universe telling you to do what is actually necessary, Konoe. Asato isn’t coming back, we cannot do this anymore.”

“What am I supposed to do without him?! He was the one!” Leaks glared,

“There is no such thing as ‘the one’, Konoe, stop it.  Today, I am getting your dad to call upon your Touga suitors and you will entertain them. You will entertain them for however many days it takes until you find yourself one you like.” Leaks commanded deeply and swiftly. Konoe was helpless against the proclamation. He knew his dad, Shui, would agree with Leaks. They both had been telling him to look for another Touga for a while now. Besides, he knew it didn’t come from a malicious place. Leaks merely wanted Konoe to find love and a real Touga again. Once he had given Konoe enough time to cool down, his kneeled down to his son, “My son, I know you miss your mate terribly. I have felt the same before, when I young. But you must entertain others, it is the only way. Asato would not want to watch his beloved suffer eternally in this way, Konoe. You must be happy, it is what he would have wanted.” Leaks spoke softly, appealing to Konoe the only way he knew how. He touched his son’s face and Konoe leaned into the touch. Tearing up a bit, he moved up to put his head in his father’s lap. Leaks pet his son’s head, “It has to get harder before it gets easier, you have to stop fighting it.”


	2. Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow nobody saw that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 4am.

                       

Rai got off his work study. He went back home, changed into his formal Touga gear and headed towards the center of town where the palace was. He didn’t want to admit he was nervous to meet Prince Shui, even though his own son had insisted he was nice. He approached the gate and took in a deep breath. The guards looked at him,

“I’m here to see Prince Shui. I was sent by his son.” The guards nodded and opened the gate. Rai was surprised they believed him just like that as he walked in. He went up to the double doors and push one open, a creak following. Rai stepped in and was greeted by grey marble floors and dark green walls. He saw some plants on various adorned wood tables dotting the hallways. He looked up to see a painted portrait of the Prince holding hands while sitting with a blond cat in all black with a long braid, Konoe sat nobly just in front of them. The blond cat in the painting had almost the same face as Konoe and he wondered who he was, why the prince was holding his hand. Who was tending to all this anyways? Rai walked along and that’s when a door to the lower left of the painting opened. A figure swayed out, it’s long hair and many layers seeming to float. When the figure’s face emerged, Rai got on his knee.

It was Prince Shui.

“Oh, don’t do that, stand, stand, Touga!” Shui chirped and Rai got chills as he felt the Prince’s finger tips sweep up his cheeks. Rai being floored for the first time in his life. He really felt like he was in a presence worth respecting for the first time. The Prince Shui. Rai looked up with a stunned face and Shui smiled, “Oh, you’ve never met me, young Touga? Don’t worry I have that effect on most Tougas, though I only use it on my husband.” Shui chuckled and put his hands together as Rai stood up. Rai couldn’t stop staring at the Prince. Shui was glad to see a Touga coming here of his own accord. “What brings you?”

“Your son says that you can assist me in finding a Sanga.” This roused Shui immensely.

“I can. Every Sanga in the land knows me and pays service to me. Not to brag of course!” Shui was the most powerful Sanga, it had the gig of him being adored by many and having endless help. It had other things he didn’t like about it though, as with anything. Rai was trying to understand what was going on here. Did the Prince just say ‘husband’? He looked to the painting and back to Shui. Shui noticed this and turned to the painting, he was happy to introduce yet another to his wonderful life. Oh, there were so many who had come from afar who never knew of his and Leaks’ love. He was happy to brag about that. “You notice my painting of my family, aren’t they beautiful?” Rai grunted, unsure if it was a trick question. Shui took a moment to bask in it, he was happy Konoe was older now. It gave him and Leaks plenty of couple time, which he loved. He turned back to Rai, “Follow me.” Shui guided him down some hallways that look similar to the first one, just with minor changes. “So! What is it you look for in a Sanga?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” Rai replied dryly and Shui twirled around to look Rai in the eye,

“That is your first mistake, Touga, one does not simply say ‘you are Sanga and that is enough’. Sanga and Touga bonds are deep bonds stemming from love of all kinds. One can not be a good Touga if you do not have any chemistry with your Sanga!” Shui turned back and started walking forward again. He raised his hand as he talked and walked, “Sangas come in all shapes and sizes, the gift does not discriminate.” Shui only stopped talking so he could open the door to a room with a large window, a wood desk, red carpets and filled with books. Rai thought the Prince looked regal as he stood in front of the window, putting his hands on the desk in front of him. The prince made intense eye contact with Rai, “So I ask you again, dear Touga, what do you seek in a Sanga?” There was a silence before Rai said, 

“I want a strong willed male Sanga.” That wasn’t a totally honest answer, but it was the best he could give Shui. What Rai didn’t know is that he had already caught a Sanga’s eye, said Sanga just didn’t know it yet. Shui knew his son better than he knew himself and Konoe’s heart was definitely moving onward. Shui tapped his nose in thought,

“Let me get my husband.” Shui disappeared and Rai didn’t understand why the Sanga required his husband. Wasn’t this just a routine thing for him? Shui disappeared, the door locked behind him for some reason and Rai tried to not be too weirded out. An unknown amount of time passed as Rai read the spines of the books in the room. The door clicked open again and Shui walked in with Leaks in tow. They were whispering things to each other. Rai tried to hear but it was in vain, they both stood in front of him. Shui was holding hands with his husband, “This is Leaks, my husband.” Shui purred out the words _my husband._ The head Sanga seemed to glow as he looked at the man known as Leaks. Rai and Leaks were measuring each other up. The painting had done this cat no justice. He was in head to toe black and was intimidating as all hell. His aloofness in sharp contrast to the bubbliness of Shui. Still, Rai watched as Shui’s face radiated with love for the cat beside him. Rai realized he knew nothing.

 “Shui has informed me of your circumstance. I will spare you, I know you are interested in my son. You have my approval to pursue him, but you are one of many who may take him on.” Shui grinned and nodded his head, Rai snarled.

“What the fuck makes you two so confident?” He was defensive.

“We’re his parents, he wouldn’t have sent just any Touga here. You are a dime a dozen in his eyes.” Leaks spoke confidently, unphased. “This is not an argument, Touga, you will give my son your time or be banished.” Rai couldn’t fucking believe it, but he was also totally powerless against what was happening. It wasn’t like it was untrue, Rai had taken an interest in Konoe. He wondered if the blond looked just as good sober. “In 3 days, I will host a gathering of Tougas, each of which will attempt to sway Konoe in their favor. You will come to this palace and be escorted by guards or my husband to the training arena at high noon. Is this all understood?” Rai was hanging onto the surreality of what was about to happen.  
“Yes.” Rai spoke,

“Good, let us guide you out.” Leaks and Shui were still holding hands tightly as Rai followed them back out. They whispered to each other,

“Do you think he might be the one?” Shui giggled,

“God, I hope so.” Leaks spoke quietly, exhausted of Konoe’s games. Shui kissed him on the cheek and Rai didn’t think he’d seen two cats this in love in a long time. The door was opened, and Rai took a step down, preparing to leave the grounds before he said:

“Don’t you want to know my name?” He questioned them,

“No. I don’t want to feel attached if Konoe crushes you.” Leaks slammed the door in Rai’s face.

* * *

 

 Konoe was bitching to Akira, who had Nano watching from the bed in their home. He was complaining about his father Leaks and having to go entertain Tougas. Akira mostly had no input, he wasn’t a Sanga and Nano wasn’t a Touga. Konoe had a problem Akira couldn’t even begin to understand.

“Konoe, just fucking do it.” Konoe snapped his head in the direction of Akira,

“Why?”

“Because I’m tired of your self-pity. Find another Touga, please.” Konoe grabbed his friend’s shirt and growled at him,

“I can’t find another Touga! What don’t you get!?” Akira hissed and shoved Konoe off him,

“Yes, you can, you just don’t want to. Give another guy a chance to prove himself. It is the only way you are going to heal.” Akira’s voice was assertive and frustrated. Konoe walking around like a wounded animal was pathetic. Konoe flicked his tail and glared at Akira,

“Is that why you lured me to sit with Rai?”

“What? No, he was already fucking there. Why would I want you to hook up with Shiki’s roommate?”

“It isn’t hooking up, Akira! It’s a sacred bond!” Konoe yelled, oddly defensive. Akira had to think for a moment, would it really be so bad if Rai and Konoe got together? Sure, Rai was an asshole, but he wasn’t the abusive prick Shiki was. Then again, Akira couldn’t say he knew Rai all that well. Akira thought it might be a sacrifice he’d willing to make if Konoe was able to get out of this funk. He found himself so lost in thought that he not even noticed had come over, he was looking at both Konoe and himself. Akira’s tone softened,

“What is it, Nano?”

“Blue cat would have wanted Konoe to be happy, Konoe should allow himself to be happy.” Nano nodded. ‘Blue cat’ was a term of endearment Nano had picked for Asato, Akira had to admit he didn’t get why he picked it though. Konoe looked at Nano and sighed, Nano’s words on Asato could influence Konoe somewhat. He had made a deep platonic connection with Asato that was unexplainable. Akira and Konoe both chose to never question it, as Nano and Asato’s friendship had existed outside of their romantic endeavors. It was healthy for them.

“Do you really think so, Nano?” Konoe curled his tail and his face became grieved. Nano held up his hand and Konoe hesitantly pressed their palms. Nano made eye contact. This was a gesture he used to do with Asato when he wanted to be sincere or tell him something important.

“I really think so, Konoe.” Konoe sighed,

“Fine. I will try, for Asato…” Konoe would have a hard time falling in love with another Touga. He had no delusion this would be an easy journey, but easy journeys are the ones not worth taking most of the time. Konoe looked at the little sun dial on Akira’s table. He probably should go home,

“I have to go, Tougas tomorrow.” Akira and Nano didn’t even flinch as Konoe departed.

* * *

 

   Leaks and Shui were staring at each other. This cottage of eternity would always feel better than that castle. Shui had a worrying expression, it kicked up Leaks instincts. Shui was clinking his spoon against his bowl, the candles were dancing all around them. Of they were both thinking about Konoe and that Touga who said Konoe had referred him to Shui. It made them hopeful.

“Shui.” The sanga looked up and smiled at Leaks,

“Yes, dear?”

“Why are you doing that?”

“Oh, you know…nerves for Konoe about tomorrow. What did you say to him that made him change his mind?” Shui turned his ears. He knew that Leaks was the more powerful influencer of the two parents. This was because of their special connection that cause them to be mirrors of each other. Konoe held a piece of Leaks essence in him that saved his stillborn self the day he was born. It still kept him alive, Shui was glad Konoe had two parents so he would never see a lack of mother as a problem.

 “It is not what I have said, but what Asato said.” Shui made a face,

“What Asato said?”

“Even during the incident, he would still weep to see Konoe suffer. No matter what the cause. So, I told Konoe that this endless pain is not what Asato would have wanted.” Leaks took a drink of his white wine. “His name is Rai, by the way. I asked Nano about it.”

“But he was so possessive of Konoe.” Shui responded and instantly felt stupid for saying it.

“That didn’t matter to him, he wanted Konoe to be happy more than he wanted to possess him.” Leaks felt a pang and Shui curled his tail, “He was noble like that.” Leaks remembered fondly the first time he had met Asato when he was a toddler. He protected the child and his father from certain death, they went into the arms of the Meigi protected by Leaks. Shui remembered that day too, it was the day that he became Leaks was the love of his life. As if Leaks killing his would be assassin and bringing his newborn son back to life wasn’t enough.

 “I suppose you are right, he would have been the first one to insist Konoe try to move on.” Asato didn’t think very highly of himself but would have followed Konoe into fire on his hands and knees. Shui stood, leaving his bowl on the table, and touching Leaks hand. “Let us talk somewhere more comfortable.” Leaks had to agree, and he stood, following Shui to their martial bed. Most of the city people believed them to live in the castle, but the truth was that only Konoe lived in there. Their real marital home and bed would always be this house in the woods only their family could find. Leaks laid down and Shui purred as he cuddled to his mate. He was still in love after 15 years of marriage. He knew Leaks would dismiss his romantic soulmate tales, but Shui still believed that Leaks was probably the one. Shui had another question, “Why do you think Konoe picked that Rai?”

“No more of that, please.” Shui giggled, he put Leaks in the zone. He was glad his charms still worked.

“Alright, alright. Grumpy kitty is cuddly.” He teased.

“Stop it.” Shui giggled again.

“Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy kitty.” Shui purred and licked Leaks ears.

“I will kick you off this bed.” Shui proceeded to then wrap his whole body around Leaks,  
“You can’t make me. Love is the glue and it is endless.” Leaks wasn’t going to lie, this was a burden.  
“I can always banish you to the netherworld.” Leaks tone was getting jollier.

“Ah but then who would you take home with you?” Shui rubbed his fangs against Leaks neck and jaw, scenting him.

“I would go back to how I was in my 20s.”

“I would never let you, Leaks is never lonely as long as I live.” Shui began showering Leaks with kisses, being cheeky. Leaks grumbled something and blew out the candle. He pretended to fall asleep, until Shui actually did.

* * *

 

 Rai was careful to not deal Shiki where he was going or what he was going to do. He had no doubts Shiki would either sabotage it or be pissy with envy. Rai dressed himself in his best battle gear, not sure what to expect from this. He had to admit, Konoe’s parents were pretty weird. There was no clear history of them or how Konoe came to be. They kept it a secret and they seemed really happy to see Rai for some reason. Rai rid himself of the thoughts, they were unnecessary. Shiki had crept out of the apartment at goddess knows how early this morning. All Rai knew was that the sun had barely broken over the horizon so there was definitely sleeping time left.

Rai looked at himself in the full body mirror in the living room before leaving for the castle. He wondered what he was up against. It was not other Tougas he was thinking about. It was Konoe, he’d seen that cat drunkenly weep at his Touga’s grave one moment and then snap back up into being a douche in the next. What was his deal? Did Rai care? These were all questions whose answers would come in due time. He approached the castle gates and saw Prince Shui standing there. The Prince smiled and the gates opened for Rai,

“Rai, I am so happy you have remained interested.” Shui knew about the rumors of his son. Nobody paid any mind to the tale of grief and the now distant memory of Asato’s grand funeral. He didn’t want Rai to be deterred. He needed his son to pick someone and anyone who wasn’t a demon seed would do at this point.  Rai made a sound in response and followed Shui around back. Shui then pushed open a tall wooden door and they entered the grassy, outdoors arena. He saw 4 other Tougas standing there and Leaks was inspecting them. When the black cat heard the door open he turned, and his tail made a question mark in happiness when he saw his mate. Though his face remained unyielding. Rai joined the line of Tougas. He observed them with little regard, they all looked physically different but mentally the same. Leaks began to speak,

“You all know why you are here today, so I will simply explain what is going to happen. In a few moments you will be presented with Konoe. Then the Prince and I will enter. You will ready for battle, you will then fight us for a bit. The fight will end without a true winner. This will apply to all of you. Then will we come together with our son to go and discuss the results. One of our maids will lead to the festive room, my husband has insisted you all get a meal as a reward. You will find out who my son has selected today after the meal. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir!” All of the Tougas said, well, except for Rai. Leaks noticed and smirked a bit wickedly at Rai.

“Good, go to the bench and sit from left to right in the order you arrived.” Rai turned to stride away but was stopped by an invisible force.

“What the fuck?” Leaks crept over to him and he sneered at the older cat. What was his deal? He was beyond strange and cryptic. Leaks smirked remained and he put his finger to Rai’s chest. He spoke once more, so low that Rai almost thought it didn’t happen,

“Don’t disappoint me.” The invisible binds holding him in place were broken with a snap of the magician’s fingers. Rai shook it off and sat on the rightmost of the bench. Konoe entered shortly after, that same slightly pissy expression gracing him as the night they met. Rai had to hold him steady and stern, Konoe looked even better washed out under the overcast sky. His skin had hints of fresh cleaned glow and his fur was shiny. It wasn’t Rai’s drunk brain that night after all. He really was a fine piece of ass. Female cats and their bullshit really was overrated, Mana didn’t even know this was happening right now.

 Rai’s eye followed the first cat to go up with Konoe. He was a plain faced male cat with mousey hair and thought he was hot shit. This unfounded arrogance was clear when his performance as a Touga was mediocre. Konoe wasn’t amused by him either and couldn’t wait for him to go sit back down. Shui and Leaks were putting all their efforts into caring about the Tougas that weren’t Rai. They admitted to themselves that Rai was the only one they had faith in because Konoe picked him himself. Still they went on with the next 3. The second was an attractive blond who received a kick in the stomach when he tried to touch Konoe’s ass. The 3 one was a nice guy who flattered Konoe endlessly and was respectful of his parents. The 4th one had Rai feeling a bit challenged. He was a tall, lean brunette with freckles all over his face whom Konoe enjoyed. He made jokes Konoe laughed at and Shui found him pleasurable. Leaks couldn’t have cared less as he nearly rushed him back to the bench and called Rai.

“Rai, your turn.” There was some mumbling because Leaks had called none of the other Tougas by their names. He got close to Konoe and stared at him. Rai was captured by Konoe, they stared at each other while they decided how to engage. Konoe decided he should go first,

“Why me?” Konoe said softly, trying to avoid his parents prying ears.

 “Why not?” Rai responded back, not reading the room right. “How could I refuse such an offer?” Rai flicked his tail. Konoe felt embarrassed for some reason. Was it because Rai was pretty? Was it because his father had seemed so damn euthanistic? Shui and Leaks were trying to read lips to no avail. Shui still forbid Leaks to use magic to listen in, however.

“Do you like guys?” Konoe asked, this was important to him. He looked away with a pink face, these questions were never easy.

“I don’t think of things like that.”

“Then why are you even here?” Konoe looked back, making eye contact again. Did Rai not know? How fuck did he not know? It wasn’t a secret that Konoe and Asato’s relationship was a legal marriage as well as a recognized Sanga-Touga relationship.

“What the fuck are you speaking about, stupid cat?” Rai just wanted to be tested already, why was Konoe doing this?

“I have romantic relationships with my Tougas. So, I ask again, asshole, do you like guys?” Konoe hissed at the end of the question in frustration. Ugh, no wonder this guy got along with Shiki. Rai looked at Konoe for a moment. He had never thought about his sexuality in such a matter, but he wouldn’t be opposed to having a relationship with a hot person. Especially if they were a Sanga, no matter their gender.

“I don’t care what gender you are.” That answer didn’t satisfy Konoe as well as a firm yes would have. But that was all he was getting out Rai, he could tell.

“Fine, let’s do this.” Konoe turned his back to Rai as he got into a battle pose. Shui and Leaks did the same. The trial began, some tendrils rose from the ground and Rai cut through them. Leaks then pushed his hands forward, causing a gust of powerful wind to come and they both stood with their heads down. Once it was over Rai lunged at Leaks, it was a well place swing but Leaks stopped him, launching his body backwards. Rai darted back up and made eye contact with Shui, running at the Sanga. Leaks tried to trip him but Rai jumped the obstacles and aimed his sword at Shui’s chest.

“Et lux protegas me.” Shui’s voice spoke cooly and a beam of light wrapped around Rai, putting him back with Konoe. Rai looked to Konoe, wondering how this was going and that’s when Konoe opened his mouth. Out came a song, Rai saw that Leaks had manifested a pseudo enemy out of thin air. He listened closely to Konoe’s singing, the light radiating from his chest. He had seen it from afar, but from up close, he realized it was the most powerful thing he’d ever felt. As Konoe’s Sanga energy flowed to him, he launched himself at the enemy and plunged his sword into it. He could hear his heart in his ears and a few minutes past before the sound of clapping woke him from his trance. He looked up to see a grin on Shui face as he clapped and Konoe shaking his tail.

“Great, great!” Shui’s tail was curling like crazy, Rai waited for further instruction. Shui put his hand around Leaks and Rai looked to Konoe. Who was unreadable. Leaks opened his hand and small butterfly flutter out. A few moments later a maid came out from a small door behind Rai he hadn’t noticed.

“Follow me, Tougas!” She yelled and all the Tougas followed in her into the castle. Rai followed her, even her loose skirt could not hide the uncomfortable shake of her fatty thighs. He trailed her into the festive room. It was a room with gold and white marbled pillars, a mosaic with multiple colors woven in a pattern that centered the room. All the Tougas sat at the same table, no one spoke. Nobody cared, they all wanted to know if they were the one.

 Leaks and Konoe got into an argument about Rai that Shui felt powerless to interfere in. It was all for not though because Konoe ended up picking Rai anyways. It was not that Konoe liked him the best, it’s just that Leaks had talked enough circles around his son to convince him. Rai was the best looking. He was also the only one who would say he liked guys without having to be convinced into making Konoe an ‘exception’. Konoe also in all honesty didn’t want to look at anymore Tougas. As much as he hated the idea of having to learn to love his Touga, he was willing to do anything to get his parents off his back about it. He would simply tell Rai their relationship was business and keep it superficial enough to deter them from prying anymore on him. He was glad he lived in the castle inside of their cottage in the woods. 

 Konoe followed his parents out to the festive hall and Konoe realized he was hungry. He’d have to tell the cook to make him something after this was over. He wondered what Rai’s reaction would be, he wondered if Akira had gotten sane yet. He wondered if Asato was watching this shit happen from the afterlife. So many unanswered things whose answers only existed to distract him. His parents pushed open the doors and he walked around them to stand in the front. The room fell silent as he made eye contact with Rai,   
“You. I pick you.” Rai stood from his chair and everyone glared, but the room was still silent except for Rai’s footsteps as he approached Konoe. Konoe looked up at him, couldn’t handle the intensity of his icy blue eye and then looked back down.

“I accept.” Rai said, not bothering to hide how arrogant it made him feel. It made Konoe think: _like you wouldn’t._ There were the squeaking of chairs and a rumble of voices as the other Tougas were led out of the castle. Once they were all gone, Shui spoke.

“Welcome to our lives, Rai. You can ask anything of me, but from here on out, Konoe will be your guide. Let his light enter your heart.” Shui smiled and gestured to his son, Rai made a sour face that didn’t faze Shui at all.

“Dad.” Konoe looked at Shui’s smile and swiped his tail around.

“Just give my son some time, he will…” Shui put his hands together and looked at Leaks, before looking back at Rai. “Learn to love.” The Prince didn’t say that with much conviction. Rai was alright if Konoe didn’t love him, though it would have made the same sex discussion earlier even more awkward. Rai would not force a romantic relationship on Konoe. It wasn’t necessary, and he didn’t want it if he had to talk Konoe into it anyways. Not that Rai wanted a romance period. Leaks said nothing and left with Shui. There was an uncomfortable silence and Konoe broke it,

“I’m going to go get my dinner and then go be by myself for a while. Come back to castle tomorrow.”

“I can’t, I have school.” Rai said, not thinking about it.

“You no longer needed college, you are my Touga. Dad will dismiss you from your studies soon and you will owe no money to the kingdom.” Konoe was talking like he was an information desk, “Everything will be taken care of for you. You don’t have to live here though, and I suggest you don’t.” Konoe resisted the urge to end that sentence with: _I don’t want you here anyways, invading Asato and I’s marital space._ Rai found this all to be agreeable.

“I will come back tomorrow.” Rai said preparing himself to leave. Konoe mumbled: _or don’t._ Rai pretended he didn’t hear that.


	3. The Dead Touga's Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing is still shit ;)

 Rai came back to the castle and was let in without question by the guards this time. He figured that they had been told who he was. He stood outside observing the details of the castle. He noticed the silence the most. He wondered why there was little staffing here. This world was new, this family existed totally outside of the others he had met. He wanted to see his Sanga right now, however. He needed to get to know him for this to even work a little. Neither Mana nor Shiki knew what he was doing. He would tell Shiki whenever and he needed to get rid of Mana when the time was right. Even if he could not have a romance with Konoe, he at least needed her not distracting him anymore.

 Konoe was upstairs in his room, his parents were away doing something. He was on his bed, bowing with his legs curled beneath him and his arms stretched out. His nose was pressed against the dark blue silk sheets and he was pointed towards the head of the bed. Where above a romantic painting of him and Asato hung. He was wearing almost nothing, just something wrapped around his hips that covered his genitals and butt. He was coming to Asato’s memory unadorned, like he had done so much in life. Begging for his blessing and strength. This was a rite that was necessary of Sangas, especially if they were royals. Coming to your Touga unadorned and vulnerable to show a deep trust. It was to ask your Touga for their eternal love and protection. It happened whenever the Sanga needed it to and it was expected that the Touga then worship the Sanga in whatever way they sought fit. For Konoe and Asato, because they were a mated pair, it was candlelit sex.

 After Konoe was done, he stood and looked out the window to see Rai waiting for him. Konoe took a moment to really look at the guy and that’s when Rai looked up. Konoe hit the hardwood ground of his bedroom so hard it hurt for a minute. Didn’t Rai know he was forbidden to see his Sanga like this? _Doesn’t his Sanga know to not stand mostly nude in front of an open window?_ Konoe combat crawled to his closet. When he stood he got a chill. It was so weird to be calling himself someone’s else Sanga, he’d thought he’d never have to do that. _Rai’s Sanga, Rai’s Sanga, Rai’s Sanga, I am Rai’s Sanga,_ Konoe angrily shoved his pants and shirt on. He was wearing all black today so that everyone knew he was jaded about this. His usual brown boots were the breakage in the image of his Father Leaks. Konoe attached his small sword to his hip, in case silver cat tried anything funny. He exited his room, pulling his key out and locking it. He looked down the hallway, everything was the same in this place. He went to the end of the hallway and pushed open the door, going down the staircase. He did this through 4 more hallways until he came to the front. He breathed in and mentally prepared himself. He pushed open the door and saw Rai staring.

“Here I am.” Konoe kept his head down.

“Fucking finally.” Rai was the one who made them physically closer together, he looked down at Konoe. The Sanga had decided to go full tease with his tight pants today. Maybe Konoe wasn’t so opposed to the idea of being mates if he kept this up. They were just standing there, Konoe avoiding eye contact and the sound of the leaves tumbling with the wind were the only signs of life. “You picked me, you know.” Rai said unamused by his Sanga’s lack of engagement. The more this went on the more it was feeling like a waste of time.

“Like you didn’t come here hoping to get me.” Konoe finally looked up.

“I came here for a Sanga and you were the offering.” Another prolonged silence,

“Let’s walk.”

“Sure, whatever.” _Like you have a choice, I’m a prince!_ Konoe lead the charge and they came to a wall. Rai made a face, “Are you lost in your own home?”

“No, I know what I’m doing! Don’t question me!” Konoe snapped as he pushed in a rock and a small door open like some fairytale shit. Rai made another displeased face, Konoe rolled his eyes and crawled through the small door,

“You expect me to crawl?” Rai didn’t understand the purpose.

“Follow me or don’t.” Konoe began to walk along a dirt path into the forestry patch next the castle. This was the park in the center of the city. It broke up the royal road in a required way. Rai was hesitant but caved to the ridiculousness of his Sanga and crawled through the hole. He brushed the dead leaves off himself and caught up with his Sanga rather effortless. Konoe spoke first again, “I know you have shit you want to ask me, so ask it.” Konoe was now puffing out his chest and playing big cat.

“Which one is your real dad?” Rai decided that was the most ‘light hearted’ of all his questions.

“Both.”

“No, stupid cat. Who is the one who knocked up your mother?” Konoe glared at him questioning his parents like this but decided it wasn’t that big of deal to tell Rai the truth.

“Dad, Shui, did.”  
“You’re lying, you look like the other one.”

“I didn’t finish, asshole.” Konoe hissed, “I was a stillborn and father Leaks gave me part of his essence to bring me back to life. A side effect of that is looking like him.” Rai still wasn’t satisfied,

“Then where the hell is your mother? Did she just give you up so those two could play love nest?” Rai was being flippant and Konoe growled at him,

“She fucking died giving birth to me. They are not playing, they are the only reason I’m alive and this country isn’t a shitshow.” Konoe was tired of this conversation. Shui and Leaks were annoying, but they were his parents and two of the few close to him. Konoe never felt left out for not having a mother, he had two doting parents. There was nothing a mother would have done that his two dads didn’t. “If you really want to know all about _my parents’_ marriage, fucking _ask them_. They will tell you.” With that the conversation was cut off. Rai realized that speaking about Konoe’s parents was too touchy and it wasn’t worth wrestling with. There was a stiff silence. The soft crunching of leaves beneath them, this was useless. “I can see why my father likes you.”

“What does that mean?” Rai kept his face forward.

“My father always wanted me to choose a Sanga like you. He didn’t prevent me from being with Asato, but I always knew his ideal for me was not him.” Rai didn’t know what to think about that, “He was dad’s ideal though, he was the one who brought us together. Asato never directly asked for me, but dad knew.” Rai was still silent; the words were a bitter nudge. Konoe was not subtle about this. Konoe looked at Rai, Rai wasn’t ugly. He was quite attractive in fact, but that didn’t matter. He held his body off from him.  
“I have never had a Sanga.” Rai said, though he didn’t think it mattered. Every Sanga he had met was different from each other. Romantic relationships were common, but familial ones were too. Often time you would see siblings or cousins being Sanga and Touga. It’s just that the ones that were the ‘ideal’ were the romantic ones. People wrote fictional epics about romances between Sanga and Touga.  

“Why not?” Konoe said with genuine curiosity.

“Never found one worth trying for.” Rai would never admit he used to gaze with envy at people who had Sangas. It was the most valuable thing one could have. 

“What makes you so picky?” Konoe made a face,

“I want quality, Konoe.”

“Oh, am I high quality to you?” Konoe grinned and it felt weird, he felt like he hadn’t smiled in years. Rai looked down at his Sanga,

“You’re the Prince’s son, it doesn’t really get much higher in rank than that.” Konoe’s face dropped. Of fucking course this was a power grab. Konoe was back to being sour faced. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? His Sanga flirts with him and he says that shit? Ugh.  

“I’m hungry, I’m going home.” Konoe made a sharp left turn in the park and darted away. It caught Rai off guard and he followed him, what the fuck? When Rai caught up with him he found him unlocking another passage door on the side of the walls surrounding the castle. Konoe was not paying attention and opened it, he then tries to shut it but Rai’s foot stopped him. He glared, “What the…?” Rai was much stronger than he anticipated, and he used the force of his leg to push Konoe off the other side of the door. It opened and Konoe used his hands to balance himself on the handle. Once the door was opened, Konoe felt the knob being ripped from his hands as Rai kicked the door closed. “What the hell was that?” Konoe shook his hands,

“You really think I’m going to just let you walk away after you’ve barely spent time with me?” Rai put his hand on his hip.

“Maybe I don’t want to spend more time with you.”

“Why not?” Rai crinkled his face, he didn’t understand what the fuck Konoe’s deal was. It was the middle of day, why was he rushing Rai out? Konoe put out his hands like it was obvious, when it wasn’t.  
 “Because we don’t need to be together every second of every day.” It sounded so stupid Rai mentally laughed. He looked Konoe up and down,

“Let me eat lunch with you.” Rai commanded, he was going to have to force his Sanga to get used to being with him. Konoe was insane if he thought Rai wasn’t going to be around constantly, even if they did not up becoming lovers.

“This is my castle not yours.” Konoe said defiantly,

“And you chose me as your Touga. You aren’t the only fucking unpaired Sanga, I am strong, and I will request Prince Shui for another Sanga. Either you sit with your decision or dismiss me and stop wasting my time.” Rai’s glare was intense. Konoe was lovely to look at and they were matched well in battle. But Rai would not put up with this shit for all the royal gowns and fine cat ass in the world. Konoe didn’t think he’d ever met someone who spoke to him that way that wasn’t his father Leaks. He had to think about this, losing Rai would mean settling for a possible weaker, less attractive Sanga. It also meant he would never hear the end of it from his parents. He considered for a few minutes before sighing,

“Fine. Come on, they’ll make you anything you want.”

* * *

 

The lunch of fried nuts and fish was quiet, Konoe fiddled with the portrait locket in his pocket. He was trying to achieve comfort, Rai had sat purposely close. Rai did notice the hand in the pocket but decided that could wait until a better time. He was sure it was something Konoe wouldn’t be open about anyway. He was vague on the details of his former Touga: Asato. It wasn’t helpful to Rai at all, how could he ever even try to reason with Konoe if he didn’t know the spirit he was up against. All these thoughts were interrupted when Leaks came into the room. Konoe groaned, not wanting to deal with him.

“Your dad says he’s having a royal dinner tomorrow to celebrate you having found a new Touga.” Leaks ate a bite directly off Konoe’s plate.

“Isn’t it a little early for that?” Konoe questioned,

“No. It will keep you in check, Konoe.” Leaks looked to Rai and then back to Konoe, “We know how much you will ache your new Touga’s soul. I think it is important that everyone know who he is, so they will respect him.” Rai nodded, he very much wanted that.

“What so when I get rid of him it’ll be a public shame?” Konoe let out a bitter chuckled and Rai made a face. _Disposable._ Rai suppressed the thought. Konoe looked over at Rai, “What did you think I was going to keep you forever? Maybe my dad will write you a sad song—” Leaks hissed at his son and turned his ears down,

“Shut the fuck up! Stop it!” He put his hands on the table and got in his son’s face, making sure their eyes locked. “You will be his fucking Sanga. You will come to your dad’s party and parade him around. You will be a good Sanga to him and try to make it work or I will remove your Sanga powers until further notice. Understand?” Konoe felt intimidated, Leaks was pissed. Konoe nodded and put his head down. Leaks then pivoted on his feet towards the door. “Rai, come with me. I have something for you.” Rai stood and left his broken spirit Sanga to live with his decisions. He followed Leaks in silence down the hallway and then up a floor. Leaks stopped at the 3rd door in the hallway and opened it with a soft click.

It was a room that was mostly empty expect for a sewing table and some rolled up fabrics. Leaks disappeared into a sliding door on the left side of the room and came back out with a garb. He hung it up from a blunt hook neck to the sewing stuff. Rai took it in. It was a royal suit. It was dark blue with black ruffles on the neck. It was detailed along the collar and sleeves with silver thread woven into the shape of tiny flower vines.

“You will wear this. It wasn’t made for you, it was Asato’s. But you are about the same as him, so it should fit and if it doesn’t: I’ll fix it right here.” Rai must have looked confused because Leaks spoke again, “Go into that room and try it on.” He pointed at the door he just came from, Rai grabbed the garment and went in the room to put it on. To his disbelief, it fit like a glove. Well, maybe the pants were a little short. He came out and instantly wondered why he was following this Leaks orders at all. Leaks looked at him, observing every inch. He snapped his fingers a little and whispered something, the suit fit better, actually perfect. Rai looked at himself. He had to admit, he looked good in it. But it obviously made with someone else in mind, finally he spoke,

“Why do I need to wear his dead Touga’s clothes?” Leaks fired back, not bothering to look up from his adjustments.

“Konoe needs to see you as his Touga and by filling Asato’s clothes, it can make it clear in his mind that his Touga is Rai. He needs to associate you with being his Touga and this is the best way to do it.” Rai found it a bit weird that Leaks kept referring to Konoe’s former Touga by his name. Then again it wasn’t so weird if he was Konoe’s husband. “Do you like it?”  
“Do I have a choice if I want to keep you happy?”

“No. Do not view this as appeasing me but rather…” Leaks looked up from his work with satisfaction, “A necessary step to getting Konoe to want you romantically.” Rai made a face of discontent, Leaks smirked, “Your outer shell does not fool me.” Leaks turned and began to walk out. “Take that thing off but take it with you. Go home and get some rest. You’ll need it.”

* * *

 

 Konoe was sitting in one of his suits at the royal table. It fit his body. He had on black pants, black undershirt and a dark turquoise waistcoat with tiny crystals sewn into the sleeves and collar. He opted out of his crown for the night. His parents were sitting on the left far side from him. Shui was in red pants and a red beaded vest with a gold undershirt. Leaks was in a similar outfit, expect it was all black with a long tail coat. Shui was wearing the traditional Prince Sanga crown of gold and Leaks was wearing a smaller silver one that was made for him. Shui was holding his husband’s hand and watching for Rai. The door was open in the main lobby, but this room was for Sangas and Tougas only. There many different Sangas and Tougas, in many different types of garbs. In the moderate levels of noise, confident steps sounded. Even though no one quieted themselves, Konoe’s ears honed on the steps and he turned his head.

He saw Rai dressed in Asato’s clothes.

 He glared and then looked at his father before standing up. He rushed over to Rai and pulled him out into an empty hallway.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Konoe gestured to Asato’s clothes,

“Your father gave them to me.” Rai said dryly, Konoe believed him because how else would Rai have gotten the suit?

“Do you know who’s that is?”

“Mine now.” Konoe chuckled and rolled his eyes, this was perfect. So perfect.

“Oh yeah, you and I both know that belongs to Asato.”  
“Your father gave it to me.” Rai was being stony about the issue and brushing Konoe off. He would get over this. Konoe didn’t know what to think about this, but he weirdly wasn’t mad at Rai. He grabbed Rai’s hand back into the main area,

“I’ll deal with this, later. Not with you, though.” Now people were looking, but they said nothing. Konoe and Rai sat next to each other. People were stealing glances at them.

“Now or later, Rai?” Shui spoke,

“Now is fine.” Shui stood up,  
“Everyone! As you may have noticed, we are here to celebrate Konoe choosing his new Touga: Rai!” Shui clapped and everyone only followed because they were ass kissers. Everyone took a look at Rai and then went back to requesting drinks. Konoe shot a glare at Leaks and Leaks acted like it didn’t happen. Dinner came and Rai ate dutifully next to Konoe. He was feeling good about this, he was content next to Konoe. The waitress came over and poured red wine into Rai’s goblet. But then he poured white into Konoe’s and he giggled,

“Red wine tastes horrible.” And Rai watched as Konoe swigged it down in one go, the waitress filled it again and walked away. Rai took a drink of the wine and on his tongue occurred two things: this wine was ice cold and highly alcoholic. He stuck his tongue out and put his head down. He could drink it but it shocked him. Konoe looked at Rai and started giggling, “What are you doing?” Rai shot back up and took a sip of wine with confidence.

“I’m fine.” Konoe drank half of his wine as he and Rai were delivered with personal sized princess cakes. They were cute, white and blue with small edible pearls on top. Rai couldn’t remember the last time he ate cake. The wine was loosening him up and he took the small fork. He ate it carefully, Konoe had less grace. He got some of the frosting on his face, “Hey.” Konoe looked over and Rai licked the frosting off his face. Konoe groaned and half heartily pushed Rai aside. He finished his wine and his mind was getting foggy. Leaks stopped the wine because Shui was becoming similarly intoxicated. Konoe meowed loudly and put his hand on Rai’s thigh as he becoming dizzy. “What the hell, you still meow?”  
“Stop yelling, I’m pink.” Rai then half smiled at Konoe, he was such a lightweight. Konoe then looked up with a flushed face and Rai’s heart did a skip. He suddenly stood up and Konoe fell to the floor.

“I think I need to go.” Rai suddenly breathing heavy, Konoe launched himself up directly off the floor and Rai was forced to catch him. He put his arms around the Sanga.

“No, nooooooooooooo.” Konoe grabbed onto Rai like the only thing between life and death. Rai looked to Konoe’s parents, only to discover they had vanished. Konoe put his head against Rai’s chest while he composed himself. A female Sanga approached them and smiled at them warmly,

 “You two are so cute! It’s so nice to see our beloved Konoe has found someone to care for him.”

“Yes, I love Asato.” Konoe mumbled. The Sanga’s face dropped, and she looked at Rai before awkwardly walking away. Rai was denying the fact that it hurt. Rai decided that Konoe needed to lay down,

“Let’s go to your room.”  
“Isn’t our room?” Konoe purred and tugged at the suit. Rai played along and let Konoe drunkenly led him to his room. Konoe pulled the key out of his pocket and fumbled for a minute before Rai censed it from him. “You don’t need to do that.” Rai ignored him and opened the door, Konoe was using the door for support and fell forward again. Rai picked up him and placed him on the bed. “I’m so hot.” Rai got him down to his underwear and undershirt. Konoe turned his head to Rai and looked at him like he was magic. “You are dead, aren’t you?” Konoe’s voice was soft.

“No, I am Rai.” Konoe’s face became sad and he sighed, his eyes closing.

“Aren’t you going to take me?” Konoe asked and Rai was shocked at the question. He was not intending for this to go this direction. Konoe touched Rai’s face, “You’re pretty, don’t you want your Sanga to love you?” Rai thought he was losing his mind. Konoe was drunk, he wasn’t going to do this. Konoe was confused as to who Rai even was right now. Rai left the room, he caught a passing maid by the arm and requested a cup of water. She came in a hurry and he placed the water on Konoe’s night stand. Konoe turned and saw someone wearing Asato’s clothing, he purred instinctively. Rai pulled the sheets out from under Konoe and tried to put them over his Sanga. He was stopped by Konoe sitting up suddenly and was wobbling, “What are you doing? Oh man…” Konoe fell right back down and had to catch his breath.

“Lay down, you’re fucked up.” Rai was trying to keep his shit together. Konoe was rubbing his face against Rai’s neck and to say it was distracting was an understatement. He felt himself getting turned on when Konoe licked him and pulled away with a jerk. Konoe flicked his tail, not understanding why his Touga wouldn’t want to have sex.

“What is your problem, Asato?” Konoe said thoughtlessly, “Asato, I have something to tell you.” Rai’s ears turned and he froze as Konoe spoke, “I have a new Touga, but he’s not like you. He’s like Shiki, that asshole that tried to force himself on Akira. Yeah, I know, wild that he thinks he could be the royal Touga.” Rai looked up to see the painting of Asato and Konoe above, the words rattled through him. The message was not just Konoe grandstanding. Even though Konoe was still awake, Rai bolted from the room and slammed the door. Konoe drunkenly wept after the door closed.


	4. Chipped Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiki's bitterness is revealed. How Nano became part of Leaks and Shui's court is also revealed. Rai accepts his position in Konoe's life. TW: Pedophilia. Gore Mention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pedophilia and gore. Be warned, there is a very heavy flashback.

 

 Having sex with Mana had been a mistake. Rai was distressed, and he was almost instant in his regret. He had to think about Konoe to get it up for her, that made it exponentially worse. He might as well have stuck his dick in a smooth tree hole. She was being cold, and he was grateful. He pretended to be asleep. Despite last night’s awkwardness, he was repressing the urge to dart back to Konoe. He was thinking that if he were to fall for Konoe, he would have a serious problem on his hands. Konoe flat out would never love him back. Some might say it was premature for that type of thinking. But Leaks had gotten in his head so much about the issue that he had no choice but to think about it. 

“I heard you’re Touga to the brat.” Mana spoke, interrupting his thoughts.

“His name is Konoe.” Rai didn’t open his eye.

“You know he’s into other male cats, right? Why would he want a straight guy…unless you aren’t so straight?” Rai sighed,

“Why the hell does it matter if I’m ‘straight’ or not? With the Prince being married to another male cat, it literally couldn’t matter less.” Rai thought that it should matter to her the least. She wasn’t a good girlfriend and they weren’t in love. Why did she care if he were to fall in love with another guy? That she would miss out on sex with Rai? It’s not like their sex was really all that good anyways.

“Because you’re mine.” Rai sat up and glared at her.

“I would pick Konoe over you for anything, anywhere.” When Rai said that, he meant it. As much of a pain as Konoe was, he was more worth it than she would ever be. She sneered,

“Are you breaking up with me? If you do that you won’t get fucked ever again because that brat will never want you and every female will avoid you because you are attached to him.” She said arrogantly, and Rai knew she was probably right. 

“Whatever the hell you want, Mana.” Rai brushed her off and she smiled wickedly as she climbed out of bed.

“You have a big dick, so I will stay for now. I’m not fucking anyone else, even though you think I am. The offer is tempting, but you’re a bitch.” She got up and left, Rai laid back down. A few minutes later Shiki came in and started almost yelling,

“You’re the fucking royal Touga now? Where the hell is my piece, asshole?” Rai shot up out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants with haste.  
“What the fuck are you so angry about?”

“You know exactly what the fuck I am on about. We are in this shit together and you have to satisfy me.” Rai look at the flared up Shiki with a recalled memory. Shiki had remembered how Leaks refused to be a mentor to him. Shiki wanted to be a Touga but Leaks forcefully denounced and banished him from the royal circle. Shiki had never wanted Konoe and he still didn’t. He had simply wanted a Sanga period, but had begun lusting after the quarter black magic cat Akira somewhere along the way. That was another reason Leaks refused to make him a Touga, Shiki had no interest in the Sangas when he was presented with them. He was hyper focused on Akira and Leaks was having none of that. 

 “I can’t make Leaks not hate you.” Shiki took a deep breath,

“That’s why you’re going to fucking make it clear we’re a package deal.” Rai glared him, Konoe already was having enough of a time without Shiki being nosy. Not to mention he wouldn’t put it past Shiki to try and use Konoe to get to Akira.

“Why the fuck should I do that? Konoe is my Sanga.” Shiki struck Rai across the face and Rai smacked him right back. After the breather, Shiki growled but stood back. “What is it you want from me anyways?”

“I want you to convince them to give Akira to me.”

“Not on Nano’s life, he’ll kill you for him.” Shiki hissed, and his tail curled at the mention of Nano’s name. Rai was either lucky or unlucky in this way. He was the only one Shiki felt comfortable being this emotional with. Akira was under royal protection via Konoe’s request from Leaks. Shiki was not even allowed around him. Leaks had explained in court that it was due a mated pair law. When Shiki argued they weren’t even married, Akira filed for an official mate ship marriage recognition the next day. It had been a grueling court battle than Akira won. The trade off was he had to officially up his romantic autonomy in trade for being guarded by Shui and Leaks. This technically met they could chose a mate for him, but of course they didn’t do that. They were really only known to do that when they were requested to by the person. This method of having Shui chose their match was only really enacted by the truly desperate. Shui had yet to fail at finding some unlucky bastard a mate though. 

 “Then I’ll kill Nano for him.” Shiki said quietly,

“You think Akira is going to want you after you’ve murdered his mate?” Shiki gave Rai a maniacal grin,

“I’ll handle it, I will do whatever it takes. You just get that court order thrown out, got it?”

“Yeah sure whatever.” Rai was so fucking annoyed with Shiki at this point that he just wanted him to go away. This Akira drama was of little interest to him, he didn’t care about Shiki’s blue balls. Shiki was his adoptive brother, but Akira was his friend too. And if he had to be honest, if Konoe made him chose…He’d be hosting Nano and Akira’s vow renewal.

* * *

 

 Konoe hadn’t seen his Touga for a few days and he was getting itchy. Why did he care if Rai bailed? His parents were quiet on the matter, maybe it was because it was their 15th wedding anniversary was soon. Konoe was only leaving his room to exercise and eat. He was terribly depressed on the matter. He heard a knock at his door, a soft knock. It must have been dad, the door then creaked open. He had a worried expression,

“Konoe, where is Rai?” Konoe flicked his tail and looked down,

“I don’t know.” Shui sat on his son’s bed next to him.

“He’ll be back.”

“What if he isn’t? Are you and father going to punish me by looking at more Tougas?” Konoe said crankily.

“No, I think he’s going to come back. He’s just a bit shaken because he isn’t used to our lifestyle.” Shui said lightly. He saw that look in Rai’s eyes at dinner those nights ago, there was the seedlings of attraction and love in them. Shui wasn’t surprised, his baby boy was cute like his father. 

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because when I met your dad he was the most difficult person I’d ever encountered, and I was weak then, yet still loved him. Rai is much stronger, he can handle you. He is coming back, he likes you.” Shui purred and touched tails with his son. Konoe wouldn’t say out loud that having Shui be gentle was comforting him. Shui needed Konoe to say no words, he was savvy to the heart without the burden of poetry. Konoe hated asking questions because he knew his dad loved his father very much and could never resist being sappy. But he had to know,

“Did you always know Father was the one for you?” Shui looked off into blank space for a moment, a gentle and dreamy smile coming onto his face. He began to speak once more,

“No, I didn’t, and I still don’t.” Konoe watched his dad carefully and Shui’s eyes returned his son’s face. “Because there is no such thing as the one, your father is right about that.” Shui had realized with a heavy heart that soulmates didn’t exist when Asato died. Shui had loved Asato like his own and he had been thrilled when Konoe wanted him as Touga. Shui had been so sure that Asato and Konoe were soulmates, given their unusual, yet similar circumstances. When Shui saw the universe violently rip them apart so young, he come to realize that his husband wasn’t jaded or unloving. He was just plain right; true love does exist, but you aren’t met to truly love one person for your whole life. People do it, but Leaks is also right when he says it’s a mistake for the most part. Shui remembered when he married Konoe’s mother and how everyone, including himself, was convinced they were made for each other. He’d even wrote it in his vows. Shui honestly didn’t know why he had held onto the idea of soulmates for so long. He should have realized that was nonsense the moment his ‘different sex only’ self fell deeply in love with another man while married to a woman. “What you should be asking me is if I knew I had found true love. Now that does exist. The answer is still no, I didn’t know right away. But let us remember how your father and I met. My gravitation towards the man who saved my life could not be ignored.” Konoe was thinking and Shui grabbed his son’s hand. He made eye contact with his son, “You will not know if Rai is true and the Touga for you for a bit. You must give him time.”

“What happens if your judgement is off?” Konoe said with mild panic in his

“No worrying about me. There is one thing that true above all else: You must trust your Touga no matter what. Love, life, death, and all in between. He is the one thing that is true: doubt him and you become the weight that burdens him instead of the glass wine he drinks to relieve himself. He is the key and you are the lock. Give him a purpose and let that purpose be the preservation of love.” Konoe understood wholly and he touched heads with his dad.

* * *

 

  _Konoe and his friends were only about 8 season cycles old when it happened. But it was still a vivid memory for them all :_ _Shui walked into the student meeting room to find a young cat, aged about 14 season cycles, or so sitting next to his husband. The young male had light brown hair and eyes that sucked Shui in so much he had to remember to breath. Leaks looked to Shui and spoke._

 **_“Konoe, Keisuke and Akira saw Nano here having sex with that student facility member Emma.”_ ** _Shui looked at Leaks in horror as he processed what his husband had just said. He then gazed at the young man, how old was that Emma? Surely far too old for Nano. His son had witnessed one of his school’s staff having sex with a student. That’s when Shui wondered,_

 **_“Where are they now?”_ ** _Leaks gestured to the door,_

 **_“They are with Kaltz.”_ ** _Shui breathed out a sigh of relief, they didn’t need to hear this conversation._

 **_“How are we going to punish him?”_ ** _Leaks glared at his husband,_

 **_“Punish him? He’s a teenager and she’s a grown woman. Nothing is going to happen him; the question is how do I deal with her?”_ ** _Shui was confused, Nano was the man…_

 **_“But he’s the guy…”_ ** _Leaks stood up and Shui knew his husband was angry. Really angry, true rage boiling inside of him._

 **_“I don’t care what gender he is, he’s a fucking child and she is an adult.”_ ** _Shui shut his mouth, afraid to say anymore wrong things. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he trusted his husband to make the right call. To fully comprehend what was going on. Shui sat across from the young cat known as Nano. The teenager seemed unphased, but then again, he might not be able to understand the full scope of this event. He and Nano were in agreement, the same ignorant wavelength. Leaks was pacing, Shui heard Akira make a soft sound at Konoe and Konoe make a pounce at him. They didn’t realize either. Everyone who wasn’t Leaks didn’t understand what was happening. They would all have to follow him loyally. This was a critical test for Shui, he needed to trust his Touga totally and absolutely. **“The board will never discard her because all those idiots are lusting after her. They disregard me because I am married to a man, as if sexual attraction should have anything to do with it. The bloody king ogles her too, so it’s not like I just use my power…”** Leaks looked to Nano who was sullen, **“I know what must be done. Shui, you mustn’t follow me.”**_

_Leaks vanished without another word and Shui looked to Nano who was confused. Shui offered to make him a room in the castle for the night. Nano nodded and Shui told Kaltz before leading Nano to the castle. He gave Nano the best room he could find and whatever meal he wanted. Shui felt utterly helpless, this was all he could do for Nano. Kaltz came by with Konoe a short while later, Shui was too exhausted to ask about Keisuke and Akira. That would have to wait, he put Konoe to bed and his own bed felt extra lonely without Leaks._

_\-----------_

_Leaks had tortured Emma to death. He strangled her, stabbed her in her reproductive organs, marred her face, ripped flesh off of her…her body was a bloody, mangled mess when she was found. Shui got some blood on his face and he had to hold back his shriek. Leaks had left half of her face untouched, so they would know who it was when they found the body. Shui was one of the horrified onlookers as they pulled her out of the tree Leaks had strung her from, her intestines fell out and they were forced to stuff them haphazardly back inside the empty cavity. Nobody had know Leaks had done it, some suspected though. Nano stood there beside Shui, his expression as cold and unemotive as before. Shui touched Nano’s ears and when the boy turned to Shui he started to faintly purr._

_**“You’re not like others are you, Nano?”** Nano pressed up against Shui like the boy had never had a kind touch in his life. Shui comforted him like he did Konoe, Nano’s purring being audible. Shui didn’t understand why this cat was so happy right now, he chose to not question it. **“You can come and go from my home as you like, alright?”** He petted Nano for a bit as he watched his rapist’s body being examined. _

_Once word got out that she was assaulting the teenage boys at the school, nobody bothered to look for her killer. It was ruled a ritualistic killing and she was thrown into a grave with only a stone as a marker.  Shui walked home in shock, the blood gone from his face. When he came home he saw Leaks sitting on their bed, his face a mix of emotions. He darted up and kissed Shui hard. It was tight, and Leaks pulled away,_

**_“I love you.”_ ** _Leaks said softly and normally Shui would have happily accepted this token. But today was not a normal day and there was a long pause._

 **_“I follow my Touga through rain of fire and ice. I follow him no matter the price…”_ ** _Shui muttered, his expression drained as he turned around and left Leaks alone once more. Leaks felt his heart drop._

* * *

 

 Konoe woke up and when he opened his curtain he found that Rai was waiting outside. The guy was looking directly up into the window, they made eye contact and Konoe didn’t move because he was already fully dressed. He was wondering what his Touga was thinking. He turned and had to stop himself from running out there. He was having trouble admitting that he was excitable because he had been _worried._

“Where the hell have you been?” Rai glared at him and fired back rapidly,

“Why the fuck would I be anxious to return to you after you sat there and drunkenly called me by your dead Touga’s name?” Konoe was stunned into silence. Rai wouldn’t admit it, but he was hurt, Konoe could tell. The Sanga felt bad, he put his head down. His façade suddenly going away.

“I am sorry about that, it was the suit.” Now Rai was stunned, Konoe’s tone was soft and sincere. Konoe looked up back at his Touga, they engaged a gaze and there was a silent agreement to let it go. “What are we doing today?”

“Training.” With that Konoe silently followed him into the training arena behind the castle. They began mock battle and it went on for a while. Was Konoe having fun? No. This was more chore-like, a necessary thing. Konoe was being monotonous and so was Rai. They were cogs kissing, sterile and unfeeling, but harmonious.  Before Konoe knew it, he saw the sky began to darken. Konoe stopped and his breathing was heavy, his ears back as he heaved. Rai was catching his breath too, but in a much calmer and collected way. When a few moments had passed when Konoe looked to his Touga, a good 6 feet between them.

“You should be going.” Konoe picked up his dropped sword and point to the door, Rai was about to oblige when Shui came darting out of fucking nowhere. Konoe yelped in surprise and Rai smiled for a brief moment because it was cute.

 “Stay here for the night.”

“Why?” Konoe said lowly, Shui winked at his son.

“Stay here, Rai, there is another royal chamber with a giant bed that isn’t mine or Konoe’s!” Konoe cut him off

“Dad… just let him go home.”

“No, I think Rai would rather stay here with his beautiful Sanga, isn’t that right, Rai?” Shui smiled nervously and nodded. Rai could not deny that the idea of staying in a royal bedroom with Konoe sounded really appealing.

“I do.” Shui clapped and Konoe realized he was outnumbered. They all followed the Prince like the piped piper into the castle. They traveled to a smaller dining room and there was food already sitting there. Konoe glared at his dad, but Shui didn’t care. “Oh, Leaks and I will leave you two alone to eat together.” The door slammed shut, Konoe and Rai looked at each other, taking opposite ends of the table. There was feast of fanciful fish, cooked nuts and vegetables, kuims in the center. To make it worse they were candles arranged on the table. They ate in silence until Konoe couldn’t take in anymore. He slammed his knife into the table. The tremble of the candles making Rai weary.

“What the fuck?!” Konoe grabbed the knife and pointed at Rai,

“Stop it, you don’t want to light your home on fire.” Konoe growled,

“What the fuck is your game right now, you set this up? What do you want, sex? No fucking way am I giving you sex.” Rai ate a bite of fish and rolled his eyes at his Sanga,

“I didn’t set this up, you really are giving me too much credit. Who said anything about sex? You assume I want you like that.” He did, but he needed to put his Sanga on edge. Konoe sat back down and finished his dinner angrily. His huffy puffy face was cute. When they were done, Rai took the liberty of blowing out the candles and Konoe darted out the door first, he ran away down the left of the hallway. “Where are you going?! Take me to our room!” Konoe’s tail stood up on edge and he took a deep breath. He turned around and did the walk of shame with Rai trailing behind him all the way up to the chamber. Konoe choose to pretend he didn’t hear Shui giggling from a door they passed. Konoe opened the wooden doors to the chamber. It was grand. A bed with bloody red sheets and a matching velvet comforter. Ornate golden pillows and a sheer canopie. There were giant windows on each side with the drapes closed. The crystal chandler had been lit. There was a bedside table on either side of the bed a big closet to the left. Konoe threw his sword, shoes and anything that wasn’t his undershirt and underwear off.

“I am going to bath myself. Don’t look at me.” Konoe snatched a cloth off the rank and slammed the bathroom door shut. Soon Rai heard the water running, the pluming here was loud, probably due to the age of the castle. Rai took off everything expect for the bare needed as well. Konoe scrubbed himself raw with boiling water and realized he fucked himself by not bringing clothes in here. He put the towel around his waist and cracked open the door, “I need clothes, close your eye.” Rai snickered as he heard Konoe’s wet footsteps creep behind him and grab something from the closet. Konoe had his back to Rai so he picked over to see Konoe’s bare back before looking away again. “You can look again.” Konoe was now dressed in a silk set of black pajamas.

Konoe walked over and sniffed his Touga. His face wrinkled,

“What’s your problem?” Rai questioned, Konoe walked back over, grabbed the unused towel off the rack and threw it at Rai.

“Take a shower, sweaty.” Rai huffed but obeyed. It wasn’t such a tall order and maybe Konoe was right. Konoe turned his back as Rai became fully undressed and he fiddled with the window as he heard the water run once more. He then considered that he just set that cat in there without clothes as well. Konoe wondered if the clothes in the closet would find him. He realized they wouldn’t, and he would have to give him some of Asato’s things. He left the room and headed down to his bedroom, he begrudgingly took an old set of Asato’s sleep clothes out of the lower drawer of his bedside table. Rai was still in the bathroom when he got up there. He sighed in deep discontent. He didn’t want to give Rai anymore of Asato’s things, but he had been left with no choice and he was sure his parents wouldn’t care. Rai got out of the shower and for a brief moment Konoe saw him shirtless and wet. He spun around and covered his eyes,

“Ugh warn me!” He felt embarrassed and Rai shrugged it off.

“I thought you liked guys.” He said calmly and Konoe’s face was heating off.

“Not you.”

“Sure, that’s why your tail is curled.”

“Shut up and tell me when you are dressed.”

“Done.” Konoe turned and saw him Asato’s dark blue satin set. His heart sank about ten feet into the earth. He hated this. It was like he was hoping the set would magically transform this Touga into beautiful, dark skinned Asato. Inside he was still beholding albino furred, one-eyed and pale skinned Rai. He still had the eye patch on. “Is there a hair brush in this room?” Konoe nodded towards the bedside dresser on the right. Then laid down as Rai silently brushed his hair. When Rai was done he put the brush on the night stand. When he looked over at his Sanga, he was far away from him as possible. _Be like that_ Rai thought and Konoe clapped his hands, the room became dark. He thought about Konoe being magical as he sat there in the darkness for a few minutes. He heard Konoe snoring. He laid down in the center of the bed. Konoe could be weird about this all he wanted, but Rai wasn’t making comfort compromises.

* * *

 

 Rai woke up to the sound of Konoe softly whimpering and grasping one of the extra pillows. At first, he put his ears back in annoyance, but then realized the guy was still asleep. Why was he whimpering, Rai thought about waking him until he heard the dreaded murmurs about Asato. Rai thought about as he listened to Konoe’s deep sleep babbles about his dead husband. As he was thinking about this Konoe flipped over and Rai saw his red, hot face. His heart beat was loud in his ears and he sucked in sharply. Konoe looked so innocent and Rai felt this urge to protect him. He took as a normal thing, a Touga should want to protect his Sanga. Konoe began to breath hard and Rai wormed over to lick Konoe’s ears. He was pretty deep asleep, so he didn’t wake, but Rai did it until Konoe seemed to calm down. He pulled away to see Konoe put his face into his pillow. Rai thought about moving away from Konoe but decided to stay in close in case the whimpering started again.

It didn’t.


	5. Grilled Octopus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe go on a date but not really because I'll never love anyone gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to 4 am posting.

                

* * *

 

_There was Asato, staring at Konoe. There was a field of flowers which bloomed light. Everything seemed to follow the Touga as he walked. He seemed oblivious to Konoe. Konoe opened his mouth and attempted to yell his name. When no sound came out no matter how hard he tried, he began to cry in frustration silently. When Asato finally noticed, he turned. He had a beautiful red flower in hand, the same flower he had when they got married. Konoe reached out into the distance, begging for his Touga to come over. That’s when Asato seemed to look past Konoe and the crying got worse. Asato smiled and nodded his head behind Konoe._

**_“He wants to do what I can’t.”_ ** _Asato’s voice was so clear despite the large distance. As though he is saying it in his ear. Konoe was afraid to turn around, but was forced to when trying for Asato didn’t work. He turned and saw Rai right behind him. His heart skipped a beat. Konoe turned back and found Asato had vanished into the distance. He felt his chest hurting and that is when he felt gentle licks to ears. He crumbled to his feet, his back to Rai._

* * *

 

 

Konoe startled himself awake, looking over to see Rai was awake and waiting for him. Konoe glared,

“Why are we so close? Are you a perv who likes to watch me sleep? Shouldn’t you be gone?” Rai sighed in frustration, what the fuck even? Konoe has literally not even been awake for 5 minutes and he’s already going hard with his bullshit.

“I am not going to heard it from Leaks again if I try to escape another situation with you in it.” Konoe wrinkled his face and hoped out of bed, charging for the door. Rai sat up, “Where are you going?”

“To my room. Where my clothes are. Bye.” Konoe opened the door and slammed it shut. Rai flopped back down on the bed and realized that he had no clothes here. He would be forced to return. Shiki was going to mock him when he found that he hasn’t even as so much kissed Konoe. Rai took a few minutes to get composed so he could deal with this. That was when the door slowly creaked open and a gloved black hand appeared.

“Sir, this is not the time.” Leaks stepped into the room and threw some clothes on the bed. They were his clothes, several sets from his apartment and Rai instantly confused.   
“I got them from your apartment. You will be spending a lot of time here, so your shit has to be here too. I didn’t bring all of it because I still want you to wear some things that were once Asato’s.” What the fuck was Leaks’ deal? He was so aggressive for no reason. Rai sat up in the bed and scoffed,

“I am not going to become your son’s husband, so just give that pipeline dream back to the Prince.” He said defiantly, trying to figure out how he was going to lug all this bullshit back home.  He didn’t even want to get into how Leaks even got in his room without being detected by anyone. Leaks made a face and for the first time he seemed a bit lost for words.

“Yes, you are.” Rai made a sour face; what kind of fucking response was that?

“No, I am not. I know you think he’ll change, but he will never want me like that.” Leaks tapped his nails against the bed post,

“Yes, he will.” Leaks seemed to be running circles with himself on this one. He wanted so badly for his son to meet someone and finally be happy. Rai had to be it, he was perfect. He was stoic, strong, protective and kept Konoe grounded. As the silence grew eerie, Shui arrived in the room. Rai was feeling pressure for some reason.

“How is everything?” Shui smiled at both of them and Leaks made a stern face at his husband. Instead of Leaks trying to convince himself, Rai spoke,

“Listen here, Prince. I can be your son’s business Touga, but this romance shit is not going to work out. I am going back to my life in the city.” Rai stood up out of bed and picked out clothes to wear back home. He changed hastily as Shui gave Leaks a weary look. They were lost for words, they couldn’t technically make Rai stay, no matter how tempting it was. The King would never grant them such power and the public would have a bad taste about their matchmaking abilities. Rai pulled out the flat sheet from the bed and began to bundle his clothes inside of it. Shui grabbed his hand,

“Please, don’t go.” Rai shook off the Prince,

“The Prince has asked you to stay.” Leaks said it sternly, but Rai knew it was empty.

“I know the limitations of your power, I honor you both, but I am leaving.” Rai tied the sheet and put on his weaponry. He flung the bundle over his shoulder: “I’ll return your sheet in a few days.” Shui’s face was so sad and Leaks twined tails with him. Rai left the room and Shui turned to Leaks,

“I am helpless.” Leaks shook his head,

“We both are. Konoe is the only one who can change his mind.” They followed Rai out from a distance, no sign of Konoe. As they reached the second floor, Konoe came out of a room from doing god knows what. Leaks glared at his son,

“Your Touga is leaving.” Konoe saw Rai leaving with a sack,

“So?” Leaks fucking smacked his son across the face and Shui grabbed Leaks hand. Konoe gasped and made a swipe for his father. Shui grabbed his wrist with his free hand. The sound caught Rai’s attention enough for him to stop and listen with bent back ears. There was a glare off between father and son,

“Stop being such a pain, you picked him. If you don’t go, get him, and tell him that you don’t really want him to go. I will marry you off to a woman, you’ll impregnate her and give me a grandchild worth a damn.” Leaks knew Shui was going to make him pay for saying that later. But he didn’t have time to worry right now. Konoe touched his cheek and looked at Rai. He glared at his parents before dragging his feet to Rai.

“Where are you going? You’re my Touga.” Rai put his things down,

“That doesn’t seem to matter to you.”

“It does, stop this. Come have breakfast with me.” Konoe said, his tone softening again for some reason.

“Are you ready to fucking give me some respect?” Rai and Konoe made eye contact.

“Yes, you going is not gonna do either of us any good. We have to be together to make this work.” Rai accepted that answer and went to reach for his things on the ground. Konoe stopped him, “The housekeeping will carry it back up to room.” Rai accepted this before speaking,   
 

“I don’t require that you love me, Konoe. I am not here to replace Asato or anything else you might be thinking. I just need you to chill.” Konoe nodded his head and Shui let out a cry of relief. Leaks left the hallway and they walked past the crumbled to the floor prince silently.

 Konoe and Rai ate breakfast peacefully, for once there was no tension. When they finished it was Konoe who spoke first,

“Our friends are coming over later.” Konoe said standing up,

“Why?”

“We all are going to be in the meeting for my parents 15th anniversary. You’re coming too.” Konoe said dryly, it was preferable to his usual tone of seething hatred for life.

“What do we do until then?” Rai asked,

“Whatever you want.” There was pause from Rai as Konoe stood. Rai took a few seconds to admire Konoe’s body before refocusing. Konoe pretended like he didn’t notice the Touga lusting after him.

“We have something to discuss then.” Rai says, standing as well.

“What?”

“Shiki wants the restraining order lifted.” Rai was being so casual and Konoe shook his head.

“What? No.”

“He’s going to be a problem for me if he doesn’t get it.”

“I don’t care, if he comes near me you’re going to choose me.” Konoe says without an ounce of awareness of his own arrogance. Rai glared,

“What the fuck makes you so confident?”

“Because of who I am and what I am.” Rai was taken aback. He wasn’t used to someone being this ballsy with him. Rai walked past his Sanga,

“Don’t be so arrogant, looks bad on you.” Rai pushed open the door and Konoe followed,

“Because it looks great on you, right?!” Konoe caught up to his Touga as they made their way outside into the chilly air. “Ah fuck I need a coat.” He darted back in the house, snatched his black coat from the hook next the door and came right back out. Rai, despite his skin-tight clothes and exposed arms, look unaffected by the ice beneath their feet. “You’re insane.” Konoe said waiting for his coat to absorb his body heat. Rai turned on his heel and Konoe followed him dutifully. They left the palace grounds and Konoe realized that he hadn’t left the grounds in a ritual cycle. They walked along the road before Konoe started in again, “Where are we going?”

“Do you trust me?” Rai said without looking back.

“Why should I?”

“Because your parents wouldn’t let you go with me if I was bad.” Konoe couldn’t argue with the logic. He was right. Leaks and Shui were good judges of character. He decided to believe Rai and trust him, wherever they were going. Rai knew exactly where he was taking Konoe. He was taking him to Mana’s place of work: the bookstore. She was on duty and he wanted to show Konoe off, so the message was clear to her. _He’s number one now._ Konoe was right, Rai wouldn’t pick anyone over him. The silver cat was just not willing to admit to himself yet. Besides, Konoe looked cute with that fluffy hooded jacket on.

They approached the semi-rundown building filled with books and Rai held the door open just for a second more so Konoe would push through. This went unnoticed by the blond. The cashier stand was on the other side of the books. Rai opted to explore the stacks for a minute with his Sanga before starting shit.

“Why here?” Konoe probed, “You don’t seem like the type of guy to care about romance novels.”

“You don’t know me, stupid.” The comment was annoying and dumb to Rai,

“Oh, so you do like romance novels? My god, do you like girls?” Konoe said it like was an accusation.

“It doesn’t matter, stupid cat.” Rai said with an exhausted huff.

“I am really a guy, you know.” Konoe said, putting his hand on his hip and holding up a book titled ‘the sexual conquering of Cordelia’. What was this cat’s obsession with sexuality? Rai didn’t care what gender Konoe was, he couldn’t have made it clearer.

“I can see the lack of breasts and the bulge in your pants. I’m perfectly aware.” Konoe face turned red at the mention of his genitalia.

“Shut up.” Konoe said weakly, defeated by his Touga.

“No, you shut up. I know you’re a dude. You even fucking asked me, stupid cat. It’s not your dick, it’s your pissy attitude.” Konoe opened his mouth to refute but quickly realized he had nothing. Rai had been victorious in his taming of this brat for now. They moved to the next stack: magic.   


“Don’t buy anything from this section, ask Father.” Rai didn’t put up a fight with Konoe about this and instead opted to move to the next section. This section was about 3 rows away from the cash register and was marital help books. Oh, the irony. Konoe picked one up and skimmed through it. He stopped at one paragraph and pointed at it. “This is garbage.” Rai looked at Konoe for the follow-up. “It says that socially approved marriages are the best marriages. That is a lie.” Konoe slapped the book shut and wedged it under the book shelf. “There, no one will find that now.” A smile flickered across Rai’s face. There were things to like about Konoe after all. Konoe stood and turned to his Touga, “You ever been married?”

“Fuck no.” Rai made a face of utter disgust,

“Great, no heavy lifting for me.” Konoe’s tail curled in delight, he was happy that his Touga had no baggage. That was when he heard footsteps coming forward and his ears perked up. Mana turned the corner and Rai looked at her.

“Hello there, how can I help-“Her eyes landed on Konoe and her bewildered face brought Rai internal joy. She looked between them and Konoe stood beside Rai.

“We don’t need anything.” The playfulness in his voice was gone and Rai wanted it back, Mana needed to leave. She turned to Rai,

“I know.” She had a bite in her voice and she lingered too long because,

“I said we don’t need anything.” Nobody but knew it, but Konoe was weirded out the way this woman was looking at his Touga. He wanted her gone. She looked at Konoe and smirked before disappearing. Konoe turned to Rai, “I want to leave, I am hungry.”

“What do you want to eat?” Konoe cocked his head to the side,

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” Konoe thought about it,

“Something different.” Rai flicked his tail,

“You want broiled cow brains?” Konoe’s face twisted in disgust as Rai smirked a little. He was being fucked with and he was having none of this,

“Gross! Get real.” Konoe crossed his arms,

“Alright, you okay with grilled octopus?” Konoe was skeptical, but in comparison to the cow brains comment, it seemed fine.

“Fine.”

“Great because that’s the most expensive shit you’re getting from me.” Rai said as they headed to the door,

“Once they see me you won’t have to pay, let me deal with this.” The bell dinged as Rai opened the door and Konoe grumbled when his Touga didn’t hold it open for him.

“So, little brat is going to get out of paying restaurant workers?” Konoe trotted in front of Rai,

“Watch me.”

 

* * *

 

 The moment they arrived the gay waiter hosting the restaurant fawned over the beauty of Konoe. It was in a moment Rai knew this was going to be free to eat here. They were sat at the only cushioned booth in the place, the most expensive seat. The only lights in this place where different colored glass lights hanging above the tables. The one above this table was golden and made it Konoe look radiant. Rai tried to ignore the thoughts he was having because of the flattering lighting.

“What the fuck are you?”

“He was eyeing you too.” What Rai didn’t know was that Konoe was also denying some thoughts he was having. Even being washed out by this horrible gold light fixture, Rai was attractive. The waiter came back, giving Konoe his fruit drink bullshit and Rai some water. Rai took the intiative to order for his Sanga. Konoe thought about complaining but decided it wasn’t worth it. He took a sip of his drink and looked at his Touga,

“I’m not a baby you know.”

“Don’t pretend like you care because we both know you don’t.” Rai didn’t even bother looking at Konoe.

“I’m doing this to amuse you.”

“No, you’re doing to amuse your parents.” There was a sudden silence, it was true. Rai could be handsome as rare gems but didn’t make an ounce of difference in Konoe’s mind. His parents wanted him to amuse a Touga and this one’s face was the best, so here he was.

“What makes you so arrogant about me?” Rai finally looked Konoe in the eyes,

“Because you aren’t exactly a mystery, you’re not shy that I’m not good enough for you in your mind. Our food is coming.” It was perfect timing because Konoe was just thinking about how much this conversation sucks. The food was steaming when it came. The octopus came with rice, sauce and vegetable. Konoe slipped off his jacket and started plucking at it right away, realizing his was starving, but Rai seemed to not budge. Konoe popped a rubbery octopus’s arm into his mouth. The texture was strange but Konoe liked the taste.

“Eat, I’m not getting gawked at for no reason.” He gestured to Rai’s fork and the silver cat looked at it for a moment before touching one vegetable. It was hot and his tongue hated it. He opted to hold it in his mouth as to not let Konoe know about his weakness. But Konoe noticed after a few moments of silence from his Touga, “What—” Then Konoe’s face spread into a grin and a laugh escaped,

“Oh shit, you have that sensitive cat’s tongue? We finally found the thing that broke you, wait until dad hears about this.” Konoe ate some more and Rai fiercely glared at his Sanga.

“Tell anyone and I’ll cut your ear off.” Konoe stuck out his tongue,

“No, you won’t.” They went back to eating as Konoe basked in his minor victory over his Touga. When they finished, the asskissing waiter let them just walk out. The time had passed quickly because when they walked out it was twilight and Konoe shivered. They began the long walk back to the castle and Konoe’s teeth started to chatter as he pulled his jacket tight. Rai was pretending to not notice but seeing Konoe suffer made him soften. He held out his cloak. “What are you doing?” Konoe searched Rai for a reason but then shook his head, “You don’t have to impress me, I won’t tell my parents.”

“Nobody is looking.” Rai said and Konoe felt an intense chill run through him before he caved and pressed himself up against Rai. The Touga wrapped the cloak around his Sanga. The teeth chattering, and the chills stopped as they reached the gates of the castle. Where their friends were waiting. Akira being held by Nano, who’s expression was creepy in it’s calmness.  

“Ah I see, we were left out in the cold for this. I get it.” Akira bitched, and Nano rubbed his mate’s arm, Keisuke’s nose was red. The night was growing darker. Konoe got off Rai’s side with high levels of denial in his force. Konoe let them all in and didn’t see his parents.

“Holy fuck, I hate it when they decide to drop everything, so dad can flutter about father’s love.” Akira moaned, and Keisuke just said,

“Even if it doesn’t happen until morning, please let me stay in the castle. I can’t walk home in this, it’s so cold it’s hard to breath, Konoe.” Konoe pinched the bridge of his nose,

“Fine, Keisuke, the usual.” Keisuke darted with his tail straightened for the stairwell. Next came Nano and Akira’s turn:

“Us too, Konoe. You can think your parents for the food bill.” Rai was staring at Nano. This was Shiki’s archenemy? The guy looked like a strong breeze might get the better of him. He was shockingly pale and dead in expression. Rai interrupted Akira and Konoe arguing to say something about it,

“Why doesn’t your mate talk?” Akira’s attention turned to Rai and then his eyes soften briefly as they rested on Nano.

“Nano, do you have input for Rai?” What the fuck? He’d never heard Akira talk like that ever.

“You are not him.” Nano said in a chilling voice that Rai on edge. Yet he understood what it meant,

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Hurt Akira’s friends, you will regret it.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“If you do not learn.” Rai had instant regret getting Nano’s attention, what was in it for Akira? Rai could only imagine the sex was awesome for Akira to want this weirdo.

“So anyway, I’m going to go get warm.”

“No mating.” Konoe said, his fists clenching.

“Try telling that to him.” Nano’s lip curled slightly as he gazed at Akira and Konoe’s authority was instantly void. Akira and Nano disappeared into the stair well. Konoe turned to his Touga,

“You do whatever, I’m going go read.” Rai didn’t care if this was a lie or not, but Konoe was leaving either way. The moment the Sanga was gone, he turned on his heels and went outside. He was going home, he needed Shiki.


	6. The Synchronizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaks and Shui are perfect. Rai is afraid of being Konoe's Touga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it already chapter 6?

 

“I am not risking Konoe for you.” It happened, Konoe had won. He was right, Shiki glared at Rai from the couch,

“That brat will never fucking want you, you bitch. You’ll have to wear his dead Touga’s suit for him to even get it up for you.” Shiki said spitefully right back, waving Rai aside, “You are going fucking soft on me now?” Rai glared right back,

“This has nothing to do with feelings, I don’t have delusions the prick will ever ‘love’ me. This is about _power.”_ Rai said coldly, but deep down he knew that he did still have a nagging feeling. Sure, Konoe was mean, but Rai liked being around him for some reason. Shiki seemed to think before speaking before a smirk came on his face,

“Then don’t make your intentions known, throw them off the trail while I take charge of the situation.” It was so cocky and dumb Rai kept in his groan. Shiki was literally the only person who thought this was a big plot. Rai didn’t know Nano, but the guy was jarring as fuck and he wasn’t going to be the one to provoke whatever made his love of Akira true. Rai crossed his arms,

“Fucking fine. But I am not a willing partner anymore.”

“Ah but you are, you’re going to not say anything to that little homo flavored Sanga or I’ll tell Leaks that it was you that ended my real brother’s existence.” Rai looked at Shiki with a dilated eye that even his stern expression could not hide. Shiki stood and as he walked past Rai he leaned in, “To think big bad you was challenged by a tiny blond.” Shiki went in his room and Rai immediately made his way back to the castle, the snow was crunching beneath his feet and it was pitch black. Rai pretended like doing it with Konoe didn’t make him feel better. He reached the castle gates and went in. He sighed with relief at the dark, empty, warm hall. He didn’t know which room Konoe was in and he was probably asleep anyway. Rai felt his way through the darkness before a lantern from nowhere spooked him, Leaks’ face illuminated,

“What the fuck?” Rai groaned

“You inferred with my time regarding the shift of winter in spiritual form. But I’d knew you’d come back willingly. Come with me.” There was something oddly soft about Leaks’ voice, Rai was feeling very tired so he blindly followed Leaks. He assumed that since he wanted him and his son to be together so bad that he wouldn’t do any damage. But Rai did have a question,

“Is Shui here?”

“No, he sleeps very soon after the sun goes down. He likes to wake up and early to sing with the birds. I am a man of the moon.”

“That guy is like a fairy tale, I swear.” Rai said, not thinking about it.

“There is certainly no one else like him.” Leaks seemed happy to speak about his husband. Leaks couldn’t help it, Shui was like a fairytale. To fall in love with your woodland savior while still married to a woman and then for him to give you a child without your knowledge…these were things like a young Leaks could have only dream of. Their marriage was healthy, alive with intimacy, even after all these years. Leaks led Rai up and up to a room, he creaked open the door softly. It was Konoe’s room, there was the painting and a breathing lump on the bed. Leaks stopped Rai from stepping in, “Bless him and then return to me.” Rai seemed to know what that meant in that moment. He stepped forward and stared down at the sleeping Konoe, his face barely visible by lantern light. He thought of a ‘blessing’ Rai got down on his knees, he gave Konoe’s ears a few licks each and caressed his face briefly. He then stood and returned to Leaks, who then closed the door behind him. “They tell me my son is beautiful, it is I who gave that to him, his face originally belonged to me.” They walked down the hallway,

“So, are you his biological father?” Rai didn’t see Leaks being with a woman. Really, he didn’t see Leaks with anyone who wasn’t Shui.

“We are both his father in different ways. He has his father’s ears, all questions answered in good time.” Leaks led Rai back to the empty master bedroom upstairs and closed the door. Rai look a look at his stuff still bundled on the floor and stripped himself, he dove right into bed.

* * *

 

 Apparently, the singing with the birds shit Leaks mentioned wasn’t a lie because Rai was awakened by soft distant song playing. He rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep, but he then heard a pressure against his door. The shadow was small and then the door was softly opened. Rai pretended to be asleep as Konoe peaked his head in. The Sanga then tip toed in and got on his knees to watch Rai sleep. He could feel the smaller cat’s eyes on him. What the fuck was he doing? This went on for a little while until Rai felt Konoe’s hand touch his ear and then pull away fast. Rai didn’t know it, but Konoe had felt lonely sleeping last night. It appeared as though sleeping next to Rai had given him an appetite for intimacy once more. He was trying to sate a curiosity right now. Rai then heard Shui’s voice sing from somewhere in the woods,

 _“Let love be the mood of every day. Let our hearts never stray away.”_ Konoe and Rai were thinking the same thing: _real subtle, Shui._ Rai opened his eye and Konoe stood on his feet like that whole interaction didn’t play out the way it did.

“Breakfast, chew on some mint, your morning breath is horrendous.” Konoe said shortly as Rai noticed the jar of mint placed on the dresser. Konoe left the room as Rai chewed some mint and swallowed it. It burned, he should have spit it out. He changed into some casual wear and headed to the dining room. He found Keisuke, Akira and Nano all eating. He sat in the empty chair next to Konoe as he presented with a quall egg omelet, barley and oat honey toast, and Kuim juice to drink. He ate it knowing full well that it took like 4 quall eggs for one omelet and they weren’t cheap. Konoe started talking,

“Shiki’s onto you again, Akira.” Rai witnessed as something that was very clearly a glare graced Nano’s face. It was just as dark as Rai imagined. Akira sighed,

“I already legally recognized as royally ordained property to Nano, what more does he need?” Akira was annoyed, and he looked at Rai, “I want to make one thing clear to you: I don’t really care what you are, I won’t stop Nano.” Rai rolled his eye at Akira,

“I don’t really care what the fuck Shiki is up to. I have more important matters. I am staying the fuck out of it.” Konoe looked at Rai and felt his victory seep in, Konoe knew it. Only an idiot would pick Shiki over him. He curled his tail in satisfaction. Nano put his head on Akira’s shoulder. A low purr filled the room, something inside Rai chimed. Suddenly Nano’s love was obvious, the comfortable lull was dispelled by Shui’s voice,

“My children!”

“I’m not your child.” Akira said for some reason and Shui ignored him,

“Now that you are all here I wanted to ask your opinions!” Shui stood at the end of the table, “Leaks and I decided what the party is going to be, but I have decided to get him another ring. I was wondering what direction I should go.” Everyone except Rai knew this. Shui was pretending to address everyone, but in the end would only give a shit as to what Konoe thought. He began, “I have 3 options: an infinity ring of gold, a silver ring with small rubies in it engraved with an eternal love spell, or a ring made of obsidian that says my name on it.” Rai didn’t give a shit about this conversation so Konoe spoke up,

“The last one.” He said,

“Because the rubies are stupid for a man and I think Father would like your name more.” Shui nodded in agreement,

“The part is tonight! Oh Rai, don’t feel too much pressure. It is Leaks and I who are the center of attention tonight.” That was Shui for _don’t steal my thunder._ Rai was more than happy to give him what he wanted. “Don’t worry Nano.” He said in a reassuring tone, Shiki’s operation was exposed, and Rai didn’t even have to morally cave. It was all too fucked. Shui fluttered away and Rai looked at Konoe,  
“What is up with your dad?

“He thinks he and Father Leaks are princes in some sort of enchanted bullshit. Just ignore it.” Nano’s purrs filled the eating hall once again.

* * *

 

 Konoe and Rai were semi-casual. But Leaks and Shui were totally adorned in lavish outfits. Gold hung off of Shui in everyway possible, he even had a scarf woven of gold. There was a veil draped over his head A rich man’s hobo style. Leaks was different, his outfit was ornate, baroque and had a long cape that drug along the ground to match. Every design was made in silver and he wore a partial mask which barred the kingdom emblem on it. He only guessed it was Shui who highlight his cheek bones and lids with gold dust. He was sitting on his throne, while Shui sat below him, almost in a worship position. Rai was staring and having a vivid fantasy of himself and Konoe doing something similar in the distant future. Shui and Leaks were silent for a moment before Shui moved his head to be petted by Leaks. The room was not very bright, it was for moodiness.

“I did that with Asato on the night that he was crowned a royal Touga. It’s deeply spiritual, their language only spoken by them…” Everyone was admiring them and their love, well just Konoe and Rai mostly.  Shui moved so his head was laying on Leaks lap, “Concealing the face means blind trust and loyalty. They both must do it because they rely on each other.” Rai was quickly coming to the conclusion that the term ‘party’ was being used very loosely here. Nano, Keisuke and Akira were not allowed in here because they were not Sangas nor Tougas. 

 _“I follow my Touga through fire and ice, I follow him no matter the price.”_ Shui spoke softly in ancient Ribikia, making eye contact with Leaks and Konoe mouthed along. He was having intense feelings, love and admiration for his parents, the memory of Asato, but mostly….how powerful Rai’s presence was making him feel in this moment.

 _“You have the gift, I know the way. May the goddess strike me dead if I ever lead you astray.”_ There was intense energy in this room, Konoe was glad for the shadows hiding him and Rai. A chill made his tail curled, he wondered if Rai felt it too. Konoe remembered the words that his dad told him before he and Asato became a romantic pair:

_“The right Touga needs no material object to show his love, no potion for realization, no mighty battle or gesture to prove himself. His energy will flow through you and you will know that he is the one for you.”_

Shui offered Leaks the ring and removed his glove to reveal Leaks bare hands, putting the ring on before slipping back on the glove. Leaks grabbed Shui’s hand roughly, placing a ring into his hands and put a lease made of gold coins around his wrists. Shui grasped the ring with his left fist.

 _“Hold onto this as though it were our lives, prove you are worthy for me to take you once more.”_ Leaks commanded and Shui nodded, they then kissed and Konoe turned away. Him and Rai made eye contact, the energy was flowing. Konoe could ear his heart in his ears and Rai was confused. They slowly blinked at each other, then Konoe offered his hand. His heart was in control, the mind was dethroned as the flames flickered across his face. Rai was feeling the same and he took Konoe’s hand, he pulled Konoe in and grabbed the Sanga’s face. They kissed each other with passion as Leaks led the hypnotized Shui by the lease down off the throne. Both pairs of Sanga-Touga totally existing outside of the world. The spell that fallen over Konoe was broken when he heard the stone that covered the star well to the party room being moved. He gasped and shoved Rai away, Shui and Leaks disappeared into the darkness. Konoe glared,

“You fucking took advantage of me.”

“You wanted me to do it, you gave me every signal, why do you have to ruin everything?” Rai kicked himself, why had he kissed Konoe? Konoe look his Touga in the eye but had to look away as the effects of the ‘connection’ came back. Konoe fell to the floor to sit on his legs. He suddenly felt like weeping,

“What the fuck is the point of this anymore, Rai? I was going to grandstand but what just happened is the sign.”  
“What sign?”  
“You are my Touga. Asato is truly dead, it is you now.” Konoe was defeated as he cried out, “Is the submission even worth it, Rai? You only want me for the power. I can never be like my parents. My dreams are fucking dead.” Konoe curled up on the floor and everything inside Rai wanted to pick his Sanga back up. He looked down at the incredibly upset Konoe. Then the gears started to turn, did Konoe think Rai could never have feelings for him and that was why he was upset? Holy shit. “I suppose a power agreement is all we could ever be, but I don’t know if I can do it, Rai. I don’t know if I can take my Touga running around with whoever while I am sitting awaiting his call for battle. I am not free to be with anyone but my Touga because of the public embarrassment it would bring. But you can be with anyone… I used to have a nightmare where I saw Asato marrying someone else while I watched as nothing more than his accessory.” Konoe was having a complete and utter break down, a tear fell from his face, “Everything I have belongs to Father Leaks, he gave it all to me, even my life. My Touga is supposed to be in the one thing in this life that is really mine of my own accord. So, Rai, if you just want an accessory Sanga, leave me. My Touga is mine and only mine, call me a brat if you want, but I cannot share you with the world.” Rai was shocked this was happening. He flicked his tail and his face was sad with confusion. He sat down on the floor beside Konoe,

“Konoe, I can’t become yours just like that. But it’s worth the shot, I have nothing else worth living for.” Konoe put his hand out and touched Rai’s leg, giving it a squeeze,

“Fine, but if I catch you romancing someone else, I’ll kill you.” Rai felt relieved, before giving a slight smile that Konoe couldn’t see,

“You don’t need to worry.”

* * *

 

 Rai and Konoe came down to the main party where everyone were wearing a full mask. Shui was forbidden to look upon the faces of the guests nor did he know who they were. All of the cards were in Leaks’ hands. They were standing in the center of the room, Shui was then pulled down by the lease, the gold coins rattling. Leaks began to speak once more,

“He gets not the pleasure of touching me. For he has to prove that to have unconditional love and loyalty, my mere presence and grace of leadership should suffice him.” Shui looked miserable but was actually rolling in ecstasy; he felt so connected to his Touga and he felt himself the center of his Touga as well. Rai was confused as to why Leaks was not the one on the chain. Konoe quietly explained,

“When in battle Touga leads and us Sangas must blindly trust with total loyalty. The lease of gold represents the Touga’s special agreement to take all the responsibility of a Sanga. If the Sanga fails to trust unconditionally, like being unreasonably deviant or the Touga tugs too hard as such he breaks the chain; it means he is selfish and does not have a right to the Sanga’s adoration. When either happens the gold coins fall to the floor and all their work has been for nothing.” Shui sat and Leaks tugged gently on the lease. He was testing Shui, beckoning him to come forth, he sat in place. Again. Shui didn’t budge.

“I will prove to you until the end of time that my love knows more than the physical body.” Shui said with profound conviction.

“Do we have to wear masks?” Rai asked,

“No, we are the observers. Any Sanga and Touga can be chosen as observers, but obviously you and I would be the ones they pick.”

“So, you are saying I am your Touga now?” Rai said, teasing Konoe,

“Don’t get too big for your tight pants there.” Leaks lifted Shui up by standing above him and jerking the lease to so that Shui’s hands were forced above his head. The veil did not move, for it was pinned into place. As he rose to his feet he closed his eyes and turned his head to the side. The crowd was chattering quietly, but that room could have been a windowless torture chamber for all it mattered. Leaks was doing the ritual right, but it didn’t matter. This was symbolic, not literal.  Shui recalled the first few years they did this and how difficult it was for him, now he was older and was far more enjoyable. Leaks held up his hand and the crowd parted, they then moved through the parting. Konoe and Rai followed far behind into the next room. Rai was now figuring it out. The people at the party were decorations to the main event. He was glad that this particular ceremony had no real party entertainment. What Rai and Konoe didn’t know was that Leaks had noticed their kiss. This night was going much better than Leaks had planned, he couldn’t wait until the late evening when he and Shui would take turns mounting each other.

They went into a room that had a mock waterfall in it. It was a stream coming out of the wall and into a pool. The room was grey and there was a large window letting the moonlight in, Rai wondered how he had not noticed the sound of running water before. Shui sat on the ledge of the man made pond and Leaks spoke,

“Do you trust me to keep you safe in the stream?”

“Yes.” Shui stood and was led across the pond, then behind the stream. The sound of the water filled his ears as he passed behind the water fall. The discomfort of the bottom of his clothes getting wet were his suffering. He clenched his ring tight. Next would be Leaks turn to suffer, the final act before they departed into the woods. He stepped out of the pond, water dripping from the hem of his clothes. He stood a distance from Leaks,

“Now, is there something you would like to ask?” Leaks curled his tail, “Have I proven myself?” Shui asked, holding his hands up,

“Quod sic duo, pulchra.” Shui felt his face turn red as Leaks gestured downwards and he was instantly dry once more. Then they moved together, and Leaks removed the chain from around Shui’s wrists. He then took the ring and placed it on his hands. Shui was purring, Rai and Konoe’s tail bumped each other carelessly. Leak then kneeled and Shui fiddle with the lease, making the loop bigger before he put it around Leaks’ neck. Rai’s power fantasies were now being shattered,

“Wait, what?” Rai said and Konoe spoke,

“You are nothing without your Sanga.” It was a simple statement that told Rai everything he needed to know. Something strange was happening, he had been so damn sure he wanted a Sanga…now he had the ideal royal Sanga. He didn’t know if he was ready. He had been so wrapped up in himself and possession of a Sanga that he had not considered that he would have to surrender himself as well. Especially Konoe, who wanted to have Rai totally, likely as some sort of lover if the implication was correct. He looked down at Konoe who was witnessing as Leaks stood up and was led by Shui back into the main party area. Rai was considering him, it was a commitment. He had made so much progress he dared not say these things out loud. They all were back in the main party room where Shui spoke,

“He is useless without me, he must step aside and let me be the main event. I am his anchor.” Leaks was doing an odd gesture, he was holding his hands over his heart while staring at Shui. He was admiring his Sanga, Shui turned to his Touga, “Do you surrender to me?” His voice seemed to almost purr. Leaks closed his eyes as Shui approached him. The gold coins around Leaks neck were then pulled so tight they were painful and prevented him from using his voice. This would only last a few minutes, but I was agonizing nonetheless. “My voice is our voice, Leaks If you can endear this, I will unionize with you.” Shui kissed Leaks throat and even that was painful. The crowd watched in horror as Leaks took quick, shallow breaths and Rai could almost feel the pain himself. Shui began to sing and when the song was over, he relieved Leaks. The chain came off and Leaks gasped, Shui stroked his husband’s neck. Their hands came together to unravel the chain, once the loop was gone they grabbed each end of the string of gold coins. They wrapped it around each other once and held the remainder above their heads. They kissed, and everyone start clapping,

“We will now take each other. Goodbye.” The crowd parted, and petals were thrown as they departed. Rai and Konoe looked at each other, their tails were touching once more, and the electricity was returning.


	7. The Depths of the Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai finds himself for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi

                

 Rai and Konoe made their way to the room they had been sleeping in, there was a silence and Konoe was trying to find a way to break it. They had kissed and were touching tails all night, he’d even given Rai the full deal breakdown. They quietly undressed into night clothes, a guiding leaf was glowing on the dresser. The night was really chilly, and Rai looked to his Sanga. When Konoe looked into his eyes he could tell that his Touga was thinking something important that he was too afraid to say,

“What is your deal? You in love with Shui now too?” Konoe tried to make a joke but it fell flat as Rai sat on the other side of the bed. Rai was deep in thought, Konoe got into bed and laid down. Rai was considering telling Konoe he didn’t know about this but didn’t want to seem weak. He was conflicted, what was he so afraid of? He laid down beside his Sanga and rolled over to face him. Konoe flopped over as well, “What are you thinking about?”

“Do you want another kiss?” Rai thought if they made physical romantic contact again, it might help ease his worries. He needed to consult Leaks tomorrow. Konoe made a face and then thought about for a moment. He had liked it earlier, why wouldn’t he like it now? He closed his eyes in anticipation, though it took Rai a minute to figure out that it meant ‘yes’. He leaned over and softly pressed his lips against Konoe’s. It was so nice that it lasted a bit longer than Konoe was thinking it would. There was none of that feverous passion from earlier. _A goodnight kiss._  Rai pulled away and stared at Konoe. Fuck, that hadn’t fixed anything. Konoe didn’t catch the mood apparently because he attempted to snuggle closer to Rai. The silver cat moved back a little and Konoe made a confused face,

  
“Come here.” Konoe moved in again, attempting to put his face in Rai’s neck, the silver cat moved away again. Konoe huffed, “Fine, be like that, weirdo.” Konoe flipped over and fell asleep. Rai turned his back too. What the fuck? He’d been waiting for weeks to Konoe to give him that and yet he didn’t want it. Rai put his face in the pillow, trying to smother his thoughts.

* * *

 

 Rai woke up first and carefully put himself together enough to be able to sneak out of the room. When Konoe woke up he reached over and found the bed empty. He opened his eyes and saw he was alone, Rai had vanished. But why? Konoe was originally cranky that Rai was here and now he was upset because the silver cat was gone. Rai had been trying to slink up Konoe for weeks now and suddenly he was no show? Konoe did his morning routine while thinking about the meaning of all this. He walked out and started sniffing out his dad. He found him in throne area from last night, laying his head on the throne seat. God this looked so much different in the daylight. Shui sensed another person and looked to see his baby standing there, looking distressed.  
 “My baby boy come here.” Shui beckoned his son and Konoe flushed a little with embarrassment.

“Don’t call me that, dad.” He said as came to throne,

“You are my baby boy, you always will be.” Shui purred as he got on the throne, Konoe sat on the step below. Shui stroked his son’s ears and Konoe felt comforted even though he would never admit it.  “What is it?”

“Rai has vanished.” Konoe said dejected, Shui frowned,

“Why? You were making such good progress last night.” Konoe tilted his head towards his dad in surprise,

“You saw that?” Shui smiled wide,

“Of course, you are a symbol of my union with Leaks more than any ceremony could ever be. I am very proud of you, you have opened your heart to Rai.” Konoe sighed,

“He refused me for cuddling last night and now he has gone.” Shui thought about it, thinking back to his own frustrations with Leaks,

“Konoe, what you gave him last night was authentic and he is frightened. You know your father wasn’t always so keen about being a Touga. You were too young to remember our early struggles in our relationship.” Shui looked forward. He was remembering that in the beginning Leaks was struggling with another Touga that Shui was entertaining. It all came to a head when Leaks finally admitted he was insanely jealous of that Touga and spiteful that Shui hadn’t asked him. Konoe had been about 1 season cycle when that happened. “Rai hasn’t realized what it means to be a Touga yet.” Konoe stood up and threw up his hands,

“What is so difficult about this? He had nothing before me and I’m what he’s always wanted!” Shui understood Konoe’s frustration but did think he was overreacting a bit.

“I don’t get the impression he doesn’t want it, Konoe.” Shui said, trying to comfort his child. Konoe sat on his knees before his dad once more.

“Rai isn’t going anywhere if I don’t release him.” Leaks voice sounded, his hair damp from washing. Shui nodded and looked down at Konoe,

“We helped pick him so he’s not going anywhere without our shadow.” Leaks came behind Konoe, Konoe groaned knowing what was coming next.

“I told you he was the Touga for you.” Konoe turned his head up at Leaks,

“You don’t have to rub it in.” Leaks smiled proudly,

“I know my son and you have found a great Touga.” Konoe turned his body to his father,

“Then where has he gone?”

“He must come to terms with his newfound feelings and commitment; he be will back.” Konoe looked down at his hands and started petting his son again. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No.” Konoe grumbled, “Stop it.”

“I will never stop parenting you until the day I am cold in the ground.” Konoe felt a tongue against his ear, he yelped and stood up. Leaks winked at his son, hearing his Sanga stifle a laugh and Konoe fled for breakfast.

* * *

 

Rai was out in the woods cutting the branches off trees in frustration. Leaks had attempted to stop the escape but the young Touga was on the war path. He was having a hard time with his feelings. The way Konoe’s lips felt, the way he smelled…everything intoxicated Rai and brought out the animal. Konoe hadn’t witnessed the animal-like bloodlust he had when a kill was particularly gory. What did Konoe even see in Rai enough to fall in love, anyways? There was something Rai was thinking about, he wanted to know if Leaks could manipulate time or space. He wanted to see a vision of this Asato, he needed to know. Rai’s rampage against the woods was stopped by footsteps.

“I see all.” Leaks spoke,

“How did you know where I was?” Rai said, breathing heavy,

“You’re not too far removed from my own younger self.” Leaks look at his nails, “That and you smell like Konoe.” Rai sheathed his sword and sniffed his cloak. He did have the slight sweet musk of the smaller cat on him. Fuck, what had he gotten himself into? Rai turned,

“What is it?” Rai said shortly,

“I know what you are feeling, Rai. Is there anything I can do to ease the feelings?” Rai was confused,

“Isn’t this all part of my trial or some shit?”

“Yes and no. My trial was unnecessarily long because of my own stubbornness.” Rai crossed his arm,

“And what exactly could you do, oh Sage Mentor?” Rai said, the attitude oozing from his tone. Leaks face god dark,

“You are not half the fucking Touga I am, watch your tone. Do not let my son give you the wrong idea, you must respect me as the Grand Touga at all times.” Leaks said with sternness and aggression before calming down a bit. His fangs protruded a bit, “But as the Grand Touga, it is also my job to all I my power to help a struggling Touga through his pain.” Rai thought back to his desire from before,

“Is there anyway I can see this Asato? Time travel?” Leaks looked Rai up and down,  
“I cannot time travel, but I can open the portal to Konoe’s memories and let you see him. But why would you want such a thing, Rai?” Rai flicked his tail, suddenly nervous to get what he wanted.

“It would useful for me to understand my place.” Rai didn’t know a better way to phrase it. But Leaks was an intelligent man and understood the Touga’s desires.

“Come with me to a less...” Leaks kicked a fallen branch disinteresting like it was imposing on him, “Cluttered place.” He turned and started walking to the clearing that was close by. Rai followed, and Leaks got his knees in the middle of the field. He then gestured to Rai to lay down.

“Wait don’t you need herbs and crystals or some shit?” Leaks made a face,

“Konoe did not tell you? He looks like me because it is a piece of my essence which gifted him life upon his mother’s womb failure. We exist on the same plane physically and mentally, I can tap into him. I just choose not to.” Rai was surprised, but it made a hell of a lot of sense. Rai laid down beside Leaks. Rai closed his eye and heard Leaks say something in a language he didn’t understand. Then he felt his hand being grabbed by Leaks tightly. “Companion of the heart, please.” Leaks said quietly and then Rai felt himself being plummeted.

Down and down, into the darkness before suddenly the falling stopped. He was gently turned up right and he his feet were planted firmly in rolling hills of flowers. Everything was in soft focus and the air was wrapping around him like a cloud. He looked around, it seemed sweet and borderline heavenly. He saw Leaks right behind him. Rai didn’t see Konoe nor Asato. Leaks spoke, but his voice seemed to echo around, _“They will appear soon, this is a memory Konoe is fond of. There is another I will show you as well once we are done here.”_ That’s when Rai heard a sound and turned his ears.

There was Asato sitting close to Rai, where he hadn’t been before. Rai took a moment to absorb his essence. Those paintings did this cat no justice, in fact they showed little of who he really was. He had big blue eyes filled with innocence and pure emotions. He had brown skin with deeply textured muscles, battle scars were everywhere on this cat’s body. His face was so much more masculine and his chin stronger. Rai touched his own face, he recalled being named ‘pretty boy’ by a 13 year old Shiki because of his long hair and delicate face. Though nothing else was feminine about Rai. Asato was burying his nose in the flowers and that’s when Konoe came running up. The look Asato gave Konoe was pure, unaltered love and devotion. There was not a hint of malice and it was like Konoe was the only thing that existed to this cat. Konoe sat in front of Asato and there was very audible purring from both of them. It filled Rai’s ears and it made him feel envy. Rai’s inner Touga sense spoke freely _It’s because that’s the way you want him to feel about you._  

_“Konoe!”_ Asato’s deep voice said and his tail curled, Konoe rubbed noses with Asato,

_“Asato.”_  Konoe seemed so happy, Rai didn’t think the grumpy spoiled brat he meant had this in him. _“What are you doing? Why did you run off? I told you, we don’t have to keep our union a secret anymore?”_

_“Their love was not forbidden by Shui or I. I believe this was after some people made Asato feel bad for kissing Konoe in public. Asato spent his whole life in the shadows, thus, this was his reality.”_ Asato looked down and proceeded to crawl onto Konoe,

“ _Asato, wait, wait…”_ But Asato did not, he pushed Konoe over and laid on top of him possessively. Konoe made a face, but Asato closed his eyes and smiled as he listened to his Sanga heartbeat. Konoe sighed loudly and spoke into Asato’s ear, _“Reclaiming me?”_

_  
“I want you to love me.”_ Asato said bluntly

_“I do.”_  Rai felt his chest imploding. He was seriously jealous of a dead cat right now. He was covetous of something that happened with Konoe literally years ago with someone who was cold in the ground. He made a face and he was tempted to lunge at Asato. It was useless, this was a memory and Asato was dead. Leaks pulled him out of the mild panic attack that was happening,

_“Let’s move on.”_ Leaks spoke. There was a whirlwind and the scenery began to wrap into the Sanga-Touga ballroom. Rai’s requested torment was not yet over it seemed. He was at the end of aisle at Asato’s and Konoe’s ceremony. Rai thought it was a wedding,

“I thought Sanga-Touga marriages were like what you and Shui did.” Rai said to Leaks,

“They are. This was the private Sanga-Touga only wedding, but not their bonding ritual. There are 3 ceremonies: the Sanga-Touga only wedding, the public wedding, and the ritual. The bonding ritual is the only one that needs to be done over every so often.”

“Isn’t 3 times excessive?” Rai made a skeptical face, Leaks held up 3 fingers,

“3 times to make sure you are true.” Leaks pointed towards Konoe and Asato. They both wearing a crown of red, blue and yellow flowers. Asato was in the suit that Rai had wore that day when he was declared Konoe’s Touga in training. Konoe was in a turquoise and gold outfit similar in style to Shui’s. It would have been tacky had Konoe not been so beautiful. The words were melting into the scenery, they didn’t matter. This was Konoe’s memory and Konoe knew that it didn’t matter. Rai liked the words were so muddy, it would make this ache in his chest harder to bare. He watched as the magically happy Konoe smiled at Asato with a rosy face and the Touga did it right back. “You can do whatever you want in this memory, Rai.” Leaks gently nudged the silver cat. A sad yet confused expression griped Rai’s face, as he slowly walked forward. Everyone was so happy. He saw a teary-eyed Shui and an expressionless Leaks in the front row. Rai took it upon himself to get close to Asato, observing every last detail of the dead Touga’s face. Rai then looked at Konoe and sniffed the figment of his Sanga.

_“Am I worthy of such a thing from you?”_ Leaks heard Rai say this but did not comment. The Touga needed to soul search. That’s when Konoe and Asato kissed right in front of Rai the small crowd started to clap. The jealously was so real inside of him, he wanted to snatch Konoe away and say ‘What are you doing? You are mine.’ But was Konoe? Rai realized he was too deep into this. Konoe…what did he think, what did he want? There had to be something that Rai had in common with this Asato. Leaks stepped behind Rai as the Touga watched Konoe twine tails with Asato and nuzzle him.

_“It’s not obvious to see yourself in Asato. He was a simple and pure cat, you are not.”_ The figments of Konoe and Asato walked through Leaks and Rai. Rai turned around and watch them leave with his ears down. They went into a doorway filled with light as Leaks spoke _, “But much like you, Asato was also afflicted and troubled…”_ Afflicted…troubled...

 Rai woke up with a yelp, his upper body throwing itself up. He snatched his hand from Leaks who stood to brush himself off. Shui was probably baking cookies and being worried. He wanted to be with his Sanga anyways. Rai’s eye was dilated, and he turned up at Leaks,

“How do you know?” Rai breathed,

“I am magician, through and through. I knew it the first time I saw you.” Leaks said, bored and anxious,

“Did Asato have the same thing…?” Rai was now swimming in chaos,

“No.” Leaks turned his back to Rai, “It was far worse.” Then the older cat headed off back into the woods. Rai felt so many emotions, it felt like he hadn’t even had a meaningful emotion in years. Since no one was around to see how vulnerable he was, he rested his face on his knees and closed his eye.

* * *

 

 A few days passed and Konoe was even more pissed than before. That Rai had been anxious to crawl all over him and now the fool was nowhere to be fucking found. When asking Akira, he had said that Rai had gone off into the woods for some soul searching shit. Konoe couldn’t have been less amused by that answer. Konoe was laying in bed thinking about all of this, he flung the sheet off himself and chewed some mint, swishing with water. He then freshened up his clothes and looked up at his painting with a mournful sigh,

“That was another thing about you, Asato.” Konoe fixed his bedding, “You weren’t full of doubt, you were so willing and ready. Why do I put up with the things I do? I’m sure you’d tell me not to.” Konoe said with a slight chuckle, he was fondly remembering how great his conversations were with Asato. That cat was pure, raw, and real the way nobody else ever was or ever could be. He’d never find that quality again, this, he had to live with me. Asato was often regarded as stupid but this couldn’t have been farther from the truth. He was just emotional, innocent, and introverted. Rai was an introvert too, but the same way Konoe was. Tough nuts to crack are what both of them were. Maybe that’s why this was so much harder than before. Konoe took one last look at the painting before heading out into the hallway.

“You’re back?” Konoe’s spoke in an annoyed tone to Rai as his tail flicked and he crossed his arms, “What? Came back for my royal breakfasts and to touch butts?” Konoe huffed as he try to storm by but Rai grabbed his arm and pulled his back “Hey!”

“I’m fucking sure alright?” Rai said, his desperation was not well hidden. Konoe turned and pulled his arm free.  

“Sure of what?” Konoe said in a suspicious tone.

“You.” Rai said sternly, trying to come across like he wasn’t hopelessly falling for this cat and fucking it up at every turn. Konoe gave Rai a deep gaze before leaning in and putting his head on Rai’s chest. His hands grabbing onto Rai’s cloak. He felt the silver cat breath a sigh of relief and lean against the wall. Konoe rubbed his face against Rai, scenting him before separating from his Touga.

“There, now you’re my property.” Konoe’s tone was half serious, half joking Rai’s slight smile hadn’t left his face. But it was obvious that now the silver cat was awaiting Konoe’s command, “Now, I am hungry. Come with me.” Konoe turned with his tail bouncing and Rai chuckled a bit. The shift in the mood was welcomed. So was Konoe’s unabashed teasing with the bounce of his butt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drama isn't over don't let me fool you.


	8. Dark Red Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaks and Shui fight, Rai and Konoe kiss. A major twist unfolds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ready to s u f f e r

                                                       

On the night of the renewal, Leaks gave up a terrible secret while he was being penetrated by Shui. Shui was trying to pretend like he was okay with it, he didn’t even cause a scene in front of Konoe. But the terrible secret was one that would ruin all the progress Rai and Konoe had made together. He couldn’t know right now, perhaps not ever. Leaks was outside tending to the garden, Shui sighed as he saw the distant figure of his husband out of the window. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Now was as good as time as any to see what Leaks had done.

* * *

 

  _Leaks had been so stricken by his son’s beloved death, Konoe had already tired every resourced trying to bring Asato back. As a gesture of love, Leaks was now making a spell. This had to bring Asato back. Leaks shook up a bottle of herbs and some of the bone shards from Asato’s corpse. He prayed to the god of death and up above to mother Ribikia. He had taken Konoe’s hair and a piece of his clothing as offering. Something to entice Asato’s spirit back to the land of the living. Leaks kneeled and cried out, his whole body shaking and then silence…_

_Leaks looked up to see Asato there._

_Except it wasn’t Asato._

_Leaks approached him and reached out. Asato was hunched over and sniffing the air. Asato was half cat half monster, literally. His fangs were that of a saber tooth, his claws were massively overgrown and razor sharp. His eyes were devoid of anything but basic life force, his hair overgrown and he was much bulkier than he had been in life. Leaks reached out gently with his hands,_

_“Asato…” Leaks said in a soft voice, Asato crept forward on all fours and Asato sniffed his hand. He looked at Leaks, growled and took a swipe. Leaks used magic to bind Asato’s limbs to the ground, a roar echoed through the night. Leaks hissed, “Stop it! I am Leaks!” Asato snapped his jaws at Leaks. The magic cat smacked Asato across the face. The Touga whimpered and became docile. “I am Leaks and you will listen to me while we get this sorted out.” Asato bowed his head in surrender, while Leaks took a deep breath. **Both of the halves want Konoe.** The chains Leaks had created wrapped up around Asato’s throat and became a lease. Leaks took a hold of it and tugged, Asato made a loud groan. “Shut up!” Leaks commanded. _

_Leaks led Asato back to the castle, the dead of night…a snarling beast…Leaks shook his head, Asato wasn’t a beast. He was that toddler Kaltz couldn’t soothe and so Leaks held the 3 season cycle year old Asato until he fell asleep. Leaks looked back at Asato, surely that cat was still in there…. Leaks led him down into the basement and used one of the old slave chains rooted in the wall to bind Asato by his neck. Asato looked so confused. Leaks closed the door to the cell but didn’t lock it. He pressed his face to the bars,_

_“I will fix this, and I will give you back to Konoe.” Leaks wandered back upstairs to go to bed._

* * *

 

 Shui’s eyes fluttered open as Leaks entered the room. He looked his husband with despair,

“Asato is alive?” Leaks made eye contact with Shui. What Shui saw when he looked into his Touga’s eyes was grief and regret,

“I don’t know.” Shui stood up from his chair,

“What?” Shui was in disbelief, Leaks slammed his fist on the table which he was placing the potted plant he was holding,

“I don’t fucking know!” Shui grabbed Leaks shoulders and shook him,

“Why don’t you know?! Where is Asato?!” Leaks grabbed onto Shui’s clothing and his eyes dilated,

“I tried fucking everything, Shui! Everything!” Shui’s tail stood on guard,

“How does this story end, Leaks?!”

* * *

 

_Leaks had tried everything to bring Asato back to being his former self. Everything was futile. No matter the offering, the gods wouldn’t listen. Every time Leaks thought he was making progress, Asato would eat the piece of Konoe’s dirty laundry that Leaks gave him. Leaks couldn’t do anymore and Shui was starting to get worried why Leaks was hanging out in the dark belly of the castle. Leaks, with great hesitance, called upon Nano for help. Leaks turned his head up at the slow steps of the brunette cat were heard._

_“Leaks.” Nano spoke softly before noticing the Asato in the cell. Leaks held out his hand,_

_“Nothing is working, Nano. I was hoping if he saw someone he cared about it would bring him back.” Nano looked at Leaks with an intense curiosity,_

_“Why me and not Konoe?”_

_“Platonic affections do not have the ravenous passions of romance. I fear he will devour Konoe given the chance in his current state.” Nano curled his tail and turned back to Asato silently. Leaks didn’t run interference on what happened next. Nano opened the door and stepped inside, he held out his hand. Leaks held his breath as Asato sniffed Nano. Leaks saw a flicker in Asato’s eyes. **That is Nano, Asato, remember?** There was a brief moment where Nano put his hand atop Asato’s head. But just when Leaks felt a spark of hope, Asato swiped at Nano, ripping his clothing, and leaving bloody graze marks on his chest. Nano got out of the cell slowly and closed the door. Asato lunged at the bars again and Nano jumped back. When Nano looked back at Leaks, there was despair in his expression. This cat didn’t express many feelings, but Nano felt an ache in his chest. The ache of rejection, _

_“I fear your conclusion is right, Leaks.” Nano looked at the blood on his chest and touched the wounds. “I was the last chance, wasn’t I?” Leaks looked down,_  


_“Yes.” There was a pause before Nano spoke once more,_

_“You have to kill him, he’s not Asato anymore.” The younger cat’s voice was icy, but a forced icy. He didn’t want his friend to die. Leaks took in a sharp breath and his eyes met Nano’s,_

_“No…I can’t, I have known him since he was 2 feet tall. There is one thing I can do…” Nano listened intently, “You’re going to start a rumor, that the dark red forest outside of the city is haunted. You are to say this at your next book reading, you are to say the magician Leaks was even afraid of what lay in those woods and the rest is up to you.” Leaks gazed at Asato and walked to the cell, “I am going to release him in there, the woods are so dense and large that he will never find his way out. Anyone who is stupid and tries to see him will meet their nasty end.” Nano nodded and then whispered something to Asato before leaving._

* * *

 

 Shui thought he was going to fucking scream. Asato was possibly alive and Leaks left him in the woods to rot.

“Leaks we have to tell Konoe!” Leaks hissed,

“That will only send him on a fucking suicide mission to go get him and he will completely ignore Rai!” Shui couldn’t fucking believe what he was hearing right now. That’s why Nano wasn’t upset, his friend wasn’t fucking dead.

“Konoe needs to be with Asato, if he thinks Asato is dead than his whole relationship with Rai will be a lie.”

“It isn’t a fucking lie, Shui! The Asato he loved his dead, that thing in the woods, that thing I didn’t have the guts to kill…that thing isn’t Asato, it’s a monster.”

“Half monster is what Asato was and Konoe loved him even when shit was hard! I’m so angry at you!” Shui hadn’t felt this pissed in long time, he hissed at Leaks,

“You didn’t tell me, the one person that you are supposed to tell everything to…this is almost as bad as if you cheated on me.” Leaks snapped,

“Don’t you fucking go there, Shui. Don’t even fucking there, that is a line that cannot be uncrossed.” Shui growled,

“It is! This a major fucking lie, I don’t even know you! I love how you waited until I was at my most vulnerable to tell me. You ruined it all!” Shui ripped his rings off his hand and threw them in Leaks face. “You sleep here from now on, I don’t want to see you anymore!” Leaks felt his heart pounding out of his chest as he watched his beloved red head leave in a huff. There was nothing that could be done, and Leaks couldn’t help but think this was everything coming full circle.

* * *

 

 Rai and Konoe were walking together, trying to find a good place to play fight. They were bantering when they came across the edge of the dark red forest. Konoe made a cautious face,

“These woods are haunted.” He said his tone becoming serious, Rai scoffed,

“By what? The paranoia of old people?” Rai kicked a pebble into the woods. Konoe’s tail straightened up because he was spooked by the noise, “What the hell are you so afraid of?” Konoe looked at Rai,

“Demons are real, father says so.” Rai rolled his eye,

“Your father says a lot of things. Come on, let’s go in.” Konoe shook his head,

“No way, I’m not getting eaten!” Rai grabbed his Sanga by the arm,

“Fine let’s go together if it will make you feel better.” Konoe dug his heels into the dirt.

“No!” He protested as the much stronger white haired cat pulled him in the woods, Konoe was being spooked by this place. The mysterious red trees, what was their deal? Rai wasn’t worried, he looked for a clearing while his Sanga had a mild panic attack. Rai found what he was looking for a little while in. A small clearing covered in red foliage. God, it was almost romantic.

“Here's good.” Rai let go of Konoe,

“I’m leaving!” Rai smirked and leaned in,  
“You’re going to run deep into the aimless spooky forest without your Touga?” Konoe looked away and put his ears down, Rai stood up pridefully and drew his weapon, “I didn’t think so.” Konoe heard something rustling and hissed at the noise, Rai chuckled,

“Did you hear that?”

“Yes. Wind. It’s late fall, stupid cat.” Rai observed his weapon and Konoe jumped back around, still in the striking stance. He stood looking at Rai intensely, “Are we fighting with our hands? I think I can get into that.” Rai sheathed his weapon and caught his Sanga by surprised by pining his hands behind his back.

“Hey!” Konoe attempted to kick off Rai’s leg and failed. “We’re on the same team, asshole!” Rai took Konoe’s wrists above his head and turned his Sanga to face him, Konoe glared. “You’re so fucking smug.”

“You’re so…cute when you’re angry.” Rai stuck out his tongue and licked the tip of Konoe’s nose. Konoe’s face scrunched as he managed to wiggle free of Rai’s grasp. The smaller cat, upon getting free of his touga grasp, immediately launched himself back at Rai. His claws grazed his face and neck, it tickled the bigger cat a bit. Rai nipped at one of Konoe’s ears causing the Sanga to jump back in surprise. Konoe then made a serious face and crouched down in the leaves. Rai played along by turning his back and then there was a few moments of anticipation. Konoe then jumped up and caused leaves to go scattering everywhere into the air. Rai smoothly avoided the pounce by sliding out of the way and causing Konoe to hit the frozen earth below. A leaf got in the Sanga’s mouth and Rai was amused for a few minutes as the Sanga dug broken, dead leaf out of his gums.

“Come back here, you coward!” Konoe war cried into the forest and Rai witnessed at Konoe haphazardly attempted to climb a tree. The smaller cat began to slip, and Rai thought how hard he might fall. He judged the height and in a split second decision, he stood below the smaller cat as his claws slid down the tree. Konoe winced, it hurt so bad he couldn’t handle it. He let go hoping his feet would hold but flattered the move and panicked as he began to fell back. He was then caught with a grunt by Rai. Konoe took a moment to get his bearings as his limb hung loose with Rai’s arms firmly around his waist. He stretched his hands and then put his head against Rai’s chest. Trying to kick off similarly to before. Rai let him think he succeeded and push the cat lightly to his feet.

“Try to not do anymore stupid shit.” Rai said,

“You didn’t have to catch me, I’m not a baby.” Konoe looked around before bringing up something he was curious about,

“So, what do you consider yourself to me?” Rai’s lip twitched, and he rolled over mentally.

“Your Touga.” Konoe cocked his head to the side,

“But are you really my Touga? Do you really want that means? Or are you just infatuated with my good looks?” The wind blew Konoe’s hair, almost as if confirming his self-absorption. Rai held out his hands,

“You aren’t hot enough for this bullshit to just be for anal, I talk most girls into that.” Konoe’s face turned bright red and he waved his hands.

“Ugh!” Rai smirked just then Konoe thought of a response, “Well…who says we’ll be having sex! Maybe you’ll miss women!” Rai let out a low chuckle. Konoe was acting like he didn’t know that all the sex they would be having would be anal. Rai didn’t mind a bit, though. Rai started to close the distance between them,

“No, I don’t think I will.” The larger cat snatched Konoe in by the waist and as their faces got closer, Konoe’s entirety was becoming hot. He put his ears back and lightly pushed on Rai with the palms of his hands. “Why are you so stubborn anyway, stupid cat?” Rai’s voice was low and husky, Konoe was caving.

“Way to get me bothered, call me stupid.” Konoe said softly,

“What if I called you cute one more time?”

“…” Their faces finally pressed together. Unfortunately, the sweet kiss was short-lived as they both heard a rustling. Then a low grunt and something like a growl. Rai was the first to open his eye and he saw a dark, animal-like thing in the distance. Konoe heard it too and felt his Touga stiffen so he pulled away. Rai was looking just past him. Rai didn’t smell this animal before and he couldn’t see what it was from this far away. That’s when the thing turned around, he saw two brilliant dark blue orbs seemingly looking at him. But in Rai’s confusion he had loosened his grip and Konoe turned around. The thing instantly focused on Konoe. Rai felt protectiveness and fear because he couldn’t identify the thing eyeing his Sanga.

But Konoe felt neither.

The thing seemed gentle in its gaze, familiar even. Like he had met this creature before in a kinder setting. The thing looked between him and Rai, then gave a cry that could only be described as pure sadness. Konoe broke free of Rai’s grasp and attempted to dart towards the thing. _Wait, wait, I know you._ Rai panicked as Konoe ran towards the creature with the blue eyes aimlessly into the woods. But as soon as Konoe reached the half way mark, the thing turned and Rai at a speed that no cat could keep up. Rai launched himself forward and grabbed Konoe’s arms tightly. Konoe struggled,

“I have to go after…!” Rai growled,

“You really are stupid! That thing isn’t a cat, I don’t know what the fuck it is! It’ll probably eat you if you go after it!” Konoe’s trace was broken and his mind convinced itself it was just hallucinating because these woods were creepy as fuck. There was a reason nobody lived in them or around them. It didn’t matter if they were haunted or not. Konoe had no desire to be here any longer, he didn’t care if that thing was real or just a dream.

“Let’s go.” Konoe said quietly, that thing…it was focused on Konoe and cried out in pain. Those eyes were so damn familiar…maybe this was one of those places where the realms bled together, and the forest played tricks on you. Rai couldn’t have agreed more, he didn’t know if that thing was just waiting to catch them off guard again and come running back to kill them. Rai let go,

“Good, this place is fucking weird anyways.” Konoe stuck to Rai’s side as they left the woods together. Those eyes…they had looked just like Asato’s eyes. Rai had only seen the cat in memories, but Rai felt like they looked like Asato’s…Asato’s eyes on a demon-like creature in a supposedly haunted forest. A chill ran down Rai’s spine and he hoped Konoe didn’t notice.

_Do you believe in ghosts?_

* * *

 

 Rai and Konoe couldn’t have been more relieved to come back the palace. Though they found it strangely quiet, were Shui and Leaks here? Konoe had said he had smelled both his parents recently. Maybe they were napping together? Rai felt like a nap with his own Sanga after that shit in the woods. They needed to eat first though. They were served bread, sparkling juice and some sort of fancy salad that they were informed was from Leaks’ recent herb collecting. It was alright, they were quiet. They were trying to pretend like the dark red woods didn’t scare the fucking shit out of them. They were both far too proud to admit it. Rai cleaned his tail at the table while he waited for Konoe to finish eating.

“I am tired.” Rai proclaimed standing up, Konoe followed,

“But it’s the middle of the day.”

“I had a restless night.” Konoe didn’t want to protest this, he honestly didn’t feel safe leaving Rai’s side. He needed to be home and safe for a few days to shake off the woods.  He followed Rai to their room, where the outer layers of their clothing were shed. Konoe was about to snuggle next to Rai when there was a soft knock at the door. He walked over, it was his dad. Who looked like he’d been punched in the face with emotion. Konoe was worried.

“I need to speak to you…alone.” He eyed Rai, but the silver cat was already trying to go back to sleep. Konoe left the room quietly with his dad. Shui took in a deep breath, how the hell was he supposed to tell his son this? Maybe Leaks was right about not telling him because he’d most definitely dispose of Rai and head on a suicide mission. Shui was so conflicted, but he was also furious at his husband. Konoe waited, “I’m fighting with you dad.” Shui held up his hand and noticed the missing rings. Oh no, that never happened. Sure, they had the occasional bicker or real fight about something important, but things rarely got this ugly. His parents were a fairytale like that. “We are not speaking but I…” Shui wiped his face and looked into his son’s eyes. This was even harder than he imagined, he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say _Asato is alive._ Fuck, fuck…” You cannot go in the dark woods forest, your father had confirmed demons.” That was easier. Konoe bit his lip,

“I was in there with Rai today, a demon scared us, and we ran away.” Shui put his face in his hands and moaned with sadness. Konoe thought that his dad was worried about something horrible happening, “Nothing happened to me, Rai protected me like he should, and the thing kept its distance.” Shui shook his head,

“No, no, no…” Konoe reached out to comfort his dad,

“Dad, it’s okay we will never go back. We learned our lesson.” Shui looked up and then down at the floor,

“It’s not that…it’s just...” then Shui thought of an answer to the problem, he made deep eye contact with Konoe, “If I knew something that would hurt Rai and send you spiraling, would you want to know? No matter the severity?” Konoe was puzzled, something had seriously fucked his dad up. Shui was a happy go lucky and whimsical guy. Things rarely got to him, Konoe thought about. Does he want to know the true horror, if it could destroy like this? Konoe reached out and touched his dad’s hand.

“Dad, whatever it is…I’m okay with not knowing right now. Please go take care of yourself.” Shui felt so weak that he accepted that answer. He took a step forward and put a kiss on Konoe’s head,

“Okay, okay…go be with Rai.” Shui turned away and left. Konoe went back in the room, Rai looked over and waited for Konoe to crawl into bed next to him. Konoe laid a bit closer to Rai,

“What did he want?” Rai questioned with a sleepy voice.

“He and Leaks are fighting, I told him to take care of himself before talking to me.” Rai shrugged and closed his eyes again. Konoe waited a few minutes before creeping an arm around Rai. The silver cat didn’t push him away.

_Safety._


	9. Paths Untraveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffering (tm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I made a shuileaks shadow box: https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/49718019_621326208286111_442822475521196032_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=41f41157050518054ec8a2acac569028&oe=5CC8FDFC

                  

Akira was assaulted by an incessant tapping at the door in the middle of the night. When he rolled out of bed and checked out the peep hole he saw Shui in his winter coat and thick snow boots. The Prince was distressed looking. Akira opened the door,   
   
“It’s so late…” Akira yawned and Shui barged in like Akira had said nothing at all.

“I need Nano.”

“For what?” Akira grumbled, Shui then gave Akira a stern look.

“I know the secret now.” Shui said in a voice that frightened Akira,

“Secret?” Akira said softly,

“Like you don’t know.” Shui said, irritation was thick in his voice.

“I don’t Shui, when have you ever known me to be a liar.”

“Asato is alive, Nano and Leaks know, don’t tell Konoe.” Akira’s eyes widened, Nano was keeping a secret from him? Since when was his mate of 5 season cycles like this? Shui walked straight back into the cottage and shook Nano a bit. The brunette cat was slow moving as he got up, Akira glared at Nano. Before storming over and looming over Nano’s form in the bed,

“We’re keeping secrets now, Nano? Asato is alive!” Nano sat up in bed and looked disinterested in both of the people currently running his sleeping.

“Asato is not alive like he was before. He is a shell of pure instinct now.” Akira hissed and curled his tail,

“You fucking kept it from me, is our bond really that fucking superficial?” Nano stretched and looked over at Shui,

“He finally told you, did he? Does Konoe know?” Akira got between Nano and Shui. The prince did not stop him.

“No, no. You are talking to me, first.” Akira asserted. Shui loved the power coming off the smaller cat. He would have been a great Touga if he hadn’t fallen in love with Nano before Leaks could snatch him up. “Where is Asato, Nano?” Akira was being aggressive,

“The Dark Red Woods.” Shui finally spoke up,

“Today Konoe and Rai saw him, but they didn’t know it was him.” Akira glanced over at Shui,

“How are we going to tell Konoe?”

“We aren’t right now. Leaks is convinced it’ll send Konoe on a suicide mission and he’s right…” Akira’s gaze intensified,

“Why would it be a suicide mission?”

“Because the part of Asato that came back from the other side is the Meigi half.” Shui said and Akira swallowed unsure of what to do.

  
“Why are you here, singing cat?” Nano said softly, Shui ran his hand over his face. Akira noticed his missing rings and figured the fight must have been pretty bad between he and Leaks.

“Because we’re going to see Asato. Right now.” Akira groaned,

“Shui, I’m so tired.” Shui was reminded this was his son’s best friend. It was his job to be the noble sage. Shui grabbed Akira and Nano’s coats, throwing them at the younger cats.

“Put on these and your shoes, we are going. Prince says so.” Nano did as he was told, he knew he was in some deep shit. He pulled on his fur coat and fastened his winter boots. He was tired, and his body felt heavy. But he figured this was as good as time as any to give a moon cycle visit to his friend. Akira flopped back down on the bed in deviance, Shui was in no mood for this. “Come on!”

“No, go with Nano, I want to sleep away from him anyways.” Shui’s slightly dozy aggression knew no bound at he grabbed Akira’s legs and dragged them off the bed. Akira hissed and Shui pinched his ear,

“I have known since you were this high, Akira!” Shui slapped his hand against his mid-thigh, “You can fight with your own self-centered black magic cat when you get home. But right now, you and I are on the same page for once and I intend to keep it that way!” He growled in Akira’s face and he finally complied. When he was done, Shui jerked his body to Nano and point a sharp claw at the half-meigi. “You’re not off the hook, I know exactly what I will do to punish you.” Nano and Akira followed Shui in silence. There was a darkness about the singing cat that wasn’t usually there. He had removed his wedding rings he was so pissed at Leaks, they were sure Konoe was the only one he was still being kind to.

They walked in the cold and tried to avoid slipping on black ice for what seemed like a small eternity. They finally approached the edge of the dark red woods and entered in. Akira shivered, and Nano offered his body but received a low hiss for doing so. Shui pulled out a piece of cloth from his pocket. It was an old shirt of Konoe’s. Shui hummed and spoke low into the air

“Cat of darkness

Come into the light

let the temptation of love be the sweetest scent you have smelled

I speak to you, tiny one from all those years ago in the forest,

come to me,

 Like your head still barely hits my knees.” Shui remembered the day he meant Asato, he’d have to stop the child from licking tiny Konoe. That was a sweet day, when Leaks found him crying and consoled him until Kaltz came. That was the one of the greatest memories he had, tiny Asato in all his little gooey monster baby glory. Leaks had found the child charming and beautiful. He saw a piece of himself. It was moments like that he felt real love for Leaks. It was hard to believe that this was the reality of their lives now. Shui’s thoughts were interrupted by a rustling that was coming closer and closer. All 3 of the cats braced themselves with shut eyes for what was going to happen but out of the woods came Asato who ran and then sat in front of Shui in one moment.

 Shui slowly opened his eyes again and saw what was definitely Asato, sitting in front of him. The small meigi cat had odd patches of hair on his arms and legs, his teeth looked slightly overgrown and his ears were a bit bigger than Shui remembered. But those blue eyes…Shui remembered and put his hand over his mouth. He felt tears coming on,

“Asato…” Shui cried and a tear fell down his face. Akira couldn’t believe it, it was really Asato. Asato who would make innocent comments about how much Nano loves him. Who would literally sit for hours on their living room floor and say nothing to Nano, but just watch him. Wordlessly talking to each other. Shui held out his hand, “I don’t even care if you bite it off! I’m so happy to see you!” Asato purred and bumped Shui’s hand. The singing cat collapsed to his knees and put his head against Asato’s. Asato was so happy to see his dad in law.

* * *

 

_What no one knew was that Leaks' stunt had accidently brought back some of Asato’s mind. Asato had recognized Nano, but instantly hated him for what he did. He attacked Nano because his primal mind had seen it as yet another upfront to the goal of Konoe. That was something Asato could remember to keep a grip to not kill Leaks. **Konoe will never forgive you.**_

_After being abandoned in the woods, Asato’s mind had started to collect as he went looking for food. Often times he would hear Shui’s singing from afar and although he could not find his way out…he would be comforted knowing that his and Konoe’s bond couldn’t ignored for this long._

_Then 2 season cycles passed and Konoe still hadn’t arrived. Asato got an occasional visit from Nano, who told wild tales of the life outside. Asato had always felt something was off about his stories, Konoe had taught him to trust himself before anyone else. But Asato wanted so badly to believe this cat wouldn’t lie to him. Then again…he had been the one to suggest Leaks kill him. Asato became distant from his emotions until one day…._

_Asato had gotten worried and started to tend to his rinky dink home in the woods. He wondered if this was how Leaks had started. Would he learn to fully forgive Leaks? He had thought he had just about done so… when one day Konoe entered the forest. But he wasn’t alone._

_Asato approached silently and saw that Konoe had a new friend. The silver haired cat was tall, arrogant and teasing…none of which Asato remembered his dear Konoe liking. Asato flinched the moment he saw the silver haired cat kiss Konoe. Asato whined lowly, but then he thought for a moment. **Konoe thinks I’m dead, of course he would find someone knew and I want Konoe to be happy. But I am still jealous.**_

_The emotions were too much and as Asato turned to flee the scene, he looked back Konoe and his new Touga. Konoe then tried to come after him and Asato went running. All this time he had wanted to see Konoe and now he couldn’t even bare the sight of him. Asato went back home and saw the dead rabbit he had killed hanging from the tree and then looked at his stock pile of dried fruit…he roared. What was this life he was living, alone in the woods with no way out, surviving off small mammals and fruit…longing like a princess for his love to come save him? The love that was never coming…Asato laid down and considered what he would have to do to end his own life. For good. Making sure no one would even been tempted to bring him back. Konoe had moved on, there was no place in this world for him anymore. His crowning position was now someone else’s. He wanted to rip that albino cat apart but how could he even be angry? Was Konoe supposed to wait for a man he thought was dead forever? That new Touga wasn’t antagonizing him on purpose and neither was Konoe. He wished Leaks had just let him stay dead._

* * *

 

Asato was pulled into Shui’s warm embrace. His was so comforted by this cat he had known since he was little. Shui sobbed but Asato tried to comfort him. Shui was the light of everyone’s life. Asato couldn’t have been happier to see him. Shui felt his heart soar with happiness, Nano and Leaks were wrong! They were wrong! Shui pulled back to look at Asato,

“Come on, I’m taking you home” But Asato shook his head and looked down, Shui was confused, “Don’t you wanna come home with me?”

“Konoe had another Touga…I don’t want to be the thing that keeps him from being happy.” In his haze of love, Shui had forgotten about Rai. Shui decided that now was the time for improve. He grabbed Asato’s hands,

“Don’t worry.” Shui sniffled as he and Asato rose together. Asato mildly resisted, but he wanted to go back to life outside the forest so bad. He eyed Nano, his friend. The brunette cat had abandoned him too, they made eye contact and Asato silently pleaded for answers. Nano gave none, only his bitter shame that he had been lying to Asato for years. Asato had come to understand that Leaks and Nano had been keeping him a secret. He knew his dad-in-law wouldn’t have just left him out there, Shui was made of soft clay.

 Shui help onto Asato’s hand as they walked through the chilly night. It was late, so Asato was shivering. He was nude except for a piece of cloth fashioned around his hips to protect his genitals. Shui made sure that Asato was the first inside and then he turned to Nano and Akira.

 “Akira, you may stay here if you wish.” Shui glared at Nano, “You are not welcomed, leave.” Nano looked to Akira for confirmation and Akira flicked his hand towards the door. Nano then left with sadness in his eyes, Asato wondered if he decided to forgive him if that would make it better. He chooses to not worry right now because he was tired. Shui curled his tail and purred, Akira left up for the room he usually slept in.

“What is happening?” Asato asked,

“Well, my dear Asato. You are going to have to stay low here for a while, only do and come out as I say. You understand why, right?” Shui gave Asato a weary look but Asato knew how to calm the older cat’s nerves.

“Following orders is the only thing I’m good at. That what I have been told my whole life.” That made Shui feel sad but he sighed, feeling heavy with exhaustion. He gesticulated for Asato to follow him upstairs. Rai and Konoe should be asleep. But Shui chose to put Asato in the floor above theirs. It was the top floor were Leaks was sleeping. There was the grandmaster bedroom and a smaller room on the floor. The only two rooms on the floor in fact. Shui had prepared the room with Asato’s clothes, some food, water, and a chamber pot. He would unfortunately have to spend a lot of time in this room. Asato was just glad to see a real bed and bread. He felt like warm and remembered why he had liked Shui so much as a child. Asato purred,

“I’ll be here in the morning to tend to you, if Leaks finds you…feel free to say whatever you want to him.” Asato watched Shui leave and close the door. He dove onto the bed and hugged the clean pillow to his face.

* * *

 

Rai woke up with Konoe snuggled into him, their afternoon had been spent eating and romping around the castle. There was a silent fear between them about what they saw in the forest. Rai was happy to not mention it because he got more kissing out of Konoe. They then ate caramelized cashews and fell asleep. Rai was feeling it, that feeling that been described over and over again. But he didn’t want to admit it. It was the first time he’d ever felt it. He’d had a string of lovers, but he had felt nothing for any of them. Konoe was like the most expensive doll on the shelf that been enchanted into a real boy. Rai felt the entirety of his old collection could be thrown out because of it. 

 The silver cat brushed Konoe’s cheek with his hand and opted to not move until the smaller cat woke up. Rai couldn’t remember a time when anyone had whined to be held by him. He thought Konoe’s pouting was so cute that he agreed to it. It didn’t feel so bad, these approaching winter nights were hard and Konoe was like a small space heater. He began to gently clean Konoe’s ears, they flicked as a reflex every so often. He wondered if Konoe dreamed of anything.

The sun shifted slightly and Konoe stirred. He woke up and soft _meow_ came out with the yawn. Rai was amused, it was cute. People didn’t meow too often, but it seemed Konoe couldn’t help it. Konoe looked at Rai and then put his head back on his Touga’s chest.

“Hello.” Konoe said,

“Done being cranky from last night?” Konoe huffed,

“Yes. You can’t be romantic at all, can you?” Rai raised his eyebrow,

“Was I supposed to be?” Konoe got off Rai and climbed out of bed,

“I guess not.” Konoe began pulling on his daily clothes and chewing on mint leaves. Rai followed shortly, making a show of cleaning his tail because Konoe had made it messy while they slept. They headed to the dining hall to eat. Shui entered shortly after, his wedding rings still missing. He sat at the table while the butler brought eggs and sweet bread toast for the Prince. Rai noticed how weary and colorless Shui looked. He quickly put together something must be happening with Leaks. Rai decided it was none of his business as he ate. Shui was silent until he reached into his pocket, pulled out an envelope and stood, he then placed on Rai’s empty plate.

“Give this to Shiki.” The head Sanga said dryly,

“What is it?”

“Exactly what he wants.” _What?_ Why was Shui surrendering Akira’s protection? There had to be a reason. He looked at Konoe for a sign but found no answers. Konoe looked just as clueless.

“Why?” Konoe asked his dad and just then Leaks flicks the door behind them open and storms in. There was a dark rage coming off Leaks and Rai realized that Shui’s moping was nothing in comparison.  Leaks reached over Rai’s shoulder without hesitation and took the letter back. Rai choose to remain still and silent. Konoe put his head down. They were now about to be witnesses to something that almost never happened. Konoe knew that his parents hadn’t fought like this in many season cycles.

“What do you think you are doing? I don’t want to see you!” Shui yelled, Leaks was quick to respond,

“You are not a martyr Shui! You’re the most emotionally self-centered person I know! This time is no exception!” Leaks hissed in a voice that seemed to snake around Rai and choke the air out of him. Shui stood,

“This is because of you! All this is because of you, I am cleaning your mess up!” Leaks back away as if to say to Shui _don’t touch me._ Leaks tail flicked violently like a whip,

“I did the best that I could do! But you’re such a fucking impulsive ass kisser that you don’t even think about me!” Then Shui said something that even Konoe was not expecting,

“Oh yeah, I never think about you. That’s why I lived in secrecy with you as my lover and our child for moons!” Leaks growled,

“That was for your own skin! I was always a novelty to you, Shui! I was the hated loner cat in the woods and you thought it be so cute if you saved me from whatever the fuck you think I needed saving from! News flash: I would still be happy in that fucking isolated cottage living out my natural lifespan with or without you!” Shui groaned in pain, Leaks went on, “Even now all you’re doing is acting out a revenge fantasy against me. Because you’ve always known deep down that loving me was a burden. We both know that if Konoe’s mother had survived the birth, you would have never been with me!” Shui looked like he was about ready to cry again, Leaks made sure his words cut deep. He wanted his Sanga to know exactly how he felt, he resented Shui because he always knew he’d be playing second fiddle to Konoe’s mother forever.

“Yes, I would have! I was in love with you and everyone fucking knew it!” Shui said weakly, unsure of even what to say. Everything felt wrong,

“The fact that taking my rings off was so easy proves my point. You aren’t devoted to me, you are devoted to what I do for you. You are only in love with me as an idea.” Shui reacted reflexively and attempted to swipe at Leaks face, which he dodged.

“The only cat who has ever been totally in love with you is me!” Leaks hissed,

“I would never try to strike you…” The head Touga said, sadness welling up into his voice. Rai understood how Leaks felt, he imagined he might get pretty pissed at Konoe; but never angry enough to take swipes at him. What was Shui doing? Rai realized he knew literally nothing about the Prince or his relationship with Leaks.

 “Don’t you ever say I don’t love you! I gave my child’s life to you! I would do and be anything for you!” Shui put his hands over his heart, Leaks was being spine chillingly stony towards his Sanga. But there was one unanswered question: what the hell was warranting this bloodbath of words between the lovers who almost never fought? “Show Konoe! Show him! Show him! Or I will!” Shui screamed. Leaks then laid desperate eyes on Konoe, he froze, unsure of how to respond. He then wrapped around Shui and the table to stand over Konoe. Shui watched carefully,

“Konoe, if there was a secret that would be something you wanted more than anything, but it would ruin your relationship with Rai, would you want to know?” Rai mentally started to panic, _do you believe in ghosts?_ Ghosts, ghosts…Asato…Rai was mentally twisting _no, no._ Konoe had a look of consideration, what did Leaks mean by what he wanted? Then Konoe looked at Rai, he considered his blossoming relationship with the Touga. Rai didn’t know it but he wasn’t concealing his desperation very well right now. Rai was refusing the reality he was possibly facing because it would mean losing Konoe. His Sanga was thinking about all this too. He looked at his father and stood up,

 “No, I don’t.”

“What about truth Konoe?” Leaks was relieved.

“Sometimes some truths are better left unspoken.” Rai let out the breath he had been holding and relaxed his shoulder. Shui looked at his son, he wondered if his son smelled Asato listening on the other side of the door behind them. Konoe offered his hand to Rai, “Come on, let’s go do something together.” Shui let go of Rai and the Touga loyally followed Konoe out of the room. The silver cat couldn’t have felt more relieved, the world was imploding there for a second.

 “I…” Shui felt like a total and complete moron. He had thrown this big, impulsive fit and turns out that his husband had made the right decision. Konoe had moved on from Asato and was trying to get himself back on track. Leaks glared at his husband and Shui was unsure of what to do. There was an awkward silence until Shui finished his statement softly, “I’m sorry, Leaks.” There was more silence but for some reason neither of them felt permitted to leave. The head Sanga was lucky that his Touga was a big softie for him even when he was annoyed. Leaks silently accepted the apology but couldn’t forget how his beloved of all this time had attempted to claw him. He couldn’t forget how easy it had been to take off the rings that symbolize being together forever, even when things were hard. Leaks fiddled with his own ring. Shui waited for sign,

“You and everyone else are wrong about me, Shui.” Leaks said, his tone normal again. “You’ve lost your way, you’ve become just as convinced as everyone else this is a fairytale. It’s not a fairytale romance and never has been, I wasn’t Prince Charming saving you from the beast. I was an earthly man with empathy. You cannot continue like you are the ray of sunshine who saved the shadow man.” Leaks was right. Before Shui meant Leaks, he had lived in a world free of real pain. He understood nothing, he believed in a good place that simply didn’t exist. Shui had had the entirety of his life handed to him: the Sanga powers, the great job, the bubbly personality that everyone liked, the pretty wife, the beautiful home just on the outskirts of Ransen, loving parents…Leaks had had nothing handed to him whatsoever. Shui recalled the day that he heard the first wise tale about his new friend, Leaks. Oh, he had wanted to shout _You’re wrong! He would never willingly drink the blood of a sacred animal!_ But that was the same day he came to glimpse Leaks’ pain.

“I’m a fool, Leaks, but I always have been.” Leaks but his hands on the chair in front of him and leaned forward,

“I’ve been talking to that other you…” Shui looked puzzled but then remembered. Leaks had been messing around with his magic and had found another version of them. A terrible version. Shui was a ghost who died before Konoe was born and Leaks was a vengeful magician who got rid of all his emotions by pouring them into Konoe. That Leaks had convinced himself that Shui had plotted to murder him by setting his home on fire and was destroying the world because of it. He had tried to talk to that Leaks and Leaks refused to even amuse him. The evil Leaks had jeered his Leaks on for ‘placating the selfish liar with false concept of romantic love’. Shui had been equally as shocked when the shadow of his lingering pain passed through him. He had needed regular Leaks to comfort him for days after.

“Why?” Shui hide his discomfort.

“I wanted to ask him about me.”

“What did he say?”

“That no matter how awful I am, he couldn’t unlove me.” Leaks sighed, “He said that you should feel more grateful, because no matter what happens to me, you continue loving me even when it feels like the air is made of knives.” Shui understood, god, he was such an idiot. Even right now he wanted to run and take his grumpy love of life into his arms. He didn’t know if making up was permitted right now. Leaks was thinking about his evil twin, he was afraid of him. The mirror was so perfect, he saw all he could have been become and all that could have been. This fight was about Konoe and secret keeping, but since Shui realized that Leaks did the best he could and had apologized…was this fight worth having any longer. Leaks had Shui’s rings in his pocket and took them out. He looked at the nervous and humiliated red head, “Come here, Sanga.” He turned to the side and Shui jotted in front of Leaks, he grabbed the Sanga’s right hand and put the rings back on the ring finger. He then grabbed Shui’s wrist and held up his hand so that the rings were clear to the Sanga. Deep, penetrating eye contact was made “You are never to remove these again without my permission, is that understood?”

“I understand.” Leaks then let go of his wrist and kissed Shui tenderly on the lips. The red head felt his spirits soar and the relief tasted like cold water on a hot day. When Shui opened his eyes, Leaks was gone, but the feeling of love was still present. Shui wanted to feel that way eternally.


	10. Wilted Mushrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asato is a sad boi, Rai has a mental breakdown.

 

Rai had decided to go sleep back in his shared apartment with Shiki. He had spent the night and day of Konoe’s parents’ fight with him; but there was something going on. Konoe had looked Rai dead in the eye and refused a reality that would break them apart but would benefit Konoe. Shiki had gotten so close to getting what he wanted and didn’t even know it. Rai needed some time to recoup by himself. Konoe hadn’t wanted him to go but didn’t vocalize it. The last thing he wanted to do was smother Rai. Konoe took advantage of the time to himself, opting to tend to the garden while Leaks was away. Konoe admitted he wasn’t a man of talent variety, Leaks said he got it from Shui. He knew how to tend a garden, how to fight and how to make fried fruit. Still, Konoe knew little of song writing or lute playing. He really was Leaks’ son.

Konoe didn’t know it, but just above his head was a shattered Asato. Shui was upstairs comforting him, he wasn’t tearful. But he was doing a Ribikia wail that was muffled by his pillow. Shui was helpless, Asato was accepting this. Why would anything be special? _Replaced._ Shui petted the distressed Touga, Leaks came into the room with something hot in a cup. Asato turned up and growled at the man he had once thought was his second father. 

“Why are you growling at me, my child?” Both Shui and Leaks referred to Asato as their child because they had know him since he was small.

“Your child!” Asato sat up, “You left me to die!” Asato huffed,

“Asato, you were in a state where I thought you were going to fucking murder everyone if I didn’t contain you.” Asato shook his head,

“You never liked the fact that Konoe picked me! You thought I was too soft and dumb!” Shui knew soon he would have to grab the rightfully pissed off Asato. “You let Konoe live in pain and then replace me with that arrogant jerk!” Asato wasn’t stupid, the moment he saw Shui crying on the forest floor in joy, he knew that Leaks had told no one. That’s why nobody came, because nobody knew. He was betrayed by Nano too. But Asato felt that could wait until he could actually get his hands on his former friend. Nano had to be dealt with, Asato preferred if it was a display for Akira and Konoe to see. Leaks hissed at Asato,

“I was the one who saved you and returned you to your father! The one who stopped you from whimpering and licked your slimy little forehead!” Leaks looked Asato in the eyes “And I was the one who resurrected you. I didn’t kill you because, despite your derangement, all I saw was that innocent little black magic child who I protected that day in the woods.” Leaks sighed, god, Asato was so simple to the point of frustrating Leaks. Not Konoe though, Konoe loved that about him. Asato looked as though he was about to speak again, but he cut him off, “I wouldn’t have brought you back had I hated your relationship with Konoe.”

“Then why did you place him with Rai?” Asato asked lowly,

“I thought you were surely dead from exposure. We picked Rai…” Leaks looked at Shui, who submitted to this is being a joint decision by bowing his head. “Because he wasn’t you, he isn’t anything like you, Asato. He’s got a lot more…”

“You think he’s smarter and more like you because he’s a good talker.” Shui finally piped up,

“You were my favorite, Asato. But this fight with Leaks…it doesn’t matter because Konoe has made his decision.” Asato’s face turned sad and his ears went down. Konoe had made his decision, Asato wanted Konoe to be happy more than he wanted to pick a fight with Rai. He was dejected, Leaks was conflicted. He looked to Shui, but he was still on the recoil from their fight and was being as submissive as possible. He was right about the fight being useless, but wrong about the reason. Asato thought and decided he wasn’t going to so easily hand over the love of his life,

“How is Konoe getting a fair decision if he thinks I’m dead?” Asato asked, Shui was silent as he looked upon Leaks. This was a hard question, Leaks didn’t have a solid answer. Both Shui and Leaks knew Konoe bitterness about Asato’s death had only recently declined. They weren’t Konoe, so they didn’t know what was right. Leaks was a man who had trouble admitting when he didn’t know the answer. Shui decided to help out,

“It’s hard to say with Konoe, we think he might be…”

“Feeling love for Rai?” Asato almost whimpered. This was definitely Asato, honest even when the truth hurt. Asato didn’t know what to think of Leaks, he didn’t know if he’d ever trust the cat again. But Leaks wasn’t the bother, it was Nano. Asato had believed he had had a real connection to Nano and their bond was close, but he was wrong. His precious friend of so many years had been ready to throw him away. Shui made a face of stress and comforted Asato,

“Leaks thought you were mentally gone forever, and I believed you to be dead. We introduced Rai to Konoe because we wanted someone who was different from you. Konoe was suffering greatly Asato, he would spend days at that painting in his room crying and sleeping or in the worship position mumbling things to himself.” Asato hurt at hearing that Konoe was in so much pain, “Rai is not better than you, he is just different. We figured we were also honoring you, you said that all you ever wanted was for Konoe to be happy.” Asato let out a sigh and laid down on the bed. He was depressed, but he understood Leaks and Shui’s line of reasoning. Asato did want Konoe to be happy; he was struggling between leaving him be or running out there and challenging the albino. Shui kissed Asato on the forehead, like he was still that tiny little gooey, not even Ribikia toddler he met all those years ago. “Our affection for you remains the same, Rai can never replace you because we knew you when you were small.” Asato’s tail flicked with anxiety.

Shui remembered when Asato was little. He and Leaks had decided to become wild because Kaltz had left to go do something. They were not aware that Kaltz had left Asato at home. Shui was pinned against the table with his hands tied behind his back, receiving the most erection inducing possessive growls when tiny Asato came in holding flowers. The small cat did not even question Leaks and Shui as he said that the orange and red flowers were for Shui. Leaks took the flowers and told Asato to go finish the reading he assigned him. It took them some time to get back to their lust after the small child melted their hearts.

 Shui stood up and approached Leaks, his position open for Leaks taking. He leaned and spoke softly to his husband,

“Let us leave this, we must let them be adults.” Leaks nodded, he could only help so much. Shui looked at Leaks hand, Leaks noticed and twinned their fingers. _I forgive you, no need to be afraid._ They left Asato to his devices.

* * *

 

 Rai and Konoe met together a few days later in front of the palace. There was an uneasiness between them. Rai didn’t know what to say, Konoe had literally looked him dead in the eye and said _I want to be with you over knowing the truth._ Rai wanted to connect them. He wanted a kiss…no, _more._ When were they going to address the attraction between them, on more than a childish tender kiss when no one looks level? Rai wanted to own Konoe, or at least pretend he did. He wanted to proclaim to the world that Konoe belonged to him. They were reaching the edge of town and entering the rural village areas on the outskirts. Rai spoke,

“Are you going to talk to me?” Konoe stopped and turned around,

“What do you want? Wasn’t that enough? I thought we were men and we don’t talk about our feelings.” What the fuck? Rai looked down, his Sanga was distressed. Rai’s heart must have been making changes because his first thought was to raise Konoe’s morale.

 “There is no need to be like this. I accept your hand.” Konoe looked surprised, “Your hand. You chose me over whatever Leaks was going to say back there.” Konoe made a face that Rai didn’t understand,

“I did, didn’t I?” Konoe sighed, Rai was trying to read Konoe but genuinely didn’t understand. Konoe looked down at his hand, before pulling something out of his pocket. It was the tiny handed painted locket of Asato and himself. He popped it open and looked sad.

“What is that?” Rai questioned, looking down,

“A small portrait of Asato and I.” Konoe responded dryly before putting the locket back in his pocket. Rai didn’t know it, but Konoe was preparing for the only thing that would allow the flowers of love to bloom and thrive. He was planning to finally do the one thing he hadn’t done in years, the thing he had just watched his dad do twice for Leaks. He needed to do it, if Rai was a good Touga, he wouldn’t put up with this one sided feedback of power anymore. Konoe needed to be put in his place at the feet of the man he had chosen for champion. For the only one who could and would give everything, Konoe gifted the one thing every Touga wanted…

_Surrender._

“Why did you do that?” Rai questioned, it was the moment of truth for Konoe.

“Because you are my Touga.”

“Leaks offered you the truth, though.”  
“Oh Rai, I don’t care about their fucking drama even if it is the truth if it means you leave. Our relationship needs to exist outside of the realm of my title.” Rai felt his heart pitter patter for a moment, so it was true.

“Does that mean I can call you my Sanga?” Rai smiled ever so slightly, his mood skyrocketed. The desire to pounce on his Sanga was resisted. Would Rai finally be able to fall in love? He was deeply afraid, but somehow felt it would safe if Konoe were to be the one beside him.

“Yes.” Rai held out his hand ever so slightly and Konoe leaned into Rai’s chest. He nuzzled his Touga and got cozy to him, Rai tilted Konoe’s face up and a kiss was shared. There was a long silence where a wordless agreement was made. Rai knew he’d have to dispose of his old life completely and Konoe agree to surrender, unquestioning loyalty. When it was over, they separated and walked on some more until they reached a small cottage that was seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

“What are we doing?” Rai questioned as Konoe pulled a key out of his breast pocket,

“Being truly alone for a bit. You’ll notice a much bigger place down the road a bit, that’s where I grew up. My parents have no idea we are here.” Konoe clicked open the door, this place was still untouched from when Kaltz left it before throwing himself of a bridge. Konoe had really fond memories of this place. He remembered when he was 11 season cycles and his parents had left him to be watched by Kaltz. Asato had just reached his first signs of puberty and was acting extra weird. Konoe didn’t realize it at the time but looking back that must have been when Asato first started falling in love with him. Now he had Rai in here, Rai would have his chance to take Konoe.

They stepped inside and Konoe went into the second bedroom—Asato’s childhood bedroom and fluffed up the sheets. Rai followed Konoe in there and looked around the room. It was neutral with blue sheets. Some flowers were dried on the walls. Konoe sat on the bed and leaned back, this was nice for him. It was away from the palace and it was safe. Rai put his stuff down and sat next to Konoe on the bed.

“Kinda small.” Konoe chuckled,

“What? You too used to the royal treatment already? I didn’t even live like that until I was like 16 season cycles.” Konoe remembered moving into the palace, he liked it, but he liked his old home better. The palace was a totally different life. Asato wasn’t permitted because the hadn’t officially claimed a partnership. The legality of it all was ridiculous. Rai was now tapping his tail on the bed, trying to decide whether or not to move in on Konoe. “What?” Konoe questioned, Rai looked away like nothing had happened. Konoe thought for a moment before jumping up off the bed. “Come on, I want to show you something.” Konoe slipped out of the small home and back into the clearing. There were woods all around them. Rai could only think that there was surely a reason this place was so in the middle of nowhere. Konoe headed towards the large cottage, and then looped around back. He was hoping he might lose the silver cat, who seemed lost in thought. But Rai noticed the attempted evasion. He caught up to Konoe and grabbed him lightly by the tail, causing Konoe to yelp, “Hey!”

“You picked me, stupid cat. You aren’t getting rid of me in the woods.” Konoe huffed and pulled his tail free,

“I was just trying to be playful, geez.” Konoe then sniffed the air and started heading to a patch of wild mushrooms on the side of a lake located behind the large cottage. Konoe stopped himself and Rai just at the edge of the mushrooms. There was a long silence as Konoe closed his eyes and nodded his head,

“You brought me here to show me your old Touga’s room and wild mushrooms?” Rai said, mildly annoyed.

“It’s not a random patch, it’s where my mother is buried.” Rai suddenly felt ashamed but didn’t show it. Konoe didn’t care, he was becoming soft to Rai and understood the sentiment. He continued on, “She is buried here because my parents believe that her spirit might know me and watch over me. She stays out here in the peaceful clearing, knowing that I am safe, and dad found happiness again after she died.” Konoe then looked at Rai, giving him an almost dreamy look that made the Touga’s heart speed up. There was a low purr from the smaller cat, “She knew Asato and know I brought you here so she could meet you too.” Rai suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. His gaze soften at Konoe,

“Isn’t weird for you? Knowing your mother is here but calling Shui and Leaks your parents?” Konoe shook his head,

“Leaks was the one who gave me life when she failed to.” Konoe said seriously, “I was born blue and choked to death by the line that is supposed to give a baby life. And Leaks saved me, the trade off was that I became physically similar to him….so I really do have 3 parents.” Rai then came up with something romantic to say,

“It doesn’t matter how you got here, all that matters is that you are here.” Konoe looked away with a blushing face and U-turned back towards the cottage. Rai followed his Sanga back.

 

* * *

 

 They entered the cottage. Konoe, rather cutely Rai thought, offered to make a late lunch. Rai sat at the dinner table seat with the clearest view of the kitchen and watched as his Sanga struggled to remember recipes. Rai found his lips turning up a few times and the late lunch turned into a candle lit dinner. Konoe had accidently turned this into wooing his Touga into the next stage of their relationship. Rai was given slightly overcooked rabbit with lightly salted potatoes and some type of home made bread that Konoe had warmed up.

“I must admit, I didn’t know such a brat could be so humble.” Konoe huffed,

“I earned my dues! I’m not a helpless baby.” Rai cut off a chunk of rabbit flesh and grinned at his Sanga. It was just a little hard around the edges, but not tough in the center. Rai decided he could deal. It wasn’t that the food was great. It was decent and edible, but it was the affection Rai had for the person that made was making it seem awesome. _Love is liking something in spite of its flaws._ Konoe grumbled about always messing up rabbit meat, but Rai ate his so Konoe thought maybe it wasn’t so bad. When they were done, Konoe cleaned the dishes while Rai leaned against the counter. The smaller cat looked up from rinsing off a dish, “Why are you so close to me?”

“I’m just grateful that I have a male wife.” Konoe almost dropped the dish setting on the rack,

“Male wife! You’re doing the fucking dishes next time.” Konoe pouted as he washed his hands and dried them. Konoe extracted a guiding leaf from a drawer in the living room and they walked back to the room in the hut. Konoe sent the leaf on the nightstand beside the bed and took off his shoes. As Rai was distracted by his own shoes, Konoe laid himself on his stomach on the bed and looked towards his Touga. Rai sat on the edge of the bed,

“Move over.” He commanded, Konoe was confused as he was pushed aside. He looked at his Touga’s bare feet and the faint shape of his body by the glow of the leaf. Rai closed his eye, Konoe was left staring at his Touga dumbfounded. He didn’t want Rai to feel pressured to have sex, because then the sex would be really awful. But he also feeling a bit rejected, Rai often kept himself under lock and key. Surely this was an extension of that? But Rai’s records were Konoe’s to read at any time. Maybe this wasn’t the time for sex, but Konoe really was in the mood…” Why are you just staring at me?” Rai said without opening his eye,

“I am not!” Konoe covered his face,

“You’re totally stiff and burying holes in me.” Rai peaked his eye open, Konoe hide face until he thought Rai had gone to sleep. He looked up and saw his Touga waiting for a reply. Konoe’s face began to heat up as he tackled with how to put how he was feeling.

“I just thought…. you know….” Rai looked deep into Konoe’s eyes and then chuckled. Konoe swatted at him, “Don’t laugh!” Rai thought it was cute and endearing. But also, something sincere. This Sanga had asked him for sex first, without prompting from Rai whatsoever. The albino was realizing that the truly vulnerable side of Konoe was coming out. Rai had wanted this so bad, yet right now he was at a total loss. Did he take this chance or wait until the next time? Would a next time even come? Rai decided to test something,

“You don’t know me well enough.” Not a no, it was a _later._ Konoe felt stupid and his heart dropped into his stomach,

“I just thought because things were going so well…” They were, weren’t they? But Konoe didn’t know about the demon incident that left Rai chronically blood thirsty or about Rin. Rai then tested a bit more,

“If you want to do this, it means you accept me no matter what may happen.” Konoe nodded, scooting closer to Rai,

“Of course, I do, and I will. I’m _your Sanga.”_ The Touga leaned over and started kissing Konoe. The smaller cat almost started devouring Rai’s face, he wanted it so bad. They started to press up against each other and Konoe put his hands on Rai’s navel. Rai tugged on Konoe’s clothes and the Sanga felt his crotch light on fire with excitement. Rai knocked fangs with Konoe, _If you have sex with him while he doesn’t know the real you he might as well be Mana. You know he wouldn’t want you if he knew the type of monster you are._ Konoe went for Rai’s dick and Rai harshly shoved him away and sat up in one swift motion. Konoe was even more in shock, but Rai wasn’t nearly as excited he was. His shocked mind tried to rationalize what just happened. Rai took in deep breaths and tried to not panic. Konoe became upset, “I don’t understand…” Rai’s mind was a haze as he stood and put on his shoes, “Where are you going?!” Konoe sprang for Rai and missed, landing on his hands and knees. Rai almost ran out of the hut, Konoe was not far behind. “Rai! Rai! Talk to me!” Konoe ran barefoot out into the icy night.

“I need to go.” Rai said dryly, not even looking at Konoe.

“Go? Go where? We’re out in the middle of fucking nowhere! What the fuck?” Konoe felt like he might cry, he was falling in love Rai. Why was this happening? Everything was going perfect, Rai was getting exactly what he wanted too…exactly what Rai wanted…Konoe then growled, “You don’t want me, do you? I guess I’m good enough looking to be stomached by you for title purposes, but you don’t want to be with me.” Rai glared over his shoulder,

“Shut the fuck up. You’re the one so eager to hop my dick you haven’t even bothered to get to know me as a person. I’m going.” Rai said these things with little force, he couldn’t even give the one he was supposed to love the fucking truth. He was a mess.

“That’s right! Just go! Don’t let me fucking see you at my palace ever again!” Konoe yelled and slammed the door the cottage. He crashed back into bed and fought the urge to cry. He felt humiliated.  _How dare he....I'll fucking show him._ Konoe vowed to make that asshole pay for making him look stupid.

  Rai would regret this decision later, he knew it deep inside. But it was wrong to take Konoe dishonestly, it would be letting Konoe love a lie. He couldn't think of much more horrible to do to a person that you cared about. Rai took in a deep breath and walked into the night. Unaware of the pair of blue eyes watching him from afar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No happy times.


	11. Relationships Are Not Worth Having

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clusterfuck is official.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Rai, why are you so messy?

                       

 The set of eyes that had been watching Rai from the woods were making their decision. Asato wanted to talk to the new Touga. Rai was heading off aimlessly. Asato, felt his heart weep at Konoe’s agitation. The temptation to go be at Konoe’s side and tell him things were okay was real. He resisted, as he was unsure of what exactly to do about Konoe. He did however want to talk to Rai. Asato didn’t like Rai, he didn’t like anyone who intentionally hurt Konoe. But he wanted to know why. Why all this? Nobody acts this way for no reason.

He followed Rai as he walked aimlessly into the woods. He didn’t know these woods, he would need Asato get back out. Asato trailed him for a little while until they came to a small fairy circle clearing. There was large rock, Rai decided to rest for a moment. He was tired and needed to use his energy in sporadic spurts until he found an acceptable place to sleep. He was thinking about what just happened with Konoe, if it wasn’t meant to be, he would accept that.  If that broke him, which it might, Rai accepted this. He was considering the realities of his actions when a silent figure came out of the woods and looked at him. The figure was a cat about his height with unkempt hair, long fangs, dark blue eyes, and deep caramel skin. Rai was frightened, thinking that he was seeing ghosts. It was Asato before him, was he so sleep deprived that he was seeing illusions? If so, this might be the time to have that fallen log from a little while back due for the night.

“Hello, Rai. Remember me? You saw me.” Rai was confused, he and this cat had met?

“I’ve never met you.” Rai said quieter than he intended.

“You have. In the woods, I’m Asato.” Asato really looked at Rai. This cat had a beautiful face, he hated admitted that. It was the type of face people wrote Prince Charming fairytales about. The type of face Asato didn’t have. It had always had stronger features and dark skin. He had been surrounded by fair-skin and delicate features his whole life. He often felt the despair of knowing that he wasn’t what the vision of a beautiful Touga was. Konoe was slightly subtler version of Leaks’ face, but he was a blonde with warm tones throughout him. He was the ray of light they described when speaking of Sangas. Asato had been made to feel like a beast, right now it really stung. Konoe had picked an aesthetic match, it drove Asato crazy.

“Haven’t you haunted me enough? Konoe will never see anything but the shadow of you in every Touga, including me. You have your way, be gone spirit.” Asato looked at Rai curiously.

“I am not dead. I cannot haunt.” Asato touched a tree to the right of him. Rai felt his heart drop into his stomach. This was the flesh and blood Asato, right in front of him. And he had just willingly given Konoe up…

“Spirits can sometimes interact with the land of the living, I will need more prove than that.” Asato huffed as thought about what to do, Asato then saw a sharp edge on a stone nearby. He picked it up and nicked himself with it, causing a few tiny droplets of blood to spill free on his arm. He held it up,

“Ghosts can’t bleed or feel pain.” Rai observed it for a few minutes, sure enough, it didn’t go away like a magic trick would. Rai stood and was on guard,

“What the fuck do you want then, Asato? Where have you been this whole time?” Asato realized just how difficult it would be to not lose his cool around this cat, he was ridiculous.

“I want Konoe’s total happiness. I have been away in the woods, left to die.” _But you’re a pretty boy who Leaks thinks is smart so you wouldn’t know about that._

“By who? Konoe?” Rai said that, he realized how stupid it sounded right after.

“By Leaks and Nano.” Asato waved his hands slightly, “I won’t go into it. Leaks like you so it’s not a problem you will have to worry about.” Every alarm bell went off inside Rai. Leaks left Asato to die in the woods? But why?

“No, that doesn’t sound like Leaks. He said-“

“You aren’t going to say anything I don’t already know!” Asato said, losing his shit at Rai’s condescending tone. Asato put his hand out, “Please, listen to me.” Rai didn’t know what to do, Asato had just silenced him successfully. How many times had that happened in his life? Not a lot. “Konoe is the love of my life, but now he loves you. I have no intention of taking Konoe from you, not for you, but for him.” Asato took a deep breath, “I don’t know what that was back there. But Konoe won’t take a lot of it for very long.” Rai had to admit this cat was confusing. So, he spoke,

“That guy would take you back in a heartbeat. He doesn’t really want me, never has.” Rai believed this to be the truth. Asato, however, wasn’t sure if he believed him.

“I’m not a vengeful cat.” Asato said rather matter-of-factly. “I’m not upset that Konoe decided to move on with his life after I was gone.” _What the hell was the point of this?_ Rai wondered. If Asato had no intention of a challenge for dominance or a desire to take Konoe back…what was this? That was an answer only Asato knew.

“What the fuck do you want then, Asato?” Asato looked around, thinking carefully. He needed to be straight, but also emotional about the matter.

“For you to treat Konoe right.” Rai looked Asato and then decided that this needed to take a different direction.

“Well you’ve fucked yourself on that one. Damned if I tell him your stupid ass is alive, damned if I don’t. Shit, Leaks was right about you…” Rai’s tone was that of upmost arrogance and Asato growled at him.

“You’ll be trash to Leaks just like me one day!” Asato declared in frustration, he clenched his fists. This cat thought he was special in the eyes of the domineering Leaks. But the truth was, Leaks thought no one could ever live up to be as great as he perceived himself and Shui. This was partially Shui’s fault for over-inflating the “glory” of their story. Asato had grappled before if there was something wrong with him for finding it annoying on occasion. Sure, everyone else found it quite beautiful, but Shui and Leaks didn’t partially raise them nor were their in-laws. Rai was struggling for words; this cat was upset but not for the reasons Rai assumed. Asato gave him no time to speak anyways, “One day you’ll find yourself just like me. Covered in all the royal bullshit, but still walking in Leaks’ shadow. Forever never strong or smart enough.”

“But I’m different from you.” Rai immediately felt like an idiot.

“It doesn’t matter, Rai! Don’t you understand…” Rai was now observing an Asato who was having a struggle with himself. This cat didn’t know how to say the words. He guessed it was one of those things you only learn by doing it. Rai decided that there were more pressing matters, given the conclusion he reached. He changed the subject,

“Do we have something in common that makes us both desirable for Konoe.” Asato got a slightly distressed, was he to tell this Rai the real meat of the matter? Did he already know and was testing Asato? Asato gauged their physical appearances. Rai had a feminine, pretty body face and fair skin. Silver hair that reached his back that matched an icy blue eye. And then there was Asato, a strong jawed and nosed dark skinned male with the same stature and vibrant ocean-blue eyes that suggest something supernatural. No, no, no! What was Asato doing? This wasn’t a physical appearance thing, Konoe wasn’t shallow. It didn’t matter how society perceived it, Konoe was the only judge who mattered….

“I don’t know.” Asato said helplessly. They reached an impasse and Rai decided to make it a draw with Asato.

“I won’t tell Konoe, but in exchange, you will have something of mine to keep secret.” A two-way gag order, Rai knew how Asato viewed the stakes and this would be perfect to keep him away.

“Alright.”

“The reason I am here, right now, with you, is because if I would have done that just now with Konoe…it would have been like every cheap, loose woman I’ve ever put my dick in. Totally meaningless.” Asato almost lunged at Rai before he finished the sentence. He silently praised himself for his impulse control.

“Why? Do you not love Konoe?” Asato asked, his face becoming dark and suspicious. Rai took a deep breath and decided there was no turning back,

“Because when I was younger, I attacked by a demon and it gave me this thing…” Rai was getting to hard part slowly but surely. “I go into a frenzy if I smell too much blood.” Short, accurate, and sweet without disclosing the full nature of the horror. Asato thought about this and imagined what it probably meant.

“In Leaks’ office there is a book in his desk about me. Read it.” Asato said, before determining that he was officially done with this conversation. Leaks always did say he was a time waster. He went back into the woods. Rai let him go, having nothing more to say to the Touga. After he was sure Asato was gone and he was truly alone in those woods, Rai felt exhaustion grab at him. He decided to lay on the soft moss beneath a fallen tree and sleep.

* * *

 

Konoe was looking a bit too much like his father today. He was dressed in all black as he stormed back to the castle. A few people even bowed and addressed him as ‘Touga Master Leaks’. This would have normally pissed him off, but he couldn’t care less right now. He didn’t to make sure that fucking asshole Touga didn’t come back to his castle. Konoe couldn’t handle the unfound frigidness and constant rejection. This made him a hypocrite, but it was past the point of mattering. He was the Princes’ son after all. He took a break when he reached the castle gates to catch his breath before continuing his charge into there. He went straight to the dining hall where Shui and Leaks were having a one-sided chatty breakfast. They looked up. Shui held back a smile, as his son was clearly pissed. _But he looked so much like Leaks it was cute._ Leaks looked at his son and found a living mirror had walked in,

“Konoe, what is it you are so emotional about?” Leaks said that in a bit too dismissive of a tone and Konoe slammed his fists against the table.

“I’ve had enough of that asshole’s rejection! This is the 3rd time he was rejected my efforts to mate with him.” Shui and Leaks looked at each other in surprise. But then both of their minds immediately went in the same direction. _Asato’s smell._

“What do you want us to do about it, kitten?” Shui said sweetly,

“I want him banned from the castle.” Shui thought about it before responding,

“Okay, I can do that. But you should know, if you change your mind and bring him on the grounds, it will be…what was the word…” Fuck, now of all times for words to fail,

“Nullified.” Leaks quickly filled in.

“Yes, nullified.” Konoe was onto something more suspicious, why did his dad just agree so quickly? He looked at Shui intensely,

“Why did you agree so quickly?” Shui sighed and touched Leaks hand.

“Because, Konoe, this struggle has been for so long. We are exhausted too and beginning to remorse even pushing you at all.” Shui spoke truthfully and it felt nice after so much deceit. “You’re our only baby and no guy is worth this much suffering, Konoe. We want to relieve you.” Shui had came to his own conclusions about Asato. The Sanga very much believed in the forces of the universe and Konoe would be tugged in the right direction. If it was meant to be Rai, it would be. If he was meant to return to Asato, he would. Shui had thought about it, Asato was a much different time in Konoe’s life. One might even say it was a different life altogether. Rai might be the something new Konoe needs to start his path towards greatness. Shui knew things weren’t meant to last forever. Even though he knew he’d probably be buried in the same grave as Leaks, there was always that small chance. After all, Shui had also believed this love for his first spouse to be eternal.

“Oh alright…” Konoe didn’t know what to say, he looked at Leaks, who really didn’t have much to say on the matter. He had seriously considered confessing to Konoe and just dealing with the anger. He had decided not to, not because he feared his child, but because really it wasn’t his place. Asato was in control. Even now, he was the one hiding from Konoe. Konoe looked at what they were eating. He decided he was hungry because he planned to give a big speech but there was no need for that now. Shui tapped the spot across from him,

“Come here, we’re your parents, of course you take our food.” Konoe resided himself to sit across from Shui and next to Leaks, they gave him chunks of what they were eating. It was the first comfortably silent meal he had in a long time.

* * *

 

 When Asato appeared back in his chamber, Leaks went in there. The cat had vanished last night and Leaks was paranoid of what might happen if Asato acted recklessly. Asato was rightfully distant and depressed to the point of not having much of appetite. Which was a big deal because Asato was a cat who loved food and was grateful for every bite.

“Where did you go last night?” Leaks questioned,

“Didn’t Rai tell you?” Leaks frowned,

“No, Rai got banished from the castle today because he finally did Konoe in mentally. Shui is serving him the declaration tonight after he finishes his dessert party with his friends.” Asato let out a sigh and for a moment was afraid of Leaks’ wrath. Then he realized he had already suffered the worst fate Leaks could have gave, so he decided to stick it to him.

“I followed them out the cottage last night.” Leaks looked at Asato in surprise,

“Why?”

“To talk to Rai, but then he was mean to Konoe and we fought about when he found me.”

“Rai did? Does he know who you are?” Leaks felt anxiety and tired to cover it up.

“Yes.”

“How did it end?”

“We agreed that it will be Konoe’s choice and there is no use in fighting each other.” Leaks was surprised by Rai’s ability to properly reason with the emotional Asato.

“What do you plan to do?”

“Leave Konoe alone.” Asato spoke dejectedly. Leaks turned his back and darted for Shui. But Shui was gone, off to speak to Rai, and Leaks felt totally helpless. He was an embarrassment to the kingdom right now.

* * *

 

 The air was starting to turn warmer at night and Shui only needed a light coat to give Rai the paper. When he saw the door to the apartment, he sighed and remembered that Shiki also lived here. Shui took a moment to mentally prepare in case it was he who answered the door instead of Rai. He then entered the complex and took the liberty of reading the ledger to figure out which room was Rai’s. Sometimes being the Prince had its perks, Shui could certainly be more efficient than an average person might be. Shui ascended the stairs to the 3rd floor. He walked down the hallway slowly, he didn’t want to be noticed by the other residents. He then took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There was the sound of Shiki saying: _What the fuck? Is that tricky ass female back?_ And Rai responding: _Probably not, considering you crushed her._  Shui then heard them banter to each other about if and who should answer the door. He gave it a few minutes before speaking,

“It is I, your majesty, open.” Shui said that daintily, hoping nobody else would notice. There was then a rustling and the door opened. There stood Rai, shirt-less and Shiki sat lodged on the black leather sofa in the living room. The place was cluttered, but not nearly as bad as Shui imagined. It was normal amount of clutter, suggesting at least a few years of living there.

“Prince? What the hell are you doing here?” Shui took one look at Rai’s unsuspecting face and stood up straight. He decided on using his ‘royal voice’ for this. He held out the piece of paper,

“By the authority given to me by the King of Sisa, I Prince Shui and Head Sanga of the Second Royal Division, banish you from all my royal properties. This includes my sacred home with the Head Touga Master Leaks, my palace, and my all my entertainment arenas.” Rai looked shocked as he took the paper and read it. Yes, it was definitely a royal decree. Holy shit, Asato really wasn’t a liar. Shiki started to laugh and Shui was trying to ignore him, he had been banned from the properties ages ago. He then spoke as Rai tried to swallow his urge to punch himself in the dick for being so stupid.

“Hey, Mana, you can come out! They found about you, the gig is up!” Shiki was wickedly grinning and Shui was instantly confused. Shui then watched as a woman with cropped red hair entered the room, a sheet wrapped around her body. The Prince entered the apartment, slipping between Rai and the door. Shui had to get a closer look to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was. He looked at her closely, he sniffed the air around her and she smelled of sex. He then peered into the room she had exited from and that room also smelled of sex with the bed messed up from the act. Shui was no idiot, he was old to be everyone’s dad here. Oh god, he and Leaks had been such idiots! This guy really wasn’t into other male cats and thought he could get away with skimping out the romance with Konoe! How could he and Leaks both have been so blind? Shiki was snickering, but Shui couldn’t have cared less about the prick right now. Shui wasn’t one to rage out in these situations like his husband was, but right now his heart was racing with anger. He turned around and made a sour face at the woman. She was blank, _Airheaded bimbo. She has to be to tolerate Rai._ Shui felt his nasty side emerging, Rai felt all that gentle sunshine that the Head Sanga usually oozed like honey gone. Really gone, Rai admitted he was a bit intimidated.

“Do you know about Rai and my son?” Shui asked Mana in the iciest tone he could have. Mana looked at Rai, she thought about lying, but she was more afraid that would get her in more trouble. She had a moment of lucidity and shrunk back as she responded to the Prince.

“Yes, but he didn’t tell me it was romantic between them.” Mana truly didn’t believe it was romantic between Konoe and Rai. The silver cat still had sex with her and treated Konoe like he was means to an end constantly. Rai had also led to her to believe that Konoe was with him merely to amuse his parents.

“What do you mean?” Shui said

“I thought it was business relationship and they had an understanding…”  Shui nodded. After everything he’d seen of this cat, he totally believed her.

“You aren’t in trouble, Mana.” The Prince spoke, putting his hand on her head to assure her before turning to Rai. He glared intensely, controlling his tongue. He walked to get close to Rai’s face and spoke not insults, but venom nonetheless.

“You disgust me, no wonder you get along with that poisonous cat. I will make one thing known, my dear child Asato has been recently discovered as alive and I will be reuniting him with Konoe. Don’t you ever let me find you near him or my family ever again. Or the next time you fight Leaks and I, it will be for real and _you will lose_.” Shui showed his fangs a bit and Rai didn’t know he could be afraid of the Prince. But he was pissed and left the silver cat speechless. There was nothing he could say to make this better. Shui then stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. Rai turned around to Shiki, his face pure despair. Shiki smiled once more, he was such a sociopath.

“I fucking told you. You and I are the same.” Rai wished he had to the nerve to deny it but…Shiki was right. He had lied so much. All Rai could do was absorb the guilt and the self-induced heartbreak. He brushed past Mana and decided he didn’t care what she did. He wasn’t angry at her, she had no reason to be loyal to him. Rai instead opted to go to bed early while he heard Shiki chatting with Mana about what just happened.

* * *

 

 Shui told Asato the minute he returned home, Asato got visibly angry and Leaks snarled. But Leaks deep down felt he was being partially relieved. Shui and Leaks made a pact to make sure the cat paid, but they didn’t know how yet. Losing Konoe wasn’t a punishment in their minds, so Asato agreed to visit Konoe in the morning. They all awoke before Konoe and decided that Shui would freshen up with orange tonic water and a chamomile tea. Leaks prepared what he would say to his son and just hoped to goddess Konoe wouldn’t disown him. When the late morning arrived Asato followed Shui to Konoe’s room, no, his and Konoe’s room. He was nervous, like this wasn’t his spouse. He felt like the first time he and Konoe kissed. All jittery and misplaced, deathly afraid of rejection. Shui softly rapped on the door, Konoe said ‘come in’. Shui slowly opened the door, his gentle personality reemerging upon seeing his son.

“What you do you want, dad?” Shui smiled warmly,

“I have surprise for you!” Konoe went from laying to sitting on his bend,

“What is it?” That’s when Shui gestured over his shoulder and Konoe couldn’t believe his eyes as Asato emerged from around the corner. Konoe let out sigh and checked twice to make sure he wasn’t being fooled. Shui grinned, but was silent at to not ruin the moment and Konoe darted towards Asato. The bigger cat purred in delight at he caught his Sanga in his arms, “Oh my goddess, oh my goddess…” Konoe looked up at grabbed at Asato’s face with his hands just to make sure it was material. Asato kissed Konoe’s forehead rather boldly.

“Konoe.”

“Asato.”


	12. Relief of Post

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe and Asato have sex. Rai has 3 mental crisis within the span of 4 days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's even reading this?

                 

“Where have you been?” Konoe questioned angrily, Shui felt relief wash over him. His family was back together. Any fallout from here on out was worth it. Asato wasn’t a man of words, but he tried to speak. Konoe observed his face closely. He knew this cat, his being away was not a choice he had a say in most likely. They were glued together before. But if he was back alive, who did it make the decision? Did he do it accidently and nobody had noticed until Asato wandered back into town? If that was the case, he felt incredibly guilty for not searching other possible resurrection sites. Shui spoke,

“He’s not been away of his own accord, Konoe. Do not be angry with him.” That is when Konoe started becoming suspicious of his dad. Konoe decided to play along,

“Did I bring him back?” Shui shook his head,

“No, of course not.” It was annoying to know that nobody in the room thought Konoe was capable of such powerful magic. He tried to let it go, there was nothing that could be done about it. But if he didn’t bring Asato back, who did? Did Rai bring him back as a means of getting rid of him for good? So, there would be no doubts for sure…No, Rai didn’t have that kind of power. What was Konoe even thinking? Why was Konoe even thinking about Rai? He needed a tea break. “Let’s go have some food Konoe.” Asato tugged Konoe along into the dining hall. Where Leaks was sitting, the moment he saw them enter he rose from his chair. That was when Konoe knew: _The simple answer is often the right answer._ Leaks had brought Asato back, but why?

“Konoe.” Leaks said, barely hiding the sadness his voice. He wasn’t sad about Asato’s return. He was trying to come to terms with the fact that if he was rejected by his son, it would be only slightly less painful than Konoe’s death. For the first time in his life, Leaks was fearing what someone else had to say. What someone had to think. Your children are a mirror of you and sometimes mirrors break or become portals to other worlds.

“You brought back Asato!” Konoe said, his tone seeming joyed. Leaks shooed it away,

“I’m not your hero, nor the parent you find comfort in when you need it. So, I will just rip this wound open…” Leaks then told the story of when Asato was first brought back and he watched as Konoe faded into anger. His tail flicked. There was a pregnant pause when Leaks was done, he put his head down. Guarding himself from whatever is about to happen, Konoe breathed in and out. Konoe looked at Shui,

“Was there really a girl at Rai’s or was it just a bluff to make sure I wouldn’t take Rai back?” Shui’s eyes widened,

“Don’t you dare! I would never lie about such a thing!” Shui bared his fangs a bit at his son.

“It’s true, Konoe, Rai- “Konoe grabbed Asato’s hand and started to pull him,

“We are leaving!” Shui stopped Leaks from attempting to wrangle his son back to the breakfast table. He watched his child leave in a huff. Shui held his hand to Leaks’s chest and felt the Touga’s heart beat fast. He didn’t say anything; Leaks was already feeling guilty. _Konoe needs time_ Shui softly echoed into Leaks’ brain. Leaks looked at Shui,

“That child…”

“No, this Touga.” Shui patted Leaks’s face.

* * *

 

 Asato would have followed Konoe through hell and highwater. He was a bit confused, but relieved, Konoe had not freaked out. Asato didn’t want Konoe to think he would have just abandoned him for no reason. Konoe was feeling horrible for more than just Leaks’ lies, he felt bad. He was not powerful enough to bring his own Touga back to life. He walked silently with Asato. Asato wasn’t Rai, he’d give Konoe a moment to breath. Asato could read the mood, understand Konoe’s struggle. Once Konoe felt he had put some good distance between himself and his parents, he stopped. Asato was unsure of what to do. Konoe looked at him,

“Why are you looking at me like I am a fragile baby?”

“I am not sure what to say…” Oh Asato,

“I missed you…” Konoe said softly, deciding that this boiling rage for Leaks was going nowhere right now.  They had reached just outside the city lines and Konoe saw a soft spot in a nearby field. He sat and invited Asato to sit beside him. Asato put his head on Konoe’s shoulders, deciding purring was something he could not help. Konoe was trying to think of a way to open,

“What did you…do in the woods?” Asato arranged himself,

“Gathered, hunted, repaired my shelter…” This was… awkward. Asato remembered those romance books he found in the city library. Wasn’t being reunited with your true love supposed to be intense and quixotic? Konoe felt the same way. He was trying to break through, this was flesh and blood Asato. A lovely dream come true, despite the circumstance.

“I’m sorry, I’m just still in shock.” Konoe laughed nervously, Asato kissed him on the forehead. He blushed in response, “Ah thank you…can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” Asato said dutifully.

“Do we have to talk right now?” Asato shook his head,

“No, we can talk whenever Konoe feels like it.” Konoe smiled at Asato and fell back onto the grass. He tugged Asato down with him, even though the Touga needed no prompting. Asato made sure he remained snuggled next to Konoe, who was invoking a dreamy silence with his closed eyes. Now this is what Asato felt must be right.

* * *

 

 Rai was brooding. That fucking Sanga, reacts and asks questions later. The night of incident, Rai was beyond enraged and had thrown Mana shit outside. He told her that if she ever set foot on this property again he would make sure no man would ever fuck her again. And then came Shiki, Rai hated fighting with Shiki. The man was an apathetic, soulless person driven by the shallow. He always had been, he argued until he was tired of it. There was no point, Shiki didn’t care he had assisted in ruining Rai’s chance to be with Konoe. It wasn’t like Rai could kick him out either, there was no way Rai could afford to pay this place on his own. Rai had spent the past 3 days mourning the loss of Konoe. He replayed Shui’s face over and over again, trying to find something more. It had almost been like Shui was looking for a better excuse to get rid of Rai. But why? Konoe was pretty pissed but would have gotten over it. The silver cat didn’t understand.

 Rai dressed himself and cleaned his teeth. He’d been locked in this room for 3 days; it wasn’t about Shiki. No, he didn’t deserve such credit. Rai cared because he had to silently admit to himself that he had begun to seriously fall for Konoe. It deeply worried him that he was genuinely obsessing over whether or not Konoe had felt the same. He looked at his plain clothes, grabbed his keys and left. Shiki was nowhere to be found, but the dishes had been done and the living room swept. Of course, he continued on like nothing had occurred. Rai mentally smacked himself for continuing to consider Shiki. He almost ran out of the building.

He made his way to the pub. The pub he first encountered Konoe. It was a working day in the late afternoon, the place would be mostly empty. He entered through the swinging doors and was relieved to find that he was right. The building held only a few regular drunks and some people in pairs doing business or having a lazy date. He sat at the bar, which was unattended right now. He could wait, he had nowhere to be. The royal court had still not released him from duty. It was unable to re-enroll for school until he was relieved of his position at the castle. Nobody would hire him either because “royal property” was a massive liability. Shui had well and truly fucked him over right now.

He observed each person in the bar, wondering what had led them here. The drunks were of no interest, they were no mystery. All 4 of them were middle aged cats who had done nothing useful with their lives and now attempted to drink the pain away. Rai turned his attention to a couple in the far right sitting at one of the high tables, their faces looked ghostly under the soft blue light of the lantern. They were both very average looking. She had a small bust and a heavy bottom. He had stubble and worn out mine worker hands. He couldn’t hear them, so he tried to deduce why they might be wearing their current weary expressions. It wasn’t unhappiness, no, it was dissatisfaction. They appeared to have a fine marriage; but Rai wouldn’t be surprised if they were sad because they weren’t currently living the life they thought they would be at their age. This was the state of being. The ruby on the wife’s wedding ring glimmered in the light like it was the only expensive thing she owns or has ever owned. Shui and Leaks lived in bubble. Rai wanted to fuck their brat’s brains out. All these things: irrelevant.  

“Hey, what can I get you?” The bar tender arrived back, interrupting Rai picking apart the imaginary problems of an unknown couple. Rai thought about it,

“A Sanga with extra sour, please.”

* * *

 

 They had made the decision to go back out to the old cottage for the night. Konoe had gone to bath, but Asato was on the case of something deeper. He was thinking about that cat, Rai. His room reeked of the guy in his and father’s former hut. Asato knew his dad was dead, the northern edge of the woods was not far from where Kaltz thrown himself to his death. Asato admitted to being annoyed with Konoe. He was irritated not because Konoe didn’t save the remaining scent of Kaltz, there was no way for his Sanga to know that he had been alive out there. He was mad because it spoke volumes about how easily his own memory was squashed the moment that silver cat entered the scene. He wasn’t pissed at Rai, Konoe had lost his mind.

Konoe was happily humming to himself as he stepped out of the lake. Oh, the countless memories here. He walked towards the hut. He knew Asato just returned, but Konoe hadn’t been touched by anyone for more than 10 minutes in years. He was in the mood and he hoped Asato would find it romantic. Konoe tried to be sexy as he entered the hut half-naked. But he noticed Asato was touching his childhood things. Had Leaks told Asato Kaltz was dead? Konoe decided to not bring it up.  

 He slipped into the room and purred, curling his tail. Asato was sitting in bed, his ears turned when he heard Konoe enter. He sat up and looked at Konoe, who was giving a half-lidded sultry look. He felt his heart speed up, oh god, was lust about to override agitation? Asato was confused, he wanted to have some sort of manly dignity about his memory but also…Konoe. The blonde noticed Asato making a confused and pained face, he stopped in response. He walked over and sat on the bed beside Asato,

“What’s wrong?” He touched Asato hand. The Touga didn’t know how honest he should be. He decided to talk to Konoe about his feelings and hope it didn’t kill his Sanga’s sex drive.

“Konoe, I feel by bringing that Rai guy here, you’ve disrespected my dad and I.” Konoe was glad to see that Asato’s emotions and way of talking had not lost their purity. But there was a major question before he could continue….

“Rai? How do you know the name of the other cat that was here?” Asato looked at Konoe,

“I saw you with him the day Shui brought me back to the castle, I heard you call him by his name.” That didn’t make any sense, Asato had not been close enough to Rai at any point to smell him or see him.

“But how do you know it was him who was here?” Konoe pressed, Asato was getting more upset because this conversation was getting derailed. The Kiran had had enough,

“I saw him with you in this hut! I confronted him when he went into the woods.” Konoe could not believe his ears and Rai had kept it from him too. Wait, was that asshole so hellbent on getting the crown that he would have happily lived between him and Asato all while still cheating on him? Konoe was fucking angry for ever being attracted to Rai.

“You stalked me instead of coming to me right away?” Asato bite his lower lip, holding back a frustrated growl.

“I wasn’t sure, Konoe. I didn’t know…” Asato’s face was now a mix of anger and sadness. There were a few minutes of silence before something struck Konoe. He was letting a cheater come between him and his husband. Asato was innocent, the wrong person to be angry at. He let out a breath and touched Asato,  
“Asato, we are letting someone who doesn’t even matter stand between us right now. I am not angry at all. I’m sorry for bringing him here, if I could take it back I would…will you forgive me?” Konoe made a gentle face at his Touga, Asato looked like he was melting. He wasn’t harsh around Konoe at all. He loved his Sanga so much. Konoe was right, they were letting that mean cat come between them and they hadn’t even been together one day.

  
“I forgive you.” Asato said softly. Konoe looked at his body as those words made his primal urge to mate swell like a fresh bruise. He was afraid to ask now, but decided to try anyway. He kissed Asato and the Touga felt like his mind broke for a second. The mere scent of Konoe used to drive him mad. Being forced to live like an animal for 3 season cycles had taken his toll. He remembered speaking to himself to make sure he didn’t lose his voice. He remembered all the lonely, cold, helpless night. How many times had he saved Konoe and those days he wished for Konoe to save him instead? Here the blond was, initiating sex like was dire. All these dreadful memories all channeled at once to kiss Konoe back. Asato quickly lost his bed shirt and Konoe was the first to be naked as the cloth had been covered his bottom was tossed away. The action had been almost beast-like. Konoe felt Asato’s primal domination coming out. He wanted it so bad, this beast man of his. He didn’t care if he was torn to pieces. Konoe breathed out loudly as went for Asato’s cock with his hands. He stroked it and Asato used his mouth to lick and tug at Konoe’s ears. Asato reached down and started to jerk Konoe off right back. The Sanga whimpered but it sounded almost musical to Asato. Their tongues tangled again. Asato felt himself getting close and stopped Konoe’s hand.

“No.” Asato commanded and Konoe couldn’t agree more, that’s why he allowed him to be put on his stomach while Asato used his tongue on his hole. Konoe cried out when that rough cat tongue touched his prostate, the right mix of pleasure and pain. Konoe grabbed onto the sheets as he felt Asato penetrate him. Asato moan loudly, he didn’t think he’d feel this good again. He almost too vigorous because he almost immediately started pounding into Konoe. He laid his body on top of his Sanga and kissed his neck and stroked his penis. Konoe whined and moaned. He came before Asato, to his regret. Asato had to thrust a few more times before he stopped an ran his nails down Konoe’s chest. He shivered and gave himself a moment before getting off Konoe. He laid beside him and they gave each other space to cool down before snuggling up close to each other, forgetting the world.

* * *

 

 Rai was at the legal office, wondering how he could use a loophole in the banishment law to get on the property to demand Shui and Leaks release him from post. The rent and water were coming up, he didn’t want to fight with Shiki about some fucked up favor for paying all the bills this month. He sat in the waiting office until the secretary called him back. He sat across from an older cat wearing a plain brown outfit. Lawyers had to be plainly dressed, a flashy outfit might distract from the point of a case. They shook hands and the lawyer greeted him,

“Hello, Rai, is that your name? I’m Arjan, I worked for the king for 10 season cycles before deciding to aid the common folk in navigating royal law.” He was a bit reserved, he seemed to take himself a bit too seriously. Rai chose to not worry about it. “What can I help you with?”

“I need to be released from my post as royal touga but I’ve been banished from the castle.” Arjan nodded,

“Oh, you are that Rai...well I will not pass any judgment, I never cared for that royal brat the Prince has the nerve to call the heir.” Rai huffed, fucking Shui running his mouth. How many people knew of it? Well nobody knew the truth; Rai had not put his dick in Mana since he met Konoe. This guy seemed to reset Konoe though, Rai felt slightly defensive. He repressed it to the best of his ability. “They’ll release you soon, you know that, right?” The lawyer spoke like he had a way of knowing that.

“I need to go back to my old job, rent is soon.” Rai said dryly, he was trying not to jerk this guy off. He was used to being the smartest in the room, Rai felt that Arjan had perhaps been fired by the King.

“Well, technically the ban was instated by Konoe, if what I hear is true.”

“I assume, I wasn’t there.” _Stop trying to lead me into a conversation about you._

“If that is the case…It is Konoe’s job to release you not Shui or Leaks’, you are still free to approach him outside of the castle. Otherwise, there is nothing that can be done.” Great. Rai stood, feeling like he totally wasted his time coming here. Konoe needed to release him. Of course, he did, but he didn’t know how much of a vendetta Konoe had. He began to leave when the lawyer almost launched out of his chair, “Hey, I require payment!”

“You either get paid or tell everyone how much of a waste your advice is.” The lawyer looked at him wide-eyed.

“But!”

“No, this was a total waste for me. I’m going.” Rai left, leaving Arjan dumbfounded but taking the threat seriously. That was the type of person who had never been humbled a day in life.  Rai didn’t know how he was going to catch Konoe but he was.

* * *

 

 After a night of thinking about it. Rai decided to do the only thing he could: wait until Konoe left the castle to ambush him with demands of getting his life back. Rai had to do whatever to get Konoe to release him. There was a bench a short walk from the gates of the palace, Rai sat there with a flask of water and some kuims for the whole day: only getting up every so often to urinate in the nearby bushes and stretch for a bit. A whole day passed, no sign of Konoe. The sun was getting ready to set and Rai felt defeated.

 While he was considering going back to the apartment for a rest, he heard the gate squeak slowly. He looked up and out came Shui. Rai felt anger, he was not expecting to see the Prince. Shui looked at Rai and took a deep breath, standing totally straight. This cat…why had he come back? Did he seriously think he and Leaks would not notice him? Leaks and Shui could not kick him off the bench, as he was not technically on royal property. So Shui decided to confront Rai, as Asato and Konoe were still hiding out at the cottage. Shui felt the white cat’s anger, what a selfish cat. Shui strode over and looked down at Rai,

“What do you want?” he said sternly, trying to channel his husband’s authoritative presence as best as possible.

“My freedom from your shitshow of a palace.” Rai huffed, Shui was confused,

“What do you mean?” Rai stood,

“Konoe is the only one allowed to relieve of my post.” Rai half mumbled, Shui glared,

“Why should he relieve you? You cheated on him, you don’t deserve your life back.” That was it, Rai had had enough. He stood up and glared down at Shui,

“I did not cheat on him! It was Shiki fucking Mana and you might have learned that had you been intelligent enough to not have such a pea brained reaction!” Shui smacked Rai clean across the face,

“Don’t you fucking speak to me like that!” Shui yelled, Leaks was observing from a tower window. Trying to see where this was going before getting involved. Rai growled,

“Then earn my respect.” Rai hissed, Shui hadn’t felt this angry in a long time.

“No! You played with my Konoe’s heart!” Shui was shaking.

“I have waited patiently for Konoe to be ready to mate with me, I haven’t slept with Mana since I met him. She was having sex with Shiki that day after being bitterly rejected by me. The only person playing with Konoe is you. I know Asato is alive.” Shui’s tough demeanor changed almost instantly to deer in the headlights. Rai knew…there was an awkward pause and then the sound of footsteps. Leaks came from the palace gates and stepped forward. His expression was forlorn, Rai looked him and up down.

“I believe you, but you are too late. Konoe happily took Asato back.” Then Leaks turned to Shui, “You are embarrassing, go back inside.” Shui obeyed, deciding he would demand an answer from Leaks in the morning. Rai looked at Leaks, why was he so keen to believe him?  
 

“Why aren’t you siding with your husband?” Leaks looked away and then looked back,

“I heard you yell Shiki’s name.” Oh. Shiki was a snake in Leaks’ mind. A man so awful Leaks refused to train him as a Touga and instructed nobody else qualified do so either. Being the terrible person Shiki was, and he and Rai live together, Leaks figured Rai had more risk involved opposing Shiki.

“Well, fine.” Rai kicked a pebble away, “When will Konoe return to relieve me of post?” He asked impatiently.

“I don’t know, I last saw him at my cottage. Do not worry, I’ll just do it. I can override anything my son does, as I have more power as long as I am alive.” Rai looked confused,  
“But I spoke to a lawyer.” Leaks chuckled,

“Who cares what some puppet of the King know-it-all has to say about my abilities? I’m the head Touga, the only two cats with more power than me are Shui and the King.” Leaks was casually mentioning it, but Rai actually didn’t know that. He guessed Shui had more power because a Touga was nothing without the Sanga. But the Sanga was always a Sanga no matter what. Leaks felt tired, he needed to wrap it up.

“I won’t meddle in your affairs with Asato and Konoe, my son is an adult. If he chooses to still deal with you, you will not be deprived of normal life. Do not sacrifice whatever educational future you have to play my son’s mental games.” Leaks turned gracefully on his heels and went back inside the castle. This didn’t fix the rent issue; Rai was dreading making a fucked up loan deal with Shiki. He had no choice though; it was that or be homeless. He sauntered back home.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Prince and the Touga](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16422674) by [SonicoSenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai)




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